TO @Bindi: you are right to be concerned about the unknowns that the future will bring when raising kids …
BUT just like one has 9 months to get ready for a new baby… you have about 11 years to get ready for the roller coaster that are the teenage years. I’d have to say 11 to 15 are the worst. The are just a pile of hormones and adult bodies, with not a lot of brain power to balance that out. A lot of stuff can go wrong in those 4 years (boys or girls). One truly has to be vigilant, and maybe make necessary adjustments changes.
Cause as I’ve said here before on WBee with kids you only get one kick at the can. One childhood to get it right… get it wrong and yes it can affect their whole lives.
Babies to 2 are one phase.
3 & 4 another
5 to 10 wonderful years… not a lot of issues whatsover. Many a Parent will tell you these are “the wonder years” when kids are cooperative, and easy to get along with as a family.
11 to 15 trying (and exhausting)
On the otherhand their brains tend to come back / grow up by the time they are 16. Sixteen to 18 is a lot easier.
Then they exert their independence again 18 to 25 or so … this time is hard for Parents, the empty nest years. And as a Parent, it is US WHO MUST GROW. As this is the age group who barely calls home… cause they are off living an exciting life.
Then after 25 things are truly great… Kids become your best friends… a real joy when both the kid and the Parents are young enough to enjoy things together… have had some great vacations with this age group.
Usually those are years of transition to… they’ve finished school, starting a career, looking to settle down, maybe start a family. Suddenly they find that the knowledge that Mom & Dad have accumulated in life might be helpful. Lol
At the same time, we want to encourage them to enjoy the fact that the whole world is their oyster… opening up to them as never before as they enter their 30s !!
And so it goes
Life is a fascinating circle…
Here I am closing in on 60, and I have to say I am anxiously awaiting Grandkiddies… what a total joy that will be !!
But at the same time I would never prod or push, or pull… or pester my children in how they choose to live their lives.
As one of my adult children asked me when they turned 18…
“How come you aren’t all freakin out about my tattoo… ?”
And I calmly said the truth…
“Honey, I parented you EXTENSIVELY for 18 years. 6570 Days & Nights, I looked out for you and over you. I taught you right and wrong, and gave you all the tools you need to make it in the world. What you do now as an Adult is your business. I’ll still be here if you need me, cause I love you… BUT in truth my job is done”
They were rather shocked.
But they later said they appreciated that I didn’t have a fit, or was judgemental of their choice.
Lol, nope. Not my choice, but hey I’m not going to worry about it. It is their choice and they are the ones who have to live with it.
And so it goes… be it their tattoos, jobs, SOs … whatever. I am here to continue to be their BIGGEST FAN. But my Parenting Days are over (well in the hands on role).
In truth they’ll always be my Babies, and I’ll always be their Mom.
Hope this helps,