Post # 76
If you can, definitely definitely definitely don’t ask him for money. Borrow from a friend, your parents, the bank, sell your stuff but DONT go to him for money. He will know it’s just an attempt to reestablish contact and to have “something” of his.
Don’t do it Bee.
Post # 77
Well he lived with you already, without being married, so he knows what being married to you would be like . He probably felt after 5 years under the same roof there were no surprises or mystery left.
I’m sure he loves you and you guys were great together. But maybe he just wants to start fresh and have that new, exciting feeling again. Maybe, at least with this guy, it wasnt the greatest idea to live together all these years. He’s been there, done that, had all the benefits of marriage with you and now he’s lost interest.
Maybe it’s a big blessing that his character is revealed before a wedding rather than after.
Post # 78
MrsHarryDresden: I can’t do any of those things. In the break up he told me to let him know if I needed any more money to get myself a place to let him know.
I’d really rather never speak to him again.
Post # 79
footprints: First of all, I’m sorry this has happened to you. Sadly, he probably wasn’t happy for a long time and just couldn’t take it anymore. He broke it off because the relationship wasn’t healthy or happy for him. For his own reasons, he fell out of love, and as painful as that is, you are better off in the long run. No one should spend the rest of their life living in an illusion of happiness. Better to find someone who is ready to love you as you should be loved. Best of luck to you, and I hope you have support from your loved ones.
Post # 80
footprints: I feel for you and i am currebtly living this. Except my fiancé of six years broke up with me five weeks ago. We own a house together that we spent a year and a half custom building and I paid a lot of money towards (still am). I moved out and he is living in the house with our car in denial being selfish. Anyhow, I will sadly be tie to him for months while we try and sell the house we built for our life together. Right. I was also fully blindsided mine is distraught and seeking therapy isn’t sure he made the right choice.
Anyhow, i support the no contact method (if you are lucky enough to be able to). And i also believe things do happen for a reason. You want someone who will fight for you, not walk away. Hold your head high. We will make it through this better. I am 31 for the record and he is 40. Literally lost it at 40.
Post # 81
Yeah, so he cheated. He stupidly left out the V-Day card he got from his whore whilst I had to go pick up some stuff from the house.
Post # 82
footprints: Ouch…. I was really hoping that wasn’t the case. Does knowing this make it easier (good riddance to a douche, at least now you have your answers) or harder (now questioning everything, feeling betrayed)?
Post # 83
🙁 well look on the bright side, if you got married to him, you will be going through a divorce right now and if you guys had a child, you still have to see him and maybe your child’s step mom would have been the ” whore” and putting your child to sleep.
consider it as a gift, that he broke it off.
Post # 84
Well. According to his best friend my ex told him that nothing happened whilst we were together. So I don’t know if that means he was emotionally unfaithful or he literally met her immediately after we broke up. But put it this way in the card she wrote about it being their first Valentine’s Day together and and how she hoped for many more. I wouldn’t put that in a card o someone I’ve just started seeing, so either it’s been going on a while or she’s falling hard already.
He still hasn’t told the rest of his friends or his family though. He must be ashamed if he’s keeping it a secret. I feel sorry for her because she’s either a massive rebound or she’s with a known cheater and he’ll probably do the same to her. I shouldn’t have called her a whore, but I was really mad when I wrote that.
Ugh, just ugh. I don’t want a man who will throw in the towel so easily after 7 years. Fuck him.
Post # 85
SoonAsYouCan: Both really.
I mean a few weeks ago something clicked for me and I felt like I was done, so it doesn’t hurt as much as it would have done.
But it says a lot about him whatever the case is as he either lied to my face repeatedly and is a weak ass ‘man’ or he can’t give our relationship the respect to mourn and jumps straight into a new one. I hope she knows he’s just transferring his feelings for me on to her.
Alanis Morrisette wrote the perfect song about this – You Oughta Know.