(Closed) How far out from wedding to make a registry?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

mssoontobe :  Engagement parties are not gift-giving occassions and if people do bring something it’s usually a check, so no- you don’t need your registry done before then. 

I got my registry filled out a couple weeks before my first bridal shower. Definitely have it done when your formal invitations go out. People who can’t make it but want to buy a gift sometimes go looking for it right when they send the decline. 

Post # 3
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Southern Plantation House

I would create the registry 4-6 months out from the wedding date. You definitely want to have it available before any showers, because people will ask for it! Darling Husband & I didn’t have an engagement party (we had a 4 month long engagement, so there wasn’t really time!) but we just went to one a couple weekends ago for our friends. From what it looked like, about 50% of the guests brought a small gift off-registry or cash.  

Post # 5
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

mssoontobe :  I’m not super traditional so I may not be the best person to answer this, but I don’t think it would hurt to make it prior to your engagement party as people may ask. I would be sure to do it at least 6 months before the wedding. I’m about to shop for a friends wedding gift and they aren’t getting married until 10/22. 

I can’t remember when we started our registry, but as we had a small wedding it probably wasn’t more than 4 months out. It ended up being a waste because everyone gave us money, which we were not expecting. 

I know it’s different, but I started my baby registry when I was about 3 months along. I’m about 5 months now, but I haven’t told anyone besides family that’s asked. I’ll probably post it on Facebook in October, only because most of our friends and family are out state.

Post # 6
Member
9281 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

anytime you want.  i had a 7 month engagement but i was constantly changing my registry.  when i had downtime at work, i would search through items and add and take away depending what i thought i wanted/needed.

Post # 7
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I would create it before your shower invites go out. If you want to start earlier you can keep them “private” so people can’t pull them up. If you do them early, there is also a chance that things you have on there may no longer be available closer to your date so you might have to check in and put in replacements 

Post # 9
Member
2628 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We didn’t have an engagement party and we have never been to one, so maybe you know more about the norms in your area than we do.  But for us, we made sure our registry was up and running before the shower invitations went out.

Post # 10
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee

I recommend making your registry about fifteen to twenty years before your wedding.

It really isn’t ‘nice’ to put an obvious effort into deciding what presents you would like other people to buy you, and for most modern brides, that’s exactly what making a registry is all about.

In its more functional form, a registry is about knowing, early in your life, that adulthood brings with it the responsibility to practice hospitality and to maintain civilities, and working towards being able to do so in a style that expresses your character while maintaining the standards to which you are reared or, if you are something of a rebel, to which you aspire. Entertaining and running a household both take skills and equipment thatone cannot acquire overnight. So you start building up both gradually, with the result that whether you marry or not, at some point you have everything you need to invite the IODE ladies to afternoon tea, or your grand-niece and her two toddlers to stay as houseguests for a week while she cleans out the bank-account and divorces her no-good abuser husband, or the Syrian family who have moved in across from the groceteria to their first north-american Christmas dinner. The fact that if you DO marry, your friends and family can make recourse to snooping through your registry to inform themselves of your style, and what completer pieces you need to go with your Doulton Old Country Roses china, is then purely happenstance — and happily for you, it means that you don’t have to worry about what they may think about your price-points or your choices because it’s none of their business!

What is their business, is to decide for themselves what they would like to give you, if anything; and if they truly are your nearest and dearest, it is to be hoped that they have some idea of just what sort of gift would make you very happy.

Post # 11
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee

As myself & a few friends have learned- items will be discontinued frequently. Don’t make your registry too early or you could end up with plates & cups from a pattern that is discontinued before the bowls & saucers are bought or something similar  

I would have it ready when your bridal shower invites are sent out. 

Post # 12
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

A few people asked me for my registry when I had my engagement party.  I did not have one set up so I got some interesting gifts (and also some checks).  Some people say set it up as soon as you get engaged because people will ask.

Post # 13
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Definitely before your showers, if you have one, since the point of a shower is to receive presents.   

We did not set up a registry for our engagement parties (we had two), despite the fact that one of my fiancé’s friends insisted that we needed to register beforehand, and she was not going to give a card or gift unless we registered. True life: she’s a terrible person. 

We ended up receiving lots of alcohol, cards, and checks. People did not want to come empty-handed. It was all a pleasant surprise. 

Post # 14
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Practically, it’s really never “too early” to register. Nice towels and a standing mixer will never get discontinued. So long as youre not shoving your ring in peoples faces and saying “We’re registered at Williams Sonoma too! Hint Hint!” people aren’t horrified that you’re ahead of the game making a registry. 

Then again, I’m from a family and region where its expected that a guest is invited to some sort of shower and is expected to bring a houseware gift. Even a well stocked registry will still be picked clean by the week before the shower, let alone the wedding. So I’ve always been grateful to have the ability to buy a present within my budget really early and just have it sit in my closet until I can throw a bow on it and give it to the Bride/Groom. 

Post # 15
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I did it about a year before

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