(Closed) How do/will you address your in-laws?

posted 9 years ago in Family
  • poll: How do/will you address your in-laws?

    Mom and Dad

    by their first names

    Mr. and Mrs. _____

    other

  • Post # 9
    Member
    10282 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’ve called my in laws by their first names since the day I met them. I would never call them “mom” and “dad” because they’re not my parents. I couldn’t imagine ever calling my Mother-In-Law mom. I think it would really upset my mother. You know, the one who raised me.

    Post # 18
    Member
    464 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Am I the only one that calls my IL mom and dad? 🙂 I do it out of respect.

    Post # 19
    Member
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I had a hard enough time calling them by their first names because I was raised to use “Mr. and Mrs.” ALL the time, but I do call them by their first names now.  I would never call them mom and dad!  When I post on her facebook (if your in-laws aren’t on your facebook, then thank your lucky stars right now!), I call her Future Mother-In-Law, haha.

    Post # 20
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Must be a cultural thing because where I’m from first names are the norm. Is sooner call them “hey you” than mum/dad because that would be incredibly disrespectful to my real mum/dad who, you know, gave me life. I’ve never heard of calling ILs “mr/mrs smith” except in American movies. Is never be able to do that, I don’t call my professors, older colleagues/superiors or anybody like that mr/mrs so don’t see why the ILs should get special treatment. Bob and Jane it is, tbh whether they like it or not (fwiw they haven’t objected, to my knowledge)

    Post # 21
    Member
    7691 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I call my ILs by their first names. My Father-In-Law wanted me to call him dad but I really dont feel comfortable with it! Ive called them by their first names since my husband and I started dating!

    Post # 22
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I have always addressed them by their first names, so it’s not changing after I marry their son.

    Post # 23
    Member
    2105 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’ve only recently started using their first names.  I know that I’ll never be the type of person to call them “mom” and “dad”. 

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    1495 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

     I was brought up to address elders as Mr. and Ms. so I started out calling FI’s parents Mr. and Ms. Last Name. They both told me to call them by their first names but in the very beginning I felt weird doing that so I ended up calling them Mr. Larry and Ms. Linda. Eventually, the Mr and Ms dropped off and I’ve been calling them Larry and Linda for a couple years now. It was just a natural progression for me. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    1033 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I call them Mr. FirstName and Mrs. FirstName. I wouldn’t dream of calling them anything else.

    Post # 26
    Member
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I called my FI’s parents Mr and Mrs. LASTNAME only because that is what I was raised to do out of respect. The day after we got engaged, and went over there his dad said “now you have to stop doing something! stop calling us Mr. and Mrs. LASTNAME- those were MY parents, we’re not that old yet =P “

    It was all in good fun. They want me to call them FIRSTNAME only, and I’m trying to work my way into it.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1132 posts
    Bumble bee

    I grew up hearing my mom always call my dad’s mom, mom. and vice versa. Can’t remember them calling the grand fathers dad but who knows. I definitely have no problem calling my future in laws mom and dad. they already call me their daughter, and they are a really close knit family. i dont think my parents would be disrespected at all, and i know they will think of my SO as their son once we get married. it’s all a personal preference 🙂

    Post # 28
    Member
    1211 posts
    Bumble bee

    My bf and I call each others parents by their first name and that’s what I’m going to keep calling them, that’s what makes me comfortable. Hell I call my own step-parents by their first names (“because you already have a mom/dad and im not trying to take their place”) so im not about to suddenly start calling my in-laws “mom” and dad. I never thought of it before now but it would be pretty harsh to the people that married my parents and helped raise me if they arent called mom and dad but suddenly my in-laws were! 0_o

    Post # 29
    Member
    57 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It probably partially depends on how tight everyone is – I call my future in-laws Mama B and Papa B; I call my own parents Mom and Dad so that’s how I differentiate, because like several of the bees have already said, my mom and dad are my only mom and dad! If the in-laws are cool with it though, a term of endearment used for them is a nice gesture of love.

    Post # 30
    Member
    5538 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think totally a regional thing. I’m a southern girl and have always called anyone who was not a peer Mr. and Mrs. but a lot of them were “Mrs./Mr. First name” and the more formal or less well known ones were “mr./Mrs. Lastname”. However I do call his parents by their first names. He calls mine by Mr./Mrs. last name though.

    His grandparents want me to call them “Granddaddy and Grandma” which I do when directly speaking to them, but when talking about them it is their first names too. I have grandparents, and they are already Papa and Grandma so it is a little weird to me to call somone else that. I would NEVER call IL’s Mom and Dad. I have my own.

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