(Closed) How do you stop momzilla?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I hate to say it but can you go for some tough love? You’ve tried talking to her and she’s unresponsive. I would inform her that you do not need her insults or put downs and that she is creating a very unpleasant experience for you! Let her know that you want her to be a part of everything but that if she keeps being crazy you are going to handle everything yourself without her.

Post # 5
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

What type of wedding are you having? You said it’s against the norm… do you think she is trying to be over-involved to control it back to “norm”. My mom jumped on board when we told her we were doing Halloween, but others in the family have been “offering help” to get things back toward traditional…

Post # 7
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think that sounds lovely!!

Post # 8
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree I think it sounds awesome. You should definitely tell her it’s your vision, explain to her that you want it to be memorable, and the feelings you want your guests to have. Explain to her why you chose the things you would like, hopefully that helps.

Post # 9
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MrsPinkPeony: I agree. I would tell her “I want you to be involved mom, but if you can’t support my decisions then I’ll have no choice but to make everything a surprise for you on the day of my wedding. So, get on board or get off the train.”

Post # 10
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

move over, mom!  i wanna come!

Post # 11
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Your plans sound lovely.   Your mom sounds just like my mom.  Has she always been like that?

I understand your frustration but my mom has been over-controlling and critical for as long as I can remember.  She was her WORST when I had my first child!  I could do nothing right, she really wrecked my confidence as a mother for a while there!  I am sad in some ways because she’s not interested in my wedding but then again I am at the same time thankful!

I have been hearing for years that I do things “just to be different” and “why can’t you be normal” and then my son (I have an 18 year old) is told that he is “brainwashed by your mother” because he dares to think for himself!  It’s crazy.  Crazier still is that she will then turn around and brag to others about how I’m a great mom or talk about how clever or resourceful I am.  Yeah so which is it?? Wink

You have to put your foot down.  Maybe write her a letter.  My mom does better when she has time to let things sink in and isn’t busy trying to react to me or come back with a retort to whatever I’ve said.   Of course nothing really works with mine long term.  I hope yours is not that way!

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