(Closed) How Early is Too Early to Ask??

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@KatyLovesJoey: I do see the wisdom in waiting to ask (because you never know if there will be fallout with somone over something NWR) but I got engaged in June of 2010 and asked all my gals within 2 weeks. The only drawback is that if someone has to decline later (like my friend who got pregnant and will be to far along to travel), then it’s awkward to ask someone to ‘fill in’ so far after the fact. 

I see both sides, but if you KNOW these are your gals, then go ahead and ask about a year or so out 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I asked mine immediately! But make sure that you know they are lifelong friends and people that you completely trust! My girls are the most supportive, loyal, and loving friends I’ve ever had in my life, so there was no question for me! But if you have even the tiniest doubt (go with your gut on that one) then wait a bit before you decide.

Post # 5
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I asked my best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor a couple of hours after my Fiance popped the question (got engaged hours after bringing in 2011). I didn’t hesitate to ask her because we have been best friends since our freshmen year in high school. I already knew who would be my remaining 3 bridemaids but I wanted to wait until six months into the engagement. I asked my SIL and my good friend from middle school during the summer. I asked my last bridemaid (also another high school friend) last month. I knew they all would say yes and be super excited so time was never an issue. Now that we are finally closing in on a year til the wedding…I can’t wait to go shopping bridemaids dress shopping!!!

Post # 6
Member
2157 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When is too early to ask?  Before you are engaged.  😛  Aside from that, you should have your girls with you every step of the way, no matter how long that way is.

Post # 7
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

Be careful – we had an almost two year engagement and I asked my three girls quite early on. One I ended an entire friendship with a year in – and that was a hard, hard thing to deal with. It worked out in the end (I asked my future sister in law) but still… maybe leave it until you start planning a little, to make sure you’ve got the RIGHT people for the job!

Post # 8
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I asked a couple days after the I got engaged about a year ago BIG MISTAKE!! I originally asked 5 girls and 5 boys. Now after a year of planning, 3 girls decided they wouldnt do it, so i had to cut  3 boys. So sad :/

 

I would wait

Post # 9
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

I’m an October 2013 bride as well! 🙂 My sister and best friend knew before we got engaged that they would be in our wedding party, but I asked the third girl pretty much right when we got engaged (June 2011). I think you can ask as early as you are comfortable asking! 

Post # 10
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

I asked my 3 bridesmaids a year before the wedding was due. Now 3 months till the wedding monetary reasons has made us cut down to one bridesmaid and best man.

If I could have my time again I would definetly wait till 5 months before. Your best friends will be with you all the way whether they are part of the bridal party or not.

Post # 11
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I asked my girls within a week of getting engaged and we had a year and a half engagement. My BM’s have been my best friends for 15+ years so I knew they weren’t going anywhere. If you’re confident in your decision then I see no issues with “proposing” right away.

Post # 12
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Congratulations!

We’re getting married in October 2013 too!  We asked everyone back in August, more than 2 years in advance, because they were all family or friends we’ve had since we were little.  If you’re sure that those are the people you’re sticking with and nothing is going to change (which sounds likely, if they’re your sisters and your BFF of 20+ years) then I think you can ask as early as you like.

Post # 13
Hostess
23597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Congratulations on the engagement!  I don’t see anything wrong with asking them now, I say go for it!

Post # 14
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Congratulations!!! I am looking at getting married in October 2013 as well. I was wondering about this as well!! I already Have people asking who I am going to have… Soo whatching this!

Post # 15
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

You may as well ask them now, it doesn’t mean you have to tell them to do anything right away.

Post # 16
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Since I’ve been on the Hive one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned, is to ask BM closer to the wedding date, for my own tastes that would be about (6-10 months) before the date. People act real funny and sometimes it takes time for their true colors come out. And no one is going to start saving from now. It always sounds like good theory but people have their own internal timelines. Take this time and enjoy your engagement.

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