(Closed) How easy (emotionally) was it for you to change your last name?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
17 posts
Newbee

I’ve struggled with this as well. A married friend told me that she didn’t change her name right away because it just didn’t feel right at the time.  She ultimately changed her name a year later and had no regrets. 

Post # 47
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

I dont want to change it but Fiance wants me to change it. There will be no kids, and I just like my name. I’ve been this way for 40 years. it is who I am. Plus I have a very ethnic name and his name is as common as sliced bread. ughhhh.

Post # 48
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

I’m looking forward to change my last name because….I’ts the tradition. I’m from Europe and here it’s very common women take the husbands name and hyphenate the maiden name (so it’s Married-Maiden). It’s been a bit out of fashion in the eighties and nineties but nowadays lots of (young) brides get their husbands name. Fiance already decided he’s taking my name too so we botht will be hisname-myname after the wedding. It might give some trouble on forms: his is 7 caracters, mine 13 and I do have three (yes 3!) middle names….

Here it is also very easy to change your name and it is no problem to keep your bankaccount or drivers licence under your maiden name and have other things registered on married. Pasports and ID’s are always issued under your maiden name with the addition: spouce of ……

 

 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 12 months ago by legallyblonde.
Post # 49
Member
1354 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not taking his last name, really because I don’t care for it. I’m not super attached to my last name, but it’s less hassle to keep it than change. For the girls who are changing to a very common last name, I can sort of sympathize. I was named after my great-grand mother, so growing up my name was very uncommon. I liked being one of the few with my name. Now, it’s one of the top 20 most popular in the USA. I cringe a little bit when I read the pregnancy boards and my name gets mentioned over and over as potential baby girl names.

Post # 50
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I had no problem changing my name the first time I was married. I identify it to being married. When I got divorced, my daughter hadnt started school yet and my mom wanted me to keep the same name as her. I am glad I did because I found as much as there is re marriage and different last names, people called me by my daughters last name. It made my daughter have a sense of family(it was just me and her all these years). I loathed keeping my married name. It reminded me of a brief chapter where the only hood thing from it was my daughter. Plus, it was an ethical last name which I had no identity to, either. I was glad when she was near the end of high school, I finally changed back to my maiden name. Funny, it still took about two years to get use to. I’m grateful I had the same name as my daughter during that time. In hind site, i should have given her my last name to begin with. 

So, here I am, I like being back to my maiden name after all those years and looking at being married, finally. Yes, I want to change it. It makes it easier and part of being married. But, on the other hand, I really don’t want to change my name for reasons I can’t say in a public Forum. Anyway. I’m still stuck with my first married name to a point at work because the darn computer system !  Perment user Id until I leave. Sigh. 

Post # 51
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I haven’t changed my name.  I may or I may not when kids arrive. I haven’t decided. I like my last name. I lost my father suddenly when I was a teenager and my last name is a reminder of him. I’m not hyphenating because that requires a lot of paperwork and money in my province.  

I also work in a professional job that I’ve had for 13 years and people in my community know me. I don’t want to start all over again.  

Post # 52
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I could not WAIT to get rid of my last name! It’s not my dad’s real surname (his mum remarried when he was little and made him change his name) and when paired with my first name it’s the same name as a famous singer, so I always got made fun of for it.

DH’s surname is an uncommon Irish name which I love.

Post # 53
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - The Admiral Kidd Club

I actually don’t have a middle name (don’t ask me or my parents why!) and my last name is super, super, super common. My first name, you don’t hear too often but it’s also not super unique or one-of-a-kind one. I absolutely cannot wait to take my husband’s last name! I’m still deciding if I want to use my maiden name as my middle name or just have first name + new last name only. I don’t feel like I’m losing anything at all and am very excited to enter a new chapter in my life.

Post # 54
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It did feel strange because it had been my name for 27 years but there was no way I wouldn’t not have changed it. I’m proud to be “Mrs B!”

Post # 55
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

Well my FH says I must have his last name when we get married, so I’m thinking of making my maiden last name a second middle name, so its [first name][middle name][maiden name][married name]. I’m gonna have a hard time with it, because I’m so used to my last name, and my own mother didn’t change her last name, she didn’t take my father’s name at all. Writing the same name all through school on all your papers, I can’t imagine how difficult it’ll be to suddenly change that…

Post # 56
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

View original reply
Megbee617: Your friends seem to lack a broader perspective “why WOULD you change your last name?” is an equally import question.

I’m not changing my name for many reasons the least of which is simply that there is no significant reason to. When someone gives me the choice between doing nothing or having to fill out loads of forms etc the better option seems pretty obvious.

Post # 57
Member
4539 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It was extremely easy for me to change my last name. I never felt some emotional attachment to my maiden name and I wanted to take my husband’s name. I guess I might have felt differently if my maiden name tied me to my ethnicity or something like that, but my maiden name was just a typical last name.

 

Post # 58
Member
921 posts
Busy bee

If we weren’t planning on having kids I wouldn’t change my name.

Post # 59
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m about to have the court hearing to change my name today – and I’m really excited. I’ve gone by my middle name my whole life, so I’m actually unattached to my first name. So I’m changing my name to Middle Maiden NewLast. 

Its sort of a pain in the butt because I am having to go to court to do it, but the whole process has been fairly painless and I’m excited for my new name! I went to social security first, but they were fairly unflexible about what they would do for me, so I’m going this route. 

Post # 60
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
Megbee617:  I knew I was changing my name and I had no issues with it until I actually went to do it.  Hyphenating wasn’t an option – my old and new last names are too close (think Smith-Schmidt or Baker-Barter).  It was weird dropping the name that has been mine for 31  years but I’ve gotten used to it (it took a little while) it still sounds weird sometimes.  It was harder than I thought, but not TOO difficult.

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