(Closed) How do you split household chores when both H & W work?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Fiance and I are pretty “old school” when it comes to household things.  I do almost all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., but I don’t work.  To me, marriage should be a team effort, with everyone pulling their own weight in one way or another. 

Post # 33
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yikes! It sounds like you guys didn’t live together before you got married?
Also, was any of this covered in your pre-marital counseling (if you did it)?

I hate to be rude, but he sounds like he’s on another planet and not at all in touch with today’s working woman/family unit.

We’ve lived together for about 5 years now, and responsibilities just kind of fell into place—we never really had a discussion about it. We both cook and clean up….but usually not on the same night or else we’d be under each other’s feet. We also both do our own laundry, and I deal with the towels, etc.

We have a cleaning lady come about once a month and do the house thoroughly, and I keep up with it in between. If your budget allows, maybe this is something that you guys look into? I will say that if I were to ask Fiance to vacuum or do some other chore, he would do it without complaint. He doesn’t usually do it on my timeline, but it will get done.

In the summer, we also have a lawn crew come every other week. The cost for both is worth it to us to not have to waste our whole weekend doing chores, when we barely get to see each other as it is. My Fiance works from home and I work about 45 mins-1 hr away, so he does all of the errands (dry cleaning, pharmacy, mailing things, etc).

Post # 34
7646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you wants you to be like his mother and keep everything perfect perhaps you should suggest quitting your job and becoming a full time homemaker? His attitude towards chores sucks.

I am lucky. My Darling Husband does a LOT. We kind of have an understanding that he does dishes and I do clothes, mostly becuase I hate dishes and he is terrible at sorting clothes and remembering them from the washer. Oterhwise, we help each other with the other things. He does most of the cooking, but I always appreciate him for it, and I return the favor at times.

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