(Closed) How do you tell people that only relative kids are invited to the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i would just be straight with people. tell them excatly what you’ve just told us.

  • it’s your dream wedding location 
  • tell them you are only having 100 guests 

i would hate to be bumped from someones wedding as a couple because some one insitsted they bring there two children. 

Post # 4
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

You could easily say: No children other than those included in wedding party.

If anyone makes an issue out of it, let them know of your space and budget limitations, and that while it was a difficult decision, you had to prioritize adults over children.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My Fiance and I just made our final decision about children the other night – I wanted to invite them all, he wanted to invite none – and we came to a compromise. Kids can come if they’re family and if they’re old enough to know how to behave. To make sure people don’t bring their children, we’re addressing the invitations specifically to “Mr. and Mrs. Lastname”, not to the family. We’ve also got a spot on the RSVP where we indicate how many seats their family will have at the reception. For friends with kids, we’re just putting “2”.

I don’t know if this strategy will work. There may still be some extra munchkins who show up.

Post # 6
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just don’t put kids names on the invitations. If you find out someone is planning on bringing theres, call them and explain what you just told us.

Post # 7
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We had to do the same thing. I have a really large family, and my mother insisted that we invite all of my cousins’ children. However, our venue only accommodates 100 people total, and we could not invite all of the friends we wanted if we also included their children. So we decided to limit children to just family.

To get this message across, for people whose children were not invited, we put just the couple’s name on the invitation. Two couples asked us whether their kids were invited, and we said, “Unfortunately, our venue space is limited, and we could not include children outside of our relatives.” They seemed cool with it.

Post # 8
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

You can;t without offending people since it is rude. Guests will wonder why someone else’s kids can be there and their’s can’t.

Post # 9
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

On my invitations I stated “Adult only reception”. I have children in my bridal party, so of course they’ll be there, and if I want to include nieces and nephews or children of really close friends, I’ll add their names to the invitations. For the most part, if I’m close enough to a person to want their kids at my wedding, I will be able to tell them it’s okay to bring them in person. But to be on the safe side, I’m glad I put it on my invites.

Post # 10
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think this is rude at all.  I think it’s fairly standard that children who are in the family (who are usually flower girls and ring bearers) are the only ones invited.

I would just not put other childrens’ names on the invitations.  If someone is rude enough to ask if they can come or puts their names down, call and just say that only children in the wedding party/family will be there because of size constraints.

Post # 11
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Just be straight forward. If they decide not to come then that is their decision and just express to them that you are sorry and you will miss them.

Post # 12
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Where I come from it’s a custom to add a simple ‘No kids’ in the invite. Everyone gets it.

Post # 14
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@chowmeingrl: That sounds perfect – pretty much what I’m doing – let us know how it works out!

Post # 15
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We faced a similar dilemma.  Our venue automatically charges $29 + tax and gratuity for a chicken finger meal and a soda package for any kid 2 or older.  When we added it up, if everyone brought their kids, we would have 30-something toddlers and young kids at our wedding.  I don’t mind a few children at a wedding, but that would just be nuts (not to mention expensive)!

We put only the adults’ names on the invitation and we also put on our reception insert w/ the invitations “Adult guests are welcome to join us for dinner, cocktails and dancing…” 

I STILL had several people ask me if they could bring their kids.  I just said “No, unfortunately our venue is not child-friendly.  If you need help finding a babysitter, I’ll do my best to get you in touch with someone.  If you can’t make it, we understand.”

I once heard someone say that the people that make the biggest stink about not being allowed to bring kids are the ones whose kids are the most difficult/badly behaved.  I’ve found this to be SO true, and I’ve had no problem saying no to those people!

Post # 16
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

You have to say it just like it is. Sorry, due to capacity limits no children are permitted unless they are a blood relative. 

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