Post # 1
Over the weekend my boyfriend and I had a conversation about how long it is “usual” for a couple to date before getting engaged, and it’s become a point of contention. He looks to his friends who started dating after college (and stuck it out through law school/med school, relocations cross-country from one another, and waiting to get settled into a proper job in the same city) and where therefore dating for many, many years by the time they were in a good place to get engaged.
My argument is that a very long relationship might be the norm for his peers who started dating at a younger age, but it’s also not unusual for slightly older couples (late 20’s and up) who are well-settled into their respective lives and careers to settle down together more quickly.
So I put it out to the hive: for those who started dating after age 25, how long were you in a relationship before getting engaged?
Post # 3
I wasn’t 25 when we started dating I was actually 24 or about to be and we were dating for 3 years before we got engaged and nearly 4 years before we got married.
Post # 4
I was 27, he was 30. We’ve both been married before, have houses, jobs, and kids. We dated 3 months before he proposed. We didn’t have time to date and fool around. When we knew – we knew and it just happened. At this point in our lives, we’re not going to spend time messing around and waiting.
Post # 5
I have heard people make this argument, that once you’re older, you know more what you want and settle into a relationship more quickly. I have several friends who have met their partners in their early 30’s and moved in together/got engaged/married within a year or so. My friends who got married younger seemed to be together for longer periods of time before they took those steps.
In our case, we started dating in November 2005 (I was 27, he was 30), got engaged in April 2008 (I was 30, he was 32.5) and married in May 2009 (31, 33.5). I think we’re a little slower than the average couple in general, especially because we knew each other for 9 years before we even started dating!
Post # 6
I think you are onto something here. The business of settling down in one’s life is often a reason (sometimes excuse) for delaying marriage. Neat question!
Post # 7
I’m 29 and Fi is 31. We dated 1 yr and 4 months before the proposal! We both were in long term relationships before us and just “knew” when we got together!
Post # 8
We were 23 when we started dating, and got engaged 44 almost 45 months later (May 2005-Feb 2009). During that time we lived in 3 different countries! I’ll be 28 and he’ll be 27 next August when we get married!
Post # 9
we were 34 and 35 when we started dating. We talked online fro three months. Had our first date in Feb. 2008 and got engaged in November 2008. We are getting married in October 2009.
Post # 10
We waited quite a bit before getting married to get to know each other and make sure we were right for each other. We dated for about three years before he proposed and waited about a year before we got married. I think it was perfect because nothing felt rushed. We took our time, which I think was worth it since the divorce rate these days is so high.
But I didn’t start dating him till I was 27. I think it was perfect though because I finished school, I was set in my career, and I know what I wanted in life. I think that if it was years earlier, I think I would have had a different mindset and different goals than I do now.
Post # 11
I was 27 and he was 31 when we started dating. We met online, emailed and called for about a month then we met in person. 10 months later we were engaged. We just knew!
Post # 13
We’d been dating Since Oct 2005, engaged June 2008, married Oct 2009 (four year anniversary) Im 29, he’s 39 and 25/35 when we started dating. did LDR for a year.
Post # 14
why 25 though? honestly i think 25 is still pretty young to get married after a short courtship, but it depends on the relationship. i’m also in my 30’s so 25 seems young to me in retrospect.
Post # 15
@evahesse, 25 years is somewhat arbitrary, but the thought was that typically someone would be at least a few years into their careers and somewhat established. And, well, I’m 25. 🙂
Post # 16
i guess i am the only one for this poll…lol…I was 25 when we first started dating ..he proposed last xmas eve ..and now i am 31 🙂 and he will b 40 .Course i guess i should point out…that i was married Before ..when i was 22 …lol