Post # 1
Our website can accept rsvps anytime starting from when the save the dates are out if we want it to. Save the dates will go out about a year before the wedding (it’s a domestic destination wedding).
Ppl can change their rsvps if they want to before the wedding. The site also lets ppl give us info like when they’re arriving/leaving the area, what hotel they’re staying at, whether they’ve bought plane tix/their flight info, etc.
To stay at our main hotel, ppl will probably need to reserve it by about 6 mos out (we’re including this info in our save the dates and on website). Rooms will still be available in another hotel block for longer than that.
Our rsvp deadline won’t be until a month or so after invites are out, but we can decide whether our site will start accepting rsvps before then or not. Getting early rsvps could help us figure out the rest of the guest list more.
Is there any problem with accepting rsvps well in advance of the wedding?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I can “Hide” my RSVP page. I am sending out the website link on the STDs to OOT guests. They can see all of the information EXCEPT for RSVP, Ceremony & reception details, and locations. i do have the ‘Accomodations’ page available for those who wish to book early. I will “unhide” these options when I send out the formal invitations 2-3 months prior to the wedding.
I would suggest not allowing RSVPs UNTIL you send your formal invites out.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I think you should start accepting RSVPs when you send actual invitations (usually 6 weeks for a domestic wedding, but up to 8).
Post # 5
you’re lucky if people RSVP at all, lol. I say accept what people are willing to give, when they are willing to give it. And if you can make it so people can’t change it, that’s definitely better.
Post # 6
@LMD: @mrsSonthebeach: curious- can I get your thoughts on why it could be bad/problematic to get any rsvps before formal invitations are out?
also- because every guest would have to drive over 6 hrs, fly across country or internationally, or take at least a 2 hr flight, we’re treating it as a destination wedding (since that’s what it is) and not using normal local invitation timing.
@crayfish: haha, understood. I want ppl to be able to change it because if they rsvp yes, but their plans change later, I’d rather know they’re no longer attending- it’s not as if forcing their rsvp to stay the same would make them have to come (or not come if they’d initially rsvpd no early on, but then changed plans to make it).
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@Shkragoldfish: I would not send invitation more than 8 weeks in advance. If those traveling might need more time to book a hotel or flight (though really almost 2 months is plenty), you can send Save-the-Dates, which I think you said you are doing/did anyway.
I wouldn’t take them earlier for three reasons:
- People will be less likely to change their minds and hastle you.
- People you haven’t sent a STD to but decide later to invite won’t find out that they didn’t make that first-round cut.
- It could imply to guests that you already sent out invitations and are accepting those RSVPs and haven’t sent out theirs yet which would give them the erroneous impression that you B-listed them.
A Save-the-Date is NOT an invitation, so there really should be no RSVPing involved based on that. The STD alerts the guest that an invitation is to follow and lets them start to prepare and think about travel arrangements and lets them consider your event in light of conflicting events before they need to make decisions.
I wouldn’t send invitations before 8 weeks because time has shown that 6-8 with a maximum 4 week RSVP date (but 2 or 3 is even better) produces the highest rate of timely responses. You want to send the invitation late enough that the guest will attend to it promptly and not set it aside for later and forget about it because the event is so far off and late enough that an employee can ask for the time off and will remember to do so. My husband, for example, has two jobs, and at neither can he request time off more than a month in advance, so if we got an invitation three months before a wedding, he’s have to remember for 2 months to wait to ask for that time off. And then, if the RSVP date is, say, 6 weeks out, he’d have to gamble on getting the time off or decline just in case. 8 weeks if still within the window for normal airfare, which doesn’t jump to ridiculous rates until about 3 weeks before the travel date and is more than enough time to get a hotel room since most hotels request the block rooms be rented by sometime between 2 weeks and one month before the event.
Post # 8
I’m tempted just to go w/the PP who said to take whatever we can get, whenever we can get it because I’m still not understanding any real downside.
@mrsSonthebeach: thanks for your explanation. save the dates not being invitations of course makes sense.
some of your other concerns apply to our circumstances and some don’t. For #1, there isn’t a hassle for us, it automatically updates a spreadsheet. #2-3 also won’t happen- guests will only know about our website or be able to see any of it (including rsvp page) after they receive the email or paper save the date or invite. No rsvp deadline will be on the site (or, if we wanted to, which we probably won’t, it could show only the date appropriate for the specific invitee looking at the site).
most or all of my guests need more, not less, notice to get time off- most need to request as early as possible, but at least 4-6 months out is okay. If they end up not being able to come because of work, some would know 6 months out, others wouldn’t know until only a few days before the wedding. So their rsvp would be the same at 6 mos, 4 mos, 2 mos, 1 mo