(Closed) How easy (emotionally) was it for you to change your last name?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 76
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Eh, maybe I’m the unusual Bee here, but I don’t get the “emotion” tied up with your last name.

My identify and my sense of self is not tied with my last name in any way.  My last name could be Frankenstein and it would have no bearing on who I am as a person.

I plan on taking my FI’s last name because I want to have the same last name as our future kids.  I aslo think it’s kind of romantic that we will share a name.  FI prefered that I take his name, but he never made a big deal either way about it; he said it was my decision since it’s my name that would change.

Post # 77
Member
6516 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Megbee617:  I didn’t mind. I felt bad because there are no boys to carry on my last name, however, there was so much bad blood in my last name. I didn’t want to be affiliated with my family besides my mother and sister. My father’s side of the family is so messed up in so many ways and I just wanted to have nothing to do with them. I felt liket taking my husband’s last name was like a “start over” a new beginning for me. 

Post # 78
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I AGONIZED over the decision for 11 months. But once I made the decision, it was relatively easy to make the switch. It really depends on you and your individual circumstances though. I woudln’t have done it if I didn’t feel ok about it.

Post # 79
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Church

I love my last name, but I love my Fiance and I want to have the same last night as him. 

Post # 80
Member
5938 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Megbee617:  I was not attached to my maiden name at all. So it was easy. When I got remarried I was pretty hesitant, not emotionally, but becuase it’s a pain in the a$$ to change everything AND my new name rhymes. In the end, I took the new name.

Post # 81
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Our Lady Scapular and Inn on the Twenty

My last name was so common I was always getting asked if I was related to so and so. Needless to say I didn’t mind. It was important to hubby that I changed. My parents weren’t so thrilled…cultural thing.

Post # 82
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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mgbser:  I have been debating this option for a while, because there could be issues professionally if I were to change my name at work as I have an established reputation with my current name. I love this option because I feel like I can maintain my own identity while also having the same last name as my husband and future children. I’m glad to know someone else has done this!

Post # 83
Member
324 posts
Helper bee

I am not a big fan of my last name, just because it’s not having a pretty sound to it. It’s not some ultra funny or wired name but you get the idea. I am the last generation wearing this name so it will die out with me changing my name. The other thing is my bfs last name and my given name will make me name twins with Germanys best known female terrorist!!! It’s not Eva Braun!!! But my name twin has murdered some people for political reasons and I am not keen on sharing a name with her. But all this aside I just can’t imagining NOT chainging my name. I just can’t wait to read in all my boring offical papers that I am his wife!! *happy*

Post # 84
Member
4234 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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Megbee617:  I’m looking forward to changing my last name. I love my family and am close with my dad, but I don’t have any major “emotional attachment” to it. I have a brother to carry on the name as well as two other male cousins on my dad’s side to carry it on. My name also have a joke attached to it, which isn’t really that big of a deal, but every now and again people will say it and it’s like, “Wow, so funny, I haven’t heard that before…except the thousand times I’ve heard that before.” 

I’m also excited to take FI’s last name, even though it’s kind of awful, haha. Nothing bad, just not a cute last name. I’m still excited. I’ve been FirstName LastName my whole life, so I’m excited to be FirstName HisName now. I thought about hyphenating, but our two names don’t sound good together and I’ve thought about making my last name my middle name, but I love my middle name and don’t want to lose it. Ultimately, I’m just more exciting about sharing my FI’s name than keeping my maiden name. Like I said, it will be carried on, or I have the option to use it as a middle name with my children. 

Post # 85
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I always knew I would want to take my husband’s name because I like being sort of a “team”,hehe Growing up I liked that my mom had the same last name as my dad. But I understand being a bit sad about changing it, I think I went through a bit of this. But I’m getting married this Saturday and officially changing my name on Monday, I feel good about it now, I’m actually excited. And my current last name will always be my maiden name. So I will never really lose it. 

Post # 86
Member
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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robin2015:  It works great too because everyone is happy to use just part of the name rather than my super long legal name.  My colleagues just use the name everyone knows in my field (maiden).  Although we don’t have kids yet, I’m already getting in the habit of using his name socially.  I use that name for dinner reservations, for our ballroom dance classes, signing birthday cards- not a problem and I like that it is obvious we are a married couple.   Also, for most documents besides drivers licenses and passport, there really isn’t any issue keeping just the maiden name (makes for a much easier name change).  I am just my married name on my husband’s HSA account because my real name was too long.  It doesn’t matter as long as what is written appears in the legal name- and a hyphenated name shows both easy.  

Really.. it makes for everything EASIER.  Airplane tickets and other computer systems can’t process a hyphen.  The correct solution for any computer system that doesn’t process hyphens is to combine both names into one- for example Johnson-Smith would be Johnsonsmith.  As long as you know how to deal with it, it really isn’t a problem at all.  

Post # 87
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - National Press Club, DC

I knew from the beginning that I would definitely want to change my last name (I went from a pretty common last name that everyone could pronounce without a problem, to a VERY uncommon and hard to pronounce last name). I knew I would still change it though, because I am a traditional gal and I think the symbolism of changing your last name is meaningful. I also think it will be much easier for our (future possible) children if their parents have the same last name. I thought it would be a piece of cake and started with the name changing documents and process right after the wedding.

That said, it was harder than I thought to part with my name that I had for 27 years. I found the littlest things (e.g. answering my phone at work) would trip me up and I felt nostalgia for my old name from time to time. As I said, my new name is a lot harder to pronouce than my maiden name– I think that is part of it. 🙂 

Would I do things differently if I could have a do-over and not change my name? Nope. I love that me and my husband are connected by name as well as marriage now. Changing your name is not for everyone– I definitely respect that for some people it’s just not a big deal and they keep their maiden names– but for me, it was the right choice. I did put my maiden name as my middle name (and dropped my given middle name) and therefore I still have a piece of my old surname to hold on to. We will probably name one of our children my maiden name as his/her first name as well. 

 

Post # 88
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - The Heathman Lodge (Vancouver)

I’m keeping both, but not hyphenating. So it will Be FIRST MIDDLE MAIDEN MARRIED. Then I can go by both, or either one. 

Post # 89
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m seriously struggling with this right now! I don’t want to do it. I don’t like the thought of it. It seems unequal and old-fashioned. It makes my skin crawl. My dad doesn’t understand and thinks I need to change it but it just feels weird to me. My fiance understands and says he is fine with whatever. I’m planning to wait a while and adjust to the idea first. It probably will be much easier with children. I just need some time, I guess. Personally, I think we should just combine our last names to something like Mitton but he isn’t going for that much… 

Post # 90
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee

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FutureFantasticMrsFox:  I suggested combining names too but my Fiance thought it was daft

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