(Closed) How does this letter to SIL sound?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 1
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Edited, since I decided to try and talk to her in person 🙂

 

Thanks guys!

Post # 3
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think everything you say is great. BUT I would still push to say it in person. The problem with letters is that there is no way to convey tone, and if your sister-in-law thinks that you hate her, she might read a really negative tone in your letter. I know that you put the smiley faces in there to convey that you are being friendly, but someone who is trying to read it negatively will interpret them as passive-aggressive. Sometimes with written letters, you can’t win.

With an in-person conversation, you could control the tone. I would advise it.

Post # 4
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010
Post # 4
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mile end: The question is, how do I initiate an in-person convo (she lives 2 hours away)? Just call or e-mail her and say I want to get together to talk?

I worry if I call her, she’ll want to talk on the phone and I SUCK at phone convos.

 

ETA: I’m also worried in person things might get heated.

Post # 5
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Treasure43: Errr… hmm. I think you’re right, I would call or email her and ask her to come out for coffee/dinner/shopping. I might not say “we have to talk” because that has all kinds of negative implications (like how it’s the preface to every bad conversation ever, haha). Just ask her out for a get-together, then bring it up.

The other problem with sending a letter is that it is out of your control if she reacts badly. Whereas if she reacts badly in person, at least you have a chance to explain yourself.

Post # 6
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mile end: That’s a good idea. I guess I could offer to drive up and have coffee or something with her. I’m worried she’ll think that’s suspicious since we NEVER talk, but you’re right…in person is best.

Post # 8
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

If she asks why, just tell her you want to clear the air and get to know her better, away from the rest of the family. Be cheery,and she should realize that you don’t mean anything negative by wanting to meet with her

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree that saying these things in person would be much more effective

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