(Closed) How do your Love Languages match or differ from each other?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
8021 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My DH is physical touch, while I am acts of service. I try extra to give him a back rub or hold his hand. He knows the way to my heart is emptying the trash or the dishwasher.

Post # 3
2596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

My Fiance is physical touch and I’m quality time. We struggle to understand each other’s languages. I’m not a touchy feely person, and he likes alone time. Every now and then I have to call a time out and we both realize that we need to be more receptive. We aren’t perfect, but we love each other. 🙂

Post # 4
81 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
kcoast:  honestly i think I am all 5 lol, but if I had to pick one its Quality time. My BF is affirmation I noticed he loves when I appreciate him whenever he does something. I always show my appreciation to him. I enjoy seeing him happy 🙂

Post # 5
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

We are both physical touch. 

I love the 5 love languages. I think they can apply to friendships too. 

Post # 6
2816 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

He’s a tie for words of affirmation and physical touch. He loves being all mushy and I’m not really like that at all so it’s kind of hard for me to reciprocate in those ways. I try to cuddle more and play with his hair and compliment him though and he definitely notices/appreciates it!

I’m a tie for quality time and gifts. Quality time is lacking quite often since he’s pretty into video games 😳 but gifts he’s got covered recently… I’m feeling very spoiled by his generosity post wedding.

Post # 7
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

The love languages are interesting because thinking about them can turn you on to not just your and your SO’s preferred methods of receiving affection, but the way your SO shows affection that might not be on your radar because it’s not your preferred method.

We’re both acts of service and quality time, but physical touch is more important to my Fiance than it is to me. I’m an introvert and love my alone time, but we like to schedule time together. We miss each other when our schedules get hectic and we’re like ships passing in the night even though we live in the same house.  

Post # 8
11528 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My DH’s love language is acts of service. My love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. Aaaaand never the twain shall meet, haha.

I was exceedingly, deeply disappointed early in my marriage when I realized that I wanted words of affirmation from and quality time with my husband, and I get very little of either. However, my DH, who does the grocery shopping, always makes sure that I have a hefty supply of decaf K-cups for our Keurig and that my car is well maintained, LOL. Those are the kinds of things that he loves to take care of to show me that he loves me.

The man is never so happy with me as when I am doing an act of service, such as helping him with yard work (something I absolutely hate to do) or cleaning the house. Those are the things that speak love to him.

Post # 9
169 posts
Blushing bee

Mine is physical touch, and his is words of affirmation.

He does VERY well at tending to mine. Gives me massages, plays with my hair, holds hands and/or cuddles almost every night.

I feel like I struggle more to tend to his… Affirmations just don’t seem to come naturally to me. They sound fake coming out most of the time, but I do try and am always working on becoming better.

Post # 10
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m very lucky–we both are Words of Affermation and Physical Touch. It makes life so much easier when you have the same Love Languages! 

Post # 11
4758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mine depends on what I’m not getting much of lately! Words of Affirmation is always one of my top languages, though, and DH is pretty good at fulfilling that need. DH is Acts of Service – and the longer I’m with him, the more that has become a language I “speak” because I recongize what he does as a sign of love.

Post # 12
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My primary is Acts of Service, his primary is Words of Affirmation. We both share Physical Touch as our secondary.   It’s works out well, because when we first started trying to adapt, physical touch is what we heavily relied on, while we got adjusted to each other’s primary love languages. 

Post # 13
54 posts
Worker bee

My love language is pretty much a tie between Physical Touch & Words of Affirmation, whereas SO’s is mostly Acts of Service. I feel that I fulfill his needs really well, especially after realizing that this is how he shows and receives love, and over the years it’s become more natural to me, like my tertiary language 🙂

However, my SO still has trouble with tending to my needs, as he’s not very affectionate or mushy by nature with his words or touch.. This is likely to do with his upbringing, having very traditional parents who spoke more words of critique rather than words of encouragement, and definitely were not very touchy feely. I love him so much, but I just wish he’d be more receptive…

Post # 14
22 posts
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
miijoo:  I am in the same boat! My love languages are tied between physical touch & words of affirmation, and my FI’s are mainly quality time, but a close second was acts of service. 

His parents are not affectionate at all, I can count on my hands the number of times I’ve seen them kiss over the last 3 years, and I’ve never seen them be physically affectionate in any other way. His family aren’t an affectionate bunch, nor do they really give a lot of encouragement; I feel like it’s mostly criticism, as you said. It’s very strange when you haven’t come from that type of family!

Some days I can recognize the “time” and “acts” that he does to show me he loves me, but it is very hard when I want some inkling that he actually wants to be physically close to me! It’s tough when you’re not the same languages sometimes! 

Post # 15
22 posts

We share the same top two. Our primary love language is words of affirmation, followed closely by physical touch. We feel so lucky that we share the same languages naturally, but even if his love language were different than mine, I would still do anything to make him feel loved. I am so in love with him. 🙂

Not engaged yet, but he’s been planning something… It’s so hard for him to keep things from me! Haha. I know he has the ring! A proposal is definitely coming soon, but I don’t know exactly when/where/how. I’m so excited! Any day now…

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