(Closed) How does your SO romance you?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Thanks for the post!  I keep telling Darling Husband that maybe I would feel more “into it” if he would be romantic. 

Post # 4
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Mrs. Gremmlin: I dont know who you are talking to, but no one I know actually gets “romanced” by their SO! I think my husband has only ever planned one completely surprise date. We’ve been together for 5.5 years and I’ve told him in the past that he needs to be more romantic, but he just doesn’t get it! The whole surprise vacation thing would wow me, but so would him on a weeknight saying “Lets go out to dinner and a movie”. The thing he does the most is on a random weeknight will tell me to get dressed to go out and we’ll go out to dinner or the movies.

But for me, romance is more about the little things like him picking up on how I’m feeling and doing something nice. Last night I had my mind on a lot and we went on a long walk and when we got home he made me a PB & Honey sandwich and got me a glass of milk. It was a simple act of kindness, but that made all the difference.

Post # 6
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Mrs. Gremmlin: Haha!  I tell Darling Husband, you want sex, I want a massage.  So…have at it and we’ll both be happy.  Doesn’t happy very often though.  I’m not saying I want him to go all out, I would just like a little thought to be put into it.

Post # 7
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m easy. All he needs to do is clean the living room, pick up his bath towel, walk the dog and order dinner and I’m ready to roll.

Or tequila. Yeah, tequila just about does it. Sheesh, I guess we’re not a very sexy-time romantic couple are we?

Post # 8
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@soon2bhis: yes! That is usually our trade too 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011
Post # 10
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our society has gone to instant cheap selfish crap! oh the days of a chivalrous man whose mind was focused on whoooing a woman 😉

I think there are a few books on how to gain finesse and work a woman right. Since he probably wasn’t raised up or exposed to romantic ideals , you will need to tell him about what it is you need. Hopefully, he will grow to enjoy it and realize that ever gets satisfied and is happy in the end.

I know its a shame to have to tell a man how to do what you think may be natural. But before you know it he will be an expert!

Post # 11
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

We have been together for 11 years, and I have yet to be romanced in the ways that you are implying. I really don’t think it happens in real life, unless the guy is independantly wealthy and has nothing to do with his time. JMHO

My guy works extremely hard at his job. He disassembles, reassembles, paints, loads, and unloads cranes <—- things that help with building buildings and other stuff.

When he is not so tired, the things that he does around the house like cooking a meal, doing the dishes, mowing the yard <— very sexy, etc., are the things that make me love him all the more and make me feel all warm inside.

If I want more than that, I have to plan it. He works so hard that I don’t expect any more than he already gives because he already gives so much.

Just him being responsible and providing me with a stable loving relationship/environment is romance enough most of the time.

Post # 12
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

“wanna have sex?”

um, no sweetie, not when you put it that way. 

 

Sigh.

Post # 14
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think, in my opinion, that what ‘it’ is strictly applies to the person who is seeking out the answer!!  If those things are what you need, then by all means, those things are what you deserve – or at the very least, a good compromise!!

For me, ‘romancing’ would include the sweet ‘out of nowhere’ compliments, the looks across the room when you are together (alone or with others) where YOU KNOW he wants you at that moment.  It includes walking in the door, and having a ‘just because’ bouquet of flowers on the table.  Even, as others have stated, the smaller gestures have helped too!!

I was never with someone who would plan a surprise VK, or a surprise date, so I took the things he did do ‘right’ or ‘well’ for me (outside of the day-to-day things), and considered it simply romantic!!

My point, it applies to what he CAN or DOES do vs what you WANT or NEED!  🙂

Post # 15
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Darling Husband romances me all the time!

He serves me dinner when I’m wrapping up something before I get to the table… gets me things without me having to ask b/c he knows I may need them… cleans on his days off… and talks kindly to me alot… calls me a wonderful wife with a hug.. and gives lots of non-sexual touch & affection.

I romance him as well by things like coming down from a shower in my skivvies and talking superheroes with him even though I don’t know much…

A great series you all may be interested in is called “Indestructible Marriage”

The 2nd teaching is ALL about romancing each other and how marriage is about a harmonious song of us ladies “speaking man” well and men “speaking woman” well.. together… not fighting which should be or is better but speaking the language of our spouse (man/woman) well b/c we love them =)

It is SO good =)

 

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Coming home from a hard day at work, and mowing the lawn, or unloading the dishwasher, or bringing home a really good 6 pack of beer. Taking a walk with the dog or a bike ride around the neighborhood and just talking about anything. Doing laundry without me asking. Waking me up early on a weekend with breakfast ready so we can go to the flea market together. 

I think my all time favorite is when he’s sleeping, and rolls over and puts his head up, looks at me with those groggy eyes, gives me the biggest smile and says “I love you more than anything else in this world”, give me a kiss, and roll over and go back to sleep. That is the best!  And it happens often. He swears he dreams about me almost every night (which I find weird, but he is also in a lot of my dreams as well).

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