(Closed) how does the dress-gift work?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll:
    BM pay for their own dress, bride buys them gifts : (16 votes)
    50 %
    Bride pays for BM dress, as their thank you gifts : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Bride pays for BM dress, and additional thank you gifts : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Bride has the right to specify color and style : (13 votes)
    41 %
    Whoever pays can specify the style, possibly color too : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1937 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’ve never had a bride pay for my bridesmaid dress in any wedding I have been in. But, I would rather the bride pay for the dress (if she is financially able) than receive presents from the bride.

    Post # 4
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I have 2 BM’s and a Maid/Matron of Honor. I am getting them gifts and they are paying for their dresses.

    I am giving my BM’s some choices so I told them color (blue, but they can pick whichever blue they want, with 1 exception) and that I would like them all to be the same length (right below the knee).

    Regarding the color, I don’t mind if all dresses are the same color or if all dresses are different colors, but if 2 dresses are the same color, and one is different, the person with the different color has to be my Maid/Matron of Honor (because if any of my girls get to stand out, it’s her). I don’t want my Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man to be in the same color, and one Bridesmaid or Best Man in a different color.


    Post # 5
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I would love it if I could afford to pay for my girls’ dresses, shoes, and hair… but I cannot. They are paying for their own (although I didn’t make them get their hair done… they all chose to), which I think is the norm. 

    I am buying them gifts… but it isn’t really tit for tat. YOu buy a dress so I buy a gift. I think I’d get them a gift regardless to thank them for their love and support. 


    ETA: re the dresses. I had final veto power but I let them pick the dresses. I told them that I wanted them to be champagne, gold, or blue, and I wanted them to all be the same or similar. I went shopping with two of them and they fell in love with a dress and asked if each of the three bms (1 moh 2 bm) could wear the same dress in 3 different colors (my wedding colors, blue gold and green). The fabrics looked great together and they were happy– so that was that. 

    Post # 6
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Sometimes I think this might be a regional difference — I had never heard of a bride buying her BMs their dresses until I started reading the weddingbee boards, and realized that many brides think the bride should or must do so.  It’s just fine to ask the girls to pay for their own dresses, and to choose at least the color, if not the style as well.  But since they’re paying, make sure you take into account their budgets, and try to find something reasonable.  I let my gals pick whatever dresses they wanted, with only a family of colors and a length as guides.  That way they could pick something that flatters them, that they can wear again, and that fits their budget.  But then again, I love that mismatchy look, and I know not all brides do.  Just be considerate of their body types and wallets, and you’ll be fine!

    Post # 7
    16195 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I can’t afford to buy dresses for my six BMs, but they are all expecting to buy their own dresses. That said, with their help, I am going to look for something affordable that they are all comfortable in. Easier said than done, I’m sure, but I’m a little too into symmetry and whatnot to let them all pick their own (non-matching). Although I love the look of others who do that!

    Post # 8
    5889 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    as a bridesmaid, i would FAR prefer to get some sort of contribution towards the cost of my dress than a material present.

    The topic ‘how does the dress-gift work?’ is closed to new replies.

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