(Closed) How emotionally/mentally invested are/were you in YOUR wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How invested are you in your wedding?
    VERY invested--I need it to be FABULOUS! : (33 votes)
    39 %
    somewhat invested--it doesn't have to be perfect, and I don't care too much if it isn't : (39 votes)
    46 %
    not invested-- it's just one day of your life! : (13 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I was not invested in my wedding at all. I was miserable. That’s why we decided to elope! Couldn’t be happier that we did either! There was no pressure!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wasn’t one to really dream about my wedding as a kid. And I could care less about things like flowers and matchy-matchy dresses. I’m also not a big planner or into details.

    What I am invested in is that we end up married, my guests eat and drink, I get to share a dance with my dad, and the majority of our guests go home happy!

    Post # 5
    Member
    14486 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’d say not really to somewhat.  I cared that the day went smoothly and people enjoyed themselves and that we got nice pictures.  Past that, I didnt care much.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I …am trying my best to accomplish the vision i/we (ok, me!) have. It’s hard work, nerve wrecking and both my mum and sister say i am a bridezilla alright, which left me devastaded. I do care about details. I want everyone to feel comfortable, cared and loved. We deserve what we’re creating. We waited to find each other. Now we have. We want to be together for the rest of our lives. And we want to celebrate it with a ceremony and a reception as romantic as possible because that’s what WE are. My family isn’t. So they don’t understand and it makes me sad. “Why bother with favors and invitations when they don’t appreciate anything..”. Well, i am doing it nevertheless. Because it’s OUR vision and we deserve it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I was middle ground with it. It wasn’t a huge leap for either of us, alot of friends joked that technically we were already married, we were just making it official. We have been together 5+ years and were already living together. Don’t get me wrong, it made me happy to exchange our vows, but I felt like we pretty much did that when we became official. I never understood the whole last hoorah thing, there is nothing I would change about my social life after we got married. I never did anything that would seem inappropiate before we got engaged and I certainly wasn’t going to do it just because we were getting married. I will still have plenty of girls nights and he will have plenty of his guy nights.

    As for the details of, I just wanted all of my guests to have fun. If my flowers or hair did not come out right, then whatever. As long as everyone has fun and it did not rain (we had no plan B). During the planning process, I told alot of the vendors pretty much “Meh, whatever looks nice”. I also try to work with the motto that “90% of the things we worry about, never happen”.

    I guess I was mainly looking to get away on the honeymoon as well. So there is that…

    Post # 8
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I cared a LOT more about this wedding in the beginning.  Then it started to taper out and now that I’m 10 days away from the event all I want is to be married to this man.  I trust my vendors to do their jobs, but at the end of the day I just want to have fun and enjoy the once in a lifetime experience of having all our friends and family in the same room.  I don’t care about favors, programs, being ‘perfect’…. I just don’t.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @KristenGotMarried:  OMG you’re so close!! Exciting!!

    I was super invested in some aspects of it. I REALLY cared that people have a good time and enjoy the wedding. And, it’s shallow, but I also wanted to look as beautiful as I could. 

    But I was completely not invested in “details” – I basically told my florist to do whatever he wanted with local, in-season flowers, I didn’t bother making any little decorative details like card boxes or chair poms or carved initials or anything like that, I didn’t bother with favors or programs, etc.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1304 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I only cared because it was so [email protected] expensive.  I wanted to do something smaller but my husband had more ambitious vision.  *sigh*

    Wedding planning really stressed me out, and I am very glad that it’s over.

    Post # 11
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think my bridesmaids are more emotionally invested in my wedding than I am; which makes it a little difficult. It’s hard to tell them nicely to back off – that I don’t need put everything in a spreadsheet or on a calendar and that I don’t need to schedule on the calendar a test run the flowers or know right now who is going to do my hair and make-up the day off or the timeline of the what needs to be done the week of the wedding 5 months out. Everything will work out in the end – no need to stress out about it. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I wasn’t invested at all. I briefly thought about going the big, traditional wedding route, but quickly realized it just wasn’t worth it to me. All that money for one day didn’t sit right with my thrifty self. We had a courthouse ceremony, and it was the best decision we could have made. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Somewhere between Not and Somewhat. I wasn’t completely ambivalent but if we’d just eloped I’d have been equally happy.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    It’s been such a long engagement (18 months), that I have gone through phases. At first I was obsessed, then completely uninterested for a long time, and now that I am a few months out I am starting to become obsessed again. However, there are still a few details that I just dont care about at all. My main concern was that we looked good, the room looked good, the food is yummy, and our guests are happy/have fun. Things like the the types of flowers, handmade items, favors, etc…I just dont care about.

    Post # 15
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    As long as my Fiance shows up that all that really matters to me. I often feel out of touch with the whole “bride feeling” especially when people start talking about the ooh’s and aah’s of weddings and im sitting there twiddling my thumbs. I am just looking forward to the rest of our lives together vs. one day.

    Post # 16
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @violet25:  im def not bridezilla. but i do want everything to be amazing (:

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