(Closed) How do you tactfully ask someone to watch/secure the gift table?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 17
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Personally, I would ask a close friend if they would do me the honor of guarding my gift/card table.  🙂  Most people are happy to help out, especially if you are really sweet and let them know it would be a favor to you and you’d owe them one.

I do recommend a card box of some sort.  You can make one cheap that is really pretty and fits your theme.  I’ve seen some awesome ones for under $20.  That way they are all contained and no chance of them falling off the table or anything.

We were lazy and just wrapped a box with a hole cut in the top in gold patterned wrapping paper.  We justified it as our rings are gold so it fit in that way lol.  Luckily we weren’t worried about anything happening to them because we had a very small wedding of close friends and family.

However I wish I would have locked up the left over ham my friend made special just the way I liked it.  My best friend’s DIL ran off with it, and best friend didn’t know until she was waving goodbye and running off with it.  She was there to help my best friend decorate and hung out in the house during ceremony/reception except to eat (so it’s not like she didn’t get fed!… and my friend paid her lol).  No accounting for people and what they do!

Post # 18
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@mousepeach:  honestly, if I was a guest and the bride asked me to guard the card table I’d be pretty pissed! You’d feel like you had to say yes, but in reality, I don’t want to spend the whole night looking at a table…I’m there as your guest, to share in your celebrations, not sit and guard a table!

Post # 20
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@mousepeach:  the point is there’s no tactful way to do something that isn’t tactful… the appropriate way to handle this situation is to hire someone to do it, or do it yourself. As you said yourself, it would be giving someone a “job.” Nobody wants to spend a wedding reception guarding a gift table and not get remunerated for it – that’s not just a little inconvenience for someone, but a large one – and when we invite guests to our celebration, we should always keep in mind that they are our guests.

Post # 21
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t ask.  Pay someone if you want them to do a job.

As a guest while I would do my best, I would feel terrible if I went to the toilets for a minute, and came back to find these crappy cousins had stolen something.

I guess it begs the question, why are you inviting anyone who you think will steal from you?  Family harmony is one thing, but I don’t understand how anyone would be upset that you aren’t inviting thieves.

Post # 22
Member
12241 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mousepeach:  Ask the venue for an extra employee to stand next to the table. Then while people are toasting/eating/whatever, have another employee start loading gifts into someone’s car (whoever will be taking the presents home). Preferably before people get back up to dance!

Post # 24
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@mousepeach:  I did read it thank you.  And if you don’t want to justify don’t.  But then don’t complain that people are asking questions to better try to help you.

Good luck.

Post # 25
Member
2466 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mousepeach:  Im in your exact situation…..2 cousins (one from moms side, one from dads) who have both been in serious trouble with stealing etc….and both wouldnt hesitate to take from family (one was caught with her friend trying to steal out of our grandmother, and her sisters (my great aunts) purses when they were here visiting. My mom had my uncle and his “children” over and she asked to show her friend our upstairs….. ya cause that wasnt obvious)

anyways…. these 2 invites are also complicated (I dont want them coming, but I was guilted into it)

Long story short….I am having a card box. I made it myself and its really pretty, although I am having an italian wedding and thats basically ALL they give you is money (not a lot of gifts in boxes). My Maid/Matron of Honor is a cousin and she knows the situation…so Im planning on having each of my maids “man the table” for just 10 min each. I dont want to stick one person there and not be able to mingle so I have 6 Bridesmaid or Best Man, and they all said they wouldnt mind.

Once the cocktail hour is done, the hotel actually has a “gift procedure” because of these situations lol… they have a house safe….so when everyone files in to take their seats… the card box and gifts will be brought to where-ever….counted out how many cards/how many gifts, and the person who signs off on it gives their ID….and they are given a key, and the front desk has a key. NO ONE not even me or Fiance can get in there, the only person is the one who matches the iD and produces the key!! So basically the next morning, or night of… i’ll get a Bridesmaid or Best Man who is staying over at the hotel to sign, and we’ll go together to pick it all up.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 27
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@mousepeach you asked for how to tactfully ask someone to do something. I gave my opinion that I would be pissed if someone asked me to do that. Hence, in my opinion there isn’t a tactful way to ask. Again, my opinion, if you want to ignore, ignore it.

Post # 28
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OP – I was worried about the same thing, not that I don’t trust my guests but you never really know…

 

I just poilitely (and quietly) asked my brother-in-law to keep an eye on the gift table, which included our birdcage card holder.  I made time to talk to him at the rehearsal dinner and explained the situation. 

 

He understood and agreed to keep an eye on it during dinner.  Then as soon as the party started he took the birdcage off the table and put it under the headtable.  We figured this was better than putting it in a car in the parking lot…then my parents took the gifts/cards home when they left. 

 

Hiring securty seemed a little overkill in our case and because we knew he was a designated driver, we had no worries about asking for his help.  It really wasn’t a big deal and he was happy to help.

 

Post # 29
Member
2466 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@mousepeach:  it is pretty sweet! I was worried about what would happen because our cocktail hour is in a diff space then the reception….so I was like ahhhh I dont want to leave all our stuff out in the open where any hotel guest can walk in???

The card box will be brought back (empty) and put on a table inside the reception area by the cake or something just in case theres anyone who forgets until later. But no one will know its empty lol.

 

Post # 30
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Is there a wedding coordinator or other staff at the venue who could watch the table? We didn’t have an issue with theft but our coordinator offered to camp out by the table to keep an eye on it. Her official reason was to keep it neat and to tape cards to gifts so they didn’t get separated.

If that’s not an option then maybe ask a family memeber who knows the situation and thus would be more willing to help out (and know who to watch without them being pointed out)? A simple “You know cousin A dn B are coming, yeah? Well you know how they can be. Would you mind helping keep an eye on the cards?” Maybe even ask several people so you don;t just have 1 person playing security.

Other than that maybe get a birdcage? They look prettier than a box and serve to keep things where they belong.

 

Post # 31
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think placement of the table can do alot to deter this. We went to a wedding this last weekend, and the set up was something like this, with the table right outside of the door to the reception. There were always people walking back and forth, and using the photobooth nearby. With all of that traffic, stealing something without someone noticing would be next to impossible.

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