(Closed) How do you split up holidays with your families?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How do you split up holidays with your families?

    We do every other holiday.

    We spend all holidays with my family.

    We spend all holidays with his family.

    They live close enough, so we spend them with both.

    We don't celebrate holidays with our families.

    We don't celebrate holidays, period.

    Other (explain below)

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Between the 2 of us we have one parent left-my mother.  We stay home for Thanksgiving and head down south to spend Christmas with my family. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    11231 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I chose other because our schedule is complicated lol.

    Thanksgiving – up north with FMIL’s family (we don’t drive), sometimes also with FFIL’s family if they do dinner a different day around here

    Christmas – here with my family and up north with FFIL’s family (they typically do it on different days); we do a little present opening with just the two of us, and then with Future Mother-In-Law

    Post # 34
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    This always stresses me out!!! We live in NC and so does his parents, my parents live in NY. So far we’ve done Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with my family. T-day is his favorite holiday and Christmas is mine so it works out. I’ve also argued we spend all holidays w/ his family as they are so close so I think it equals one large holiday with mine (Christmas). I figure my timeframe on this arrangment will only last so long until his parents complain. But once we have kids I think my parents will just start coming down to NC to spend Christmas with us.

    Post # 35
    Member
    5009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We tried to bring both families together for a couple of years but his parents and mine don’t get on so for the past two years we’ve been doing Christmas eve with his parents and Christmas day either alone (last year) or with my mum (this year). My dad lives in Ibiza and doesn’t want to fly back so we sort of leave him out.

    Post # 36
    Member
    3373 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @alphagam84  We are the exact same way. I’ve argued that I should get Christmas every year with my parents (because they live so far and we see his so often), but he and his family weren’t going for it.

    Post # 37
    Member
    11735 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We live 20 minutes from Fiance parents, 8 hours from mine. 

    Last year: Thanksgiving separate, Xmas with my family

    This year will probably be: Thanksgiving with his family, Xmas separate.

    When we have kids: WHO KNOWS! Most likely something similar.

    We do Easter with his family because they live nearby (we’d do Easter with mine if it happened to coincide with another tripi up there but wouldn’t go out of our way to do Easter there – not really a big holiday in my opinion.)

    Post # 38
    Member
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @MissBoPeep:  this is what i have to look forward to now. yay.

    Post # 39
    Member
    684 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    We spend one Christmas with his family, one with my family, one just the two of us. Every 3rd year we celebrate our own family of two 🙂 We also need a break from travelling at Christmas time. One family lives in the boonies and requires a long treacherous drive in the snow and ice. The other family lives on the other coast and we spend a lot of time in the airport.

    Post # 40
    Member
    10450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We are lucky as all of our families live pretty much in the same city. So we can celebrate all together or bounce back and forth easily. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    3617 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Your mom sounds like my Mother-In-Law. It pisses me off. Poor DH is in the middle. In the beginning of the relationship, I’d just let her get her way and just not go to their family events to attend my own. But after we got engaged I told DH it wasn’t an option for him to skip my family holidays anymore. So since Thanksgiving is a big deal to Mother-In-Law we let her have that day, and the day after is with my parents. So then for Xmas we let my parents pick Xmas Eve or Day and let Mother-In-Law know which day she gets. She gets very upset at this arrangement. Her and DH’s grandma will call him on the day he’s with my family and I to complain about how they miss him and yada yada yada. It pisses me off because instead of spending the 1 holiday with my family DH is now on the phone calming his mom and grandma down. But he tries his best to please everyone. Poor guy….

    Post # 42
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would like to spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine since he isn’t a big holiday person, but it’s easier to fly to his family when we have a big break, so I imagine we’ll be spending Christmas with his family.  We’re probably going to be living about 150 miles from my family and 1500 from his.  All of this, of course, assuming we have the money to fly.

    Post # 43
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We rotate thanksgiving and christmas.  all other holidays are ours.. sometimes we go to one family or the others but there’s nothing set in stone.  We live 40 miles from Fiance parents but over 300 miles from my family.  So it makes it easier as PP said to go the longer distance when there is a longer break.  But we make it work.  My family wasn’t too happy about the alternating but it’s what you have to do when you are in a serious relationship.

    Post # 44
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think we have done a good job at mixing it up for the 8 years we have been together.  We live in the same city as my Fiances family so my family comes down for Thanksgiving and we all spend it together.  Christmas is always up in the air.  I have stayed with him and his family once and he has gone with me to my family once.  All other times we spend Christmas apart but it has never been an issue.

    Post # 45
    Member
    2635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    We do Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other.  Once we have kids, we’ll reconsider because there might be years we don’t feel like traveling a long ways.  As of right now though, the situation works great!

    Post # 46
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    It depends.

    We used to try to split up one day between 2 celebrations, but that got to be too much.  For things like Thanksgiving and Easter, if we go to our hometown my mom usually works around his family, as there isn’t extended family on my side.  We’ll have a Saturday and Sunday or Sunday and Monday celebrations.  We’ve also just spent it with my sister, as she’s nearby.

    For Christmas, it’s Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with his.  We did have issues, as his extended family gets together Christmas Eve and we used to try to do that before dinner but I was treated poorly when we had to take off.  So we gave that up and the first year his family was disappointed, but it’s worked well.

    I’m sure there will be changes in the future for Christmas, as there may come a time when we choose not to travel, but for now it works!

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