(Closed) How do you set boundaries with families?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

As our premarital counselor advised me:  this is why people have doors with locks and fences.  You have to create your own boundaries and put your foot down.  You WILL hurt feelings,  but you will NEVER get your privacy until you do.  They just think they are being polite and nice – but you need to set the ground rules, since what they want is TOO MUCH.

When they invite themselves over, do NOT open the door.  I don’t care if both your cars are there and they call.  Do not pick up, do not open the door.  

Or, since they do give you warning – tell them, oh, sorry – it won’t be possible to see you.  We’ll call you when it’s a better time.

If they ask when the next time you are visiting, say:  we aren’t sure, but we will let you know.  Or, pick some date WAY in the future.

 

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