Post # 1
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
I brought this up to Fiance, and he says he’s assuming his parents are going to want me to call them Mom and Dad, which I’m fine with, but it’s going to feel a little strange in the beginning calling someone else besides my parents mom and dad.
*edit* we currently still call each other’s parents Mr. and Mrs. because neither of us felt comfortable calling elders by their first name (probably a cultural thing). that pretty much limits us to mom and dad after marriage, or some term of endearment for it.
Post # 9
Member
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’ve called my in laws by their first names since the day I met them. I would never call them “mom” and “dad” because they’re not my parents. I couldn’t imagine ever calling my Mother-In-Law mom. I think it would really upset my mother. You know, the one who raised me.
Post # 18
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
Am I the only one that calls my IL mom and dad? 🙂 I do it out of respect.
Post # 19
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I had a hard enough time calling them by their first names because I was raised to use “Mr. and Mrs.” ALL the time, but I do call them by their first names now. I would never call them mom and dad! When I post on her facebook (if your in-laws aren’t on your facebook, then thank your lucky stars right now!), I call her Future Mother-In-Law, haha.
Post # 20
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
Must be a cultural thing because where I’m from first names are the norm. Is sooner call them “hey you” than mum/dad because that would be incredibly disrespectful to my real mum/dad who, you know, gave me life. I’ve never heard of calling ILs “mr/mrs smith” except in American movies. Is never be able to do that, I don’t call my professors, older colleagues/superiors or anybody like that mr/mrs so don’t see why the ILs should get special treatment. Bob and Jane it is, tbh whether they like it or not (fwiw they haven’t objected, to my knowledge)
Post # 21
Member
7691 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I call my ILs by their first names. My Father-In-Law wanted me to call him dad but I really dont feel comfortable with it! Ive called them by their first names since my husband and I started dating!
Post # 22
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
I have always addressed them by their first names, so it’s not changing after I marry their son.
Post # 23
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
I’ve only recently started using their first names. I know that I’ll never be the type of person to call them “mom” and “dad”.
Post # 24
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
I was brought up to address elders as Mr. and Ms. so I started out calling FI’s parents Mr. and Ms. Last Name. They both told me to call them by their first names but in the very beginning I felt weird doing that so I ended up calling them Mr. Larry and Ms. Linda. Eventually, the Mr and Ms dropped off and I’ve been calling them Larry and Linda for a couple years now. It was just a natural progression for me.
Post # 25
Member
1033 posts
Bumble bee
I call them Mr. FirstName and Mrs. FirstName. I wouldn’t dream of calling them anything else.
Post # 26
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
I called my FI’s parents Mr and Mrs. LASTNAME only because that is what I was raised to do out of respect. The day after we got engaged, and went over there his dad said “now you have to stop doing something! stop calling us Mr. and Mrs. LASTNAME- those were MY parents, we’re not that old yet =P “
It was all in good fun. They want me to call them FIRSTNAME only, and I’m trying to work my way into it.
Post # 27
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
I grew up hearing my mom always call my dad’s mom, mom. and vice versa. Can’t remember them calling the grand fathers dad but who knows. I definitely have no problem calling my future in laws mom and dad. they already call me their daughter, and they are a really close knit family. i dont think my parents would be disrespected at all, and i know they will think of my SO as their son once we get married. it’s all a personal preference 🙂
Post # 28
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
My bf and I call each others parents by their first name and that’s what I’m going to keep calling them, that’s what makes me comfortable. Hell I call my own step-parents by their first names (“because you already have a mom/dad and im not trying to take their place”) so im not about to suddenly start calling my in-laws “mom” and dad. I never thought of it before now but it would be pretty harsh to the people that married my parents and helped raise me if they arent called mom and dad but suddenly my in-laws were! 0_o
Post # 29
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
It probably partially depends on how tight everyone is – I call my future in-laws Mama B and Papa B; I call my own parents Mom and Dad so that’s how I differentiate, because like several of the bees have already said, my mom and dad are my only mom and dad! If the in-laws are cool with it though, a term of endearment used for them is a nice gesture of love.
Post # 30
Member
5538 posts
Bee Keeper
I think totally a regional thing. I’m a southern girl and have always called anyone who was not a peer Mr. and Mrs. but a lot of them were “Mrs./Mr. First name” and the more formal or less well known ones were “mr./Mrs. Lastname”. However I do call his parents by their first names. He calls mine by Mr./Mrs. last name though.
His grandparents want me to call them “Granddaddy and Grandma” which I do when directly speaking to them, but when talking about them it is their first names too. I have grandparents, and they are already Papa and Grandma so it is a little weird to me to call somone else that. I would NEVER call IL’s Mom and Dad. I have my own.