(Closed) How do you tell someone no without being a Bi***?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
898 posts
Busy bee

I would just tell them exactly what you told us.

If you have your parents’ support, have them help you out. Tell them you need them to back you up on your decision. Sometimes it’s easier to tell cousins or whoever that you’re not choosing them by having some of the elders spread the word. If that doesn’t work, definately just let them know that these 3 girls have been with you through thick and thin, and that puts them in Bridesmaid or Best Man position.

Sometimes it’s hard not to hurt feelings, but being a family member does not guarantee anyone a bridal party spot!

Post # 4
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree.

If they ask, I’d say that there is an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen and that it’s already set.  Smile and be sweet.  Say nothing after that. 

If there are positions of honor, then let them do that.  I had cousins who were not terribly close but know a few wanted to be in my wedding when I married my xh.  I gave them very nice positions of honor (and some nice corsages..roses in it) for them too. Very happy relatives!

Post # 5
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree – just politely say no. It sounds like you’ve got a small-ish bridal party, and that can be a good reason too, if you need one. You can tell them you don’t want a massive party with 10 people on each side, so you stuck with the friends that have been with you most through the years. bellenga gave some good advice as well – maybe there are smaller jobs they can do so they still take part in the wedding. Good luck!

Post # 6
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

First of all — no one should be asking to be a bridesmaid, this is simply rude.  I agree with the other posters that you need to politely say no.  Be careful with the smaller jobs because some people feel like they are being asked to work at your wedding when assigned a job to do.  I had my two sis-in-laws in charge of the gifts and guestbook, but they offered to do it for me. However, I was told by other family members that they thought it was horrible that I had my sis-in-laws "working" at my wedding. Ugh.  Anyway — it is your wedding and you want the people you are closest to in your wedding party, so stick to your guns and learn the art of politely saying no — because down the road you are going to have to do this for other wedding related issues as well.

 Good luck!

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