How do you stay sane when ttc isn't going well…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
4022 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I saw a counselor who specialized in infertility. I know that may not be for everyone,  but it helped me.

Post # 17
Member
14891 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Who says you have to stay “sane”?  Just like when people ask for tips to be positive.. who says you have to stay positive?  Obsessed?  So be it.. .chart, think, track, try.  “Relax” and it’ll happen is a load of bullshit anyways. 

Post # 18
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I cry and slam doors sometimes (ok I only did that once lol). It’s pretty impossible to be calm. I have found that staying busy and going on small vacations have helped me. 

Post # 19
Member
4260 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Take a month off, have sex for fun, don’t if you sare tired and want to sleep, rest, drink wine, whenever you think of ttc and babies just shove it from your mind.  A month break is not the end of the world and can give you perspective.

Post # 20
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

It’s helpful to read this thread. I’ve only been trying for about 6-7 months (went off bc so I don’t really count the 1st month) but this month my period was late for the first time ever and I got so excited…and then disappointed. We have an appt with a fertility specialist next week but I am nervous. I am 37 and concerned it may not be in the cards for us. I don’t think I truly knew how much I wanted it until I thought it may actually have happened. Best of luck to all of you who are trying. My sister had ivf twice and now has 3 beautiful children so I know there is hope and I’m very lucky to be in a state that covers a lot of the cost…

Post # 21
Member
910 posts
Busy bee

I’ve been trying for over 2 years. I’ve been through treatment, had a break, and am now going back. I tried to tell myself it was ok if it didn’t happen and we would just let it happen if it did but now I’m feeling like I really want to try with assistance again. I don’t have any advice but I can commiserate. This month I yelled at my pregnancy tests. Why the hell can’t I just get a second line!! Then I yelled a few more things and basically a ‘screw everyone and everything’ tantrum. I feel slightly better knowing we are going back for help now as it gets lonely and feels so out of control. I feel you bee. 

Post # 22
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I got my BFN yesterday at 12 dpo, so I am out this month. I so wish I could relax and take a break, but my hormone levels will worsen if I am not checking my bloodwork and tweating my meds. I have to schedule bloodwork sometimes 2-3 times a week, so it is almost impossible to be chill about it. I definitely have my terrible days and sad moments.

What HELPS – we have a firm timeline in place and a solid plan B. Once I got my diagnosis, we decided we would actively try and do everything possible for one year. Then we agreed to move ahead with the donor egg route and I’ve made peace with that. My goal at the end of the day is to have a baby – I can’t go through all the emotional pain without the chubby cheeks at the end of the line. So on dark days, I always have the thought that next year we will be moving ahead and pregnant one way or another!

We just got “officially” engaged and some days wedding planning seems like a funny joke compared to TTC, and others a happy escape. Hang in there ladies!

Post # 23
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m in a similar boat. I have a son, but have been trying for baby 2 for a long time now. What is helping me is everything PPs have said. All of it. One month I went super dramatic, cried a lot. Picked fights with Darling Husband and slammed doors. Another month I threw a pity party and binged on all the ice cream and cake and gained 5lbs. Next month I joined a gym and discovered I love Zumba (haha) and it helped me take my mind off of things for a little bit. 

We’ve been taking more vacations. I mourn the loss of my “ideal age gap”. Then spin it and decide it’ll be nice that DS is older and can be more helpful. Sometimes I convince myself I was only meant for one and love on my son extra hard. Retail therapy can help. Etc. 

This month we decided to NTNP because I’m starting a new job soon. It’s been nice not to obsess over timing and temperatures every day. But I still know when I ovulated, and I still know when I can POAS. It is what it is. 

Hoping some solidarity helps. Good luck to you. *hugs*

Post # 25
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m totally where you are right now.  TTC with unexplained infertility (well that’s what it is called….I’m 42….I call it dried up egg syndrome).  I’m 12 dpo, on clomid this cycle, and I’ve tested 3 times.  AF isn’t due until Friday but I’ve tested THREE times because I read about all these women and their faint positives before now.  I constantly read boards, check symptoms, and compare my bbt chart to others over and over.  I also have a generalized anxiety disorder which makes it worse!  I feel your pain!

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