Post # 1
Ok so I am having guilt about not being able to include all of my friends in my wedding. I’m one of those girls that has 2 sisters, 1 best friend from childhood, 4 friends from college and 5 friends from high school…..all who I see and hang out with on a fairly regular basis and I love dearly!
I had a hell of a time picking bridesmaids and I can’t stop feeling bad when I talk to my friends and they aren’t involved! I have settled on my two older sisters and my best friend since I was a baby. That’s 3 on my side, while FI has 4 on his side. I’m ok with the lop sidedness, because honestly, how was I supposed to pick just one more person!?
I felt like I either had to stop at 3 or have all 12 which is riduclous for me. I just feel so bad because I was in one of my HS friend’s wedding last summer, and I was just asked to be in one of my college friend’s wedding!
I still need to pick personal attendants but I still have 9 people to think about! AHH! How do I make them feel special? Or do I have to just give that up? None of them have said anything to me about feeling bad, but I certainly do 🙁
Anyone deal with this???
Post # 3
You should feel very blessed to have so many close friends! For those you can’t include in the actual wedding party I would just make sure to let them know how you still value their opinions when it comes to making decisions. Take them dress shopping with you, or create a Pinterest board they can all contribute ideas to. Let them know how happy you are to get to share your special day with them in some way.
Post # 4
I had the same guilt feelings as you – I have two sisters, a close female cousin, my husband has two sisters, an older neice, and two best friends from high school, so 8 total! I ended up asking my younger sister, my cousin, and my younger SIL to stand up with me.
Could you have the others be in charge of the guest book, gift table, etc.? While it may not seem as “important or special,” it’s still a way to incorporate them on your big day.
Post # 5
@laurel946: What on earth is a personal attendant? And honestly I think you made the right call by only including sisters and a friend since birth. No hurt feelings if the college/high school friends don’t feel like they were personally excluded!
Post # 6
@laurel946: When my highschool bff who I love to death didn’t ask me to be in her wedding I felt a tiny sting. Yeah I would have liked to. But she only had one bridesmaid and it was her cousin and I understand that she’s family. It didn’t ruin our relationship or anything. Real friends understand.
Post # 7
By keeping it to family and a friend you’ve known from birth you’re being really fair. There are plenty of ways to involve them in your day and the events in the lead up to the day.
Post # 8
Hurt feelings are probably unavoidable, but you’re picking the three people you’ve known the longest. Hopefully your other friends will understand. I think it would be worse if you picked someone from among your high school and college friends just to make the numbers even, because then it would be all, “Why her and not me?”