(Closed) How do you split up xmas? His fam or yours?

posted 7 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: Where do you spend the holidays

    Always with SOs family

    Always with my family

    Alternating years (one year with SOs` fam, next year with mine)

    Always both

    Other-Please explain

    I like polls!

  • Post # 77
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    We used to live in the same city as my husband’s parents (and same province as his whole extended family), so we usually did Christmas with them – Christmas Eve with his dad and his sister, Christmas Day with his mom, grandma and extended family (like 60 people… ugh), and then a second time with his dad’s family for New Year’s and a dinner New Year’s day with his mom and grandma. My parents lived a 14 hour drive away so we didn’t see them.

    Now we’ve moved to a different country so we’ll do Christmas just with my husband and our daughter. I suspect my Mother-In-Law is intending to visit but so far, no news on that front…

    Post # 78
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    We travel to spend Christmas Eve with my family, a quick breakfast on Christmas day and then we go to his parent’s house to open presents with the immediate family.  Some of his extended family comes for dinner.  All of his extended family in the city gets together on Christmas Eve but there’s no dinner.  We tried going to that, but a relative was really rude to me when we left earlier than everyone else to have dinner with my parents even though it was known ahead of time, so we stopped seeing them that day.

    Post # 79
    5282 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Our plan initially was to alternate holidays (year 1, Chritmas with mine/Thanksgiving with his, and then switch back and forth each year.)

    But, Christmas isn’t a big deal with his family, so now we always do Thanksgiving with his and Christmas with mine, which I love because I would much rather be with my family on Christmas then his. 😉 

    Post # 80
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We do Xmas Eve with his dad’s side every year because they do a big shindig. My parents have started to come to that, too, which is awesome. We then will spend Xmas Day with either my family or his mother’s side, depending on the year. Usually we spend it with whoever didn’t get Thanksgiving that year 🙂 Then we take the 26th off and have a second Xmas with the other side. This year, we’re doing:


    Thanksgiving – His Mom (my family is going to be out of town so that was easy)

    Christmas Eve – His dad (with my parents)

    Christmas Day – His mom 

    26th – my family 

    Post # 81
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We get lucky on X-mas and my family usuall does eve and his does day then we go back to my family for day night.

    Post # 82
    4 posts
    • Wedding: May 2013

    This is our first married Christmas…my family lives five hours away, his lives a town over. I think our plan is to drive over to my family on Christmas Eve, leave around noon Christmas day, and hopefully arrive at his parents’ house around five. Christmas on the road…less than ideal, but everybody wins.

    Post # 83
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    AHHHH, is this thread making everyone else a) so excited for the holidays and b) so anxious because holidays are such a pain to accomodate both families? I can only imagine what it’s like for people who also have divorced families (my BFF visits her mom, her dad, her now ex-stepdad, her husband’s mom, and her husband’s dad. in 2 days. omg.)

    Typically (if DH is off work), my family goes over to my in-laws’ for a big family party (nice to have them all together! and TAMALES!) on Christmas Eve. Then Christmas morning, we go to my family’s house for presents and breakfast, and then to in-laws/grandparents for dinner.

    Last year, since DH worked Christmas Eve and Day, we also threw in a third day (day after Christmas) to have a formal dinner at our house for both of our families.

    View original reply
    @Jw1724:  +1 on having Christmas come to us after babies! Our house is teeny tiny, but I’m determined to make it work. 

    Post # 84
    163 posts
    Blushing bee

    My family lives 1.5 hours north of the Canadian border and SO family lives 2.25 hours south of the Canadian border. Our plan is to do Xmas eve in Canada with my family and drive to his family early on Xmas morning to spend the day there. Fingers crossed the roads aren’t too icy.

    Post # 85
    3571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My husband has the tiniest immidiate family ever — 3 aunts, 3 uncles and his dad.. that is it! No cousins or grandparents & his mom passed away over the summer. Typically we would go to his mom’s in the morning to visit with her & her 2 brothers & their wives (husband’s aunts & uncles).. though since she’s gone we won’t go there this year & I doubt we’ll see those aunts & uncles this year — my husband isn’t really close with them.

    We always have my family over for dinner, and the last 3 years we’ve invited his dad over since he only has 1 sister and brother-in-law.. and that’s worked out well, he’s become friends with my family members & fits right in.

    So with my husbands mom being gone we’ll just spend the whole day at our house & have my family & his dad over for dinner.

    Post # 86
    2195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Every relationship I’ve been in has been both, Christmas eve with mine or his and Christmas with the other. 

    If one of our families lived far away I imagine most of the time we would go to the closest families, and have a special trip once in awhile to the far family. 

    Post # 87
    4044 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @veryberry13:  I am going to spend all the holidays from now on, either with just the two of us, or ay my parents house. Everytime  try to split things up, both families try to guilt trip us. I am no longer interested in trying ito make it work. I figure that I have to live far from family due to his job, so that means he can sacrifice seeing his parents over the holidays.

    Post # 88
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Christmas eve dinner with his mom and her family, and Christmas day/dinner with my family… it works out great!  I have a huge family so my SO’s mom has been thoughtful enough to host everyone on Christmas eve so it doesn’t conflict…

    Post # 89
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It depends really 

    His parents, My SDad and my brother all live in the same city so we tend to do both – or try to. Maybe xmas day with one and Boxing day with the other.

    But we try to spend post christmas/new year with my family in Germany.

    Once we have kids though we will probably spend every other christamas in germany as well


    Post # 90
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee

    The first Christmas we had as a couple we spent separately.

    The second and third we were on holiday (Europe 2011 and Sydney, Australia 2012).

    This year, we’re travelling back home to New Zealand and spending Christmas Eve with SO’s Dad, younger Sister, his Dad’s wife and her son; Christmas Day morning with his Mum and younger sister; then driving 2 hours to my Aunties house for my family Christmas dinner.

    I assume we’ll be following a similar plan each Christmas; if we find it doesn’t work well, I’m not sure what we’ll do, because I really don’t want to not see my Mum, but I’d hate to spend the holidays without my SO…

    Post # 91
    2113 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @veryberry13:  I voted always both, but we’re still working it out. Our families live within 10 minutes of each other. My family always gets together at our house for the holidays. FIs family all live out of state, so it’s just his parents, his sister and him. What we’ve done before is invite the four of them to celebrate with our family. It’s the easiest way. If they don’t want to, then Fiance goes to midnight mass with us, we have Christmas lunch at my place, drive up the road for dinner at his.

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