(Closed) How do you split expenses?

posted 4 years ago in Finances
Post # 16
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

I think it really depends on how much you make vs. how much your SO makes and possibly other factors. I make more than twice what my DH makes, so I pay for almost everything (mortgage, utility bills, groceries, etc.). DH pays for our cell phone bill, our Comcast bill, and “fun” expenses (e.g., NASCAR races and concert tickets). It works for us for now.

Post # 17
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
Jacqui90 :  We make similar money but we combined ours from the beginning and we are married so I suppose it wouldnt be as relevant..

But we did have a discussion about splitting the finances at one point  when we had some tension on how we spend money and how we save, and what we discussed and agreed (though didnt carry it through) was that we take a percentage of our total income – eg if he made 60% of our total income and I made 40% (which was the case at the time), then he would pay 60% of the joint expenses and I paid 40%. 

We didn’t end up carrying that through because I felt uncomfortable not having access to his money because in the near future if we had a baby, I wouldn’t have any income. Also I didnt feel it was fair because I went into the marriage with more savings than him.

He’s also not very good with managing his finances either so we decided it would be beneficial in the long run that we combine our income and save together. Also, he is super bad with paying bills on time so I knew I would take on that role and then have to chase him for his portion of the money which I knew would create a lot more tension. So yeah combining the finances works perfectly for us. 

Post # 18
Member
1384 posts
Bumble bee

We make nearly the same amount so we split things 50/50. 

Post # 19
Member
7982 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

We knew we would be married and we had discussed me being a sahm, so we deposited my paycheck into savings and lived off his income in order to build a nest egg. We never considered who made how much, as in our minds, “it all comes from the same pot.”

Post # 20
Member
4493 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We have two joint accounts, one for expenses, one for savings. All our pay goes into the expenses account, and then we get an amount for ‘fun money’ about $150 per fortnight each. We keep our expense account sitting at a certain level, and any extra gets funnelled into savings. My husband tends to save a lot of his ‘fun money’ in another account, just for him…. then he blows it on big things, whereas I spend mine as soon as I get it, because I am bad like that. 

We have done well to save a lot of money and pay off our home, so this system works for us.

** edited to add he makes waaay more $ than I, I work part time. We consider all money OUR money.

Post # 21
Member
15531 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Everything just goes into a joint account to pay everything and for savings.  We don’t look at who makes what, who pays what, and who gets to spend what.  We live easily live below our means and don’t spend a lot on random stuff day to day.   So when we do want to buy anything, as long as we have the money for it and we think its a smart or needed purchase or that we “deserve” a little splurge, we buy it.

Post # 22
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

BF and I briefly talked about how to split things when we first moved in together (I’d pay more for rent because I wanted a nicer apartment than he did, he’d pay more for groceries because he ate so much more, etc) but we never actually did it. Possibly because we quickly knew that this was going to work out (and we just put down a 50% non-refundable deposit on a diamond for the ring this Tuesday… eeeee!) or just laziness?

Paying for stuff has been a function of 1) who has the credit card that gets more points and 2) if it’s the same, who’s wallet is closer.

Post # 23
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

We have the same account where our direct deposits go in. I have an excel spreadsheet that details what we are paying that month, as we are working on savings and also paying off CC debt at the same time. Depending on how much money is left over, we get 300 to 340 spending cash every two weeks. That money is put into separate accounts to do what we wish.

This works for us, everything we need is paid for, and it also stops the little bickering fights we started to have regarding who spends what amount on what. For example, he though me getting my nails done every 3 weeks was a waste, while I think the money he throws away on multiples of comic books a week is dumb. So seperate accounts = No bickering. Lol

We only combined accounts once we were married, however.

Post # 24
Member
277 posts
Helper bee

We keep all of our finances separate but have some joint expenses. He pays the mortgage and all utilities and I transfer my half to his account at the end of the month. (It’s amazing to only have to fuss with one home-related transaction per month). Our insurance, cars, gas, cell phones are our individual responsibilities and we each have fallen into the habit of having certain grocery and staples items that we each take ownership of. We had this arrangement when we moved in together with the intention of partially combining finances when we got married, but this works for us and keeps us from fighting about money. We may someday open a joint account for vacation savings or something, but we’re over 35 and have always been independent financially. The thought of sharing a bank account with someone, even as responsible as he is (and even with him being the higher earner) makes me nervous. 

Post # 25
Member
20 posts
Newbee

I’m not one for joint finances and joint bank accounts, so our finances will largely remain separate even after we get married – the only time I anticipate that changing is if we have kids.

We have a house together which is our joint asset, so we pay the mortgage and other house related expenses 70:30, as he owns 70% of the house and I only own 30%

We split bills like power, internet and water etc 50:50 as we each contribute to this

We split groceries 60:40 as he eats more than me, and if he buys himself a “treat” its generally alcohol, which is more expensive than my “treats” which tend to be chocolate

Post # 26
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

It’s interesting all the people that live way below their means! We do but I’ve always seen us in the minority – maybe it’s just the people that want to post or talk about it? We also live in vancouver BC, so cost of a house or renting is sky high – $1,000,000 won’t even get you a home and a one bedroom average rent is $2,200 a month. So lots of people are mortgaged to the hilt unless they bought pre-2005.

Since we are older and live below our means we just are really generous with each other. I’ll say that maybe my husband is more generous than I am – but now that I’ve said that I’m pretty sure he’d say I was really generous too! It’s easy when you’re not stretched too thin ( which we would be if we tried to live in a bigger place!)

Post # 27
Member
4493 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

View original reply
littlecats :  You hit the nail on the head that the people inclined to respond are those that have their finances in order. I know in my group of friends (all educated professional people) we are the only ones with significant savings, despite us not earning more than the others. 

Your area sounds super expensive! Would make it very hard for young people to get ahead in life, I would imagine. 

Post # 28
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We bought a house together before we were engaged (gasp!) and opened a joint account at that point. We both have our full paychecks deposited to the joint checking account, and everything comes from there. 

DH does make more than I do (maybe 30k more per year), but up until recently, he had car + student loan debt while I had nothing. We get an equal amount of misc spending money, and if either of us works overtime we spend it as we wish (within reason of course). We check with each other regarding any purchase over $250. 

Post # 29
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

Hubby makes twice as much as I do, so he pays for all our big expenses and our outside meals (and we eat out quite a lot!). I pay for groceries if I get them myself, he pays for them if we go together, I pay for all our snacks and desserts. We just moved in together and he paid for rent and set up the utilities, but I will take care of future utility bills while he continues to pay for our rent. I guess you can say we split 80/20? 

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