(Closed) How do you split up holidays with your families?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How do you split up holidays with your families?
    We do every other holiday. : (42 votes)
    27 %
    We spend all holidays with my family. : (11 votes)
    7 %
    We spend all holidays with his family. : (5 votes)
    3 %
    They live close enough, so we spend them with both. : (64 votes)
    41 %
    We don't celebrate holidays with our families. : (4 votes)
    3 %
    We don't celebrate holidays, period. : (0 votes)
    Other (explain below) : (30 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    in our relationship so far its worked out that we have spent all the summer holidays with his family (memorial, 4th, labor day) and all the winter ones with mine (thanksgiving, christmas and easter). most this works out because my family is closer and its easier to drive to them on major holidays than fly to his. also my family is more centralized than his. and his family has a summer house where all the kids come and stay so its a good way to get together all at once.

    i think this christmas i will have to suck it up and spend it with his family because , obviously, he wants to spend that time with his family too…

    youre right, compromise is a necessary part of a grown up relationship. not having christmas with my family will be tough, but its one of the growing pains of blending families!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    We spend Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with his family and Christday Day with mine. Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and big holidays in his family so that is why we do it that way. Yes, I miss my family on those holidays, but this is the way it works for us and keeps everyone happy.

    By reading your post, I am assuming your families don’t live close to each other and splitting the day would be impossible?

    Post # 5
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Both of our families live far away. We spend every other holiday with them.

    But the sad part is that since my parents live SO far away, we only get to see them on Christmas and now they’ll only get Christmas every other year.

    Your mom just needs to let go. It’ll get easier!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We are hoping to rotate major holidays (i.e. one year we do Thanksgiving with my family & Christmas with his, and vice versa the next year), though, now that we’ve moved this might be a bit more difficult in practice. If we lived within driving distance of both families, this is what we would do.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3969 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yikes. Your mother has to grow up! And realize you have, too. I currently live 100 miles from my SO’s family and 450 miles from my family. So we’re going for Christmas since I get more time off (more time for traveling) and we’re doing Thanksgiving with his family since it’s a shorter break. We’ll probably end up spending other holidays, like 4thof July either with his family or just by ourselves, since neither family has major traditions on those days. It’s just the winter holidays. My mom totally gets it. It’s a long way to travel.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I just saw that you’re not married yet. Before we were married we each went to our own families for holidays.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We will be doing Thanksgiving with his family, and Christmas with mine.  If he doesn’t go along with that, I will do Thanksgiving with his family, and go do Christmas with mine alone.  It’s that important to me!!   But we have talked about it and I keep reminding him…so I think he’ll suck it up and go with me this year!

    Post # 12
    Member
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Thankfully FH’s parents are not big on holidays.  We try to divide them up equally but it’s extra difficult since my parents are divorced and since FH’s parents live closer we tend to spend minor holidays with them.  My mom tends to get less holidays because my dad guilts me into spending them with him since I am his only child and my mother is still raising my little sister.  It’s difficult but if anybody were to compain my response would be that we try to divide fairly but if they’re going to be a butt about sharing then why would we want to spend the holiday with them?

    Post # 13
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It’s really hard to split up holidays!!!! I’ve spent a couple of holidays crying after talking to my parents on the phone. It’s not easy and it’s hard to feel holiday spirited when your Darling Husband or FI’s family celebrates differently, eats different dishes and has other traditions that you’re not apart of yet.

    Hang in there.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2196 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Everyone lives in the same town so we dgo to both families for the holidays.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    This year, Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Next year, Thanksgiving with his family, Christmas with mine. Unless we throw a wrench into it like we did last year and stay home for Thanksgiving and have everyone at our place for Christmas.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Our families live close together so unfortunately that means every holiday we have to drag ourselves to 3 different get togethers. (My mom, his parents, and my dad.)  It’s miserable and I hate it, but if we don’t then someone throws a hissy fit.

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