(Closed) How Has Waiting Affected You Emotionally?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Weirdly since I found out my SO has the ring I’ve been feeling really casual about it all. Mainly I just want to see the ring but I’m just enjoying this time of being boyfriend-girlfriend because as much as I’m totally ready for the next chapter, we’ve been BF/GF for 6.5 years, practically our entire 20’s, and marriage is just so… Grown up! Haha I guess that’s why we’re in the position we’re in and not married after 2 years or whatever. 

Post # 4
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

@GirlWithTheGlassSlippers:  Yap thats me I know SO has the ring and I am supposed to get in within a week from today (fingers crossed) I am so nervous, I have planned everything for the weddings I bought my shoes jewelry, I found the dress, know my make up, called venues , found a venue, created a Save the dates and picked a design for invites, our wedding will be 3 months from proposal so not much time for me to plan SO is a last minute kinda guy and I know I will be doing the majority of the planning.

 

I imagine how the ring will look like, I imagine how it will feel like to tell my parents and to finally call him my Fiance, its crazy I am reading about being a wife and how that will change the relationship I just want to be a great wife,partner and friend. I havent told any of my friends yet and Fiance doenst know I know he has the ring I am sneaky and during xmas he said he wld pop the question before my bday which is 1 week from today (eek). do you know when its going to happen? or have an idea?

Post # 5
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It’s made me obsessed with wedding stuff! I’m always on the bee haha

It’s made me emotional about waiting and really anxious about it. I used to NEVER feel jealous of friends getting engaged/married until last summer when we got to 5 years together. It’s like all of a sudden a switch flipped in my head. I do kind of feel bad for SO. I know I’ve put pressure on him

Post # 6
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’ve definitely been obsessed more with wedding stuff. I wish someone around me was getting married so I could focus on them instead of my waiting lol

Post # 7
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I been with my SO for almost 3 yrs and I feel anxious I want it so bad and I can feel it lol but yet the wait seems forever but its only been a year since I been waiting. Im not overly obsessed about planning of the wedding its more of that yes Iam married and I cant wait to take my life to the next chapter.

Post # 8
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

@memo:  Tell me about it my friend broke up with her SO because he would not propose after 2 years of dating she then met someone else and she was engaged within a year I have been with SO 6 Years this year, I flipped out was so jealous pissed hated SO i told him about that I made such a huge deal so he knows not to  make me wait anylonger ok fastforward my friend is getting married in sepetember and she calls me every weekend to have me help her pick invites, shoes,dress, jewelry I feel like shes intentionaly doing that just to piss me of she recently published her wedding website, but she doesnt know that SO and I are having a short engagement and our wedding will be this year a month before hers yes he is yet to propose he has the ring but so much family from abroad will be around  that time so it made sense for us to do so.

 

There is nothing that hurts more than a girlfried who rubs her engagement in your face when she knows you want the ring, the only thing that consoles me is that her Fiance doesnt have  money to pay for the wedding so shes paying for the entire wedding herself and shes frustrated. Women should be compasionate towards others that are waiting it a hard period for some of us.

Post # 9
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

I’ve been a complete bitch since we bought it. I was already stressed out by other things, but buying it seemed to push me over the edge. He even admitted that it made everything so real, and that he’s been struggling with the stress. 

We are one hot mess right now.  

Post # 10
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@msgee:  I hate seeing people get engaged/married who have been together for like 1 year (no offense to those who are!). It really grinds my gears. One of my friends will probably be getting engaged in a couple weeks and I’m going dress shopping with a different friend soon. I try really hard to not show my jealousy, but it’s so hard! I’m hoping for a proposal during our anni in June. I bet your friend will say a couple things when she finds out you’re getting married before her!

My BIGGEST pet peeve is people who hear me refer to SO and “boyfriend” and during conversation they imply that we aren’t serious. When I tell them we’ve been together 6 years, the response from some is “oh that’s longer than I’ve been with my husband!”

Post # 11
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

@memo:  I feel empathy for how you feel..I don’t get jealous I get annoyed with my SO in my heart and mind.  We have been together for 5 years as of January.  No ring no proposal just empty promises over and over.  I think our relationship went backwards.  I have two coworkers that just got engaged and I am so happy for them.  It does make me think …what the Heck is going on in my life.  I think he has gotten laxed.  Tired of waiting.  very annoyed.  I don’t really care if we ever got married.  But I do believe that I should have a ring on my finger as a symbol that I am taken…and I don’t mean for granted because that’s how I feel.  We picked a ring about 2 years ago and nothing nothing nothing.  But I get enjoyment out of seeing how happy other people are…it gives me hope that if this relationship is not going to work..maybe I can find a new soul mate..who knows.

 

Post # 12
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@TBROCKMAN:  The whole waiting situation sucks. I know that SO will propose at some point, but he’s the kind of guy to take forever to do things. Doesn’t help that his parents waited 7 years before they got married! I often do the “what is wrong with us” kind of thing, but I know I shouldn’t compare my life with others though.

I hope your SO will come around. Have you talked to him about how much it means to you?

Post # 13
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

@memo:  when we started dating I was proud to say we have been together 2 years but now I am kinda embarrased to say 6 years because I know what my co workers and friends are thinking.When married and engaged girlfriends say when is your wedding I feel like saying do you want SO’s number and you can call and ask him? its not in my hands  have no control, but now I just say when he proposes you will be the first to know.

I have friends that dated got married and have kids that are 3 years old and with a 2nd one on the way  all this happened whilst I am still with SO,that just makes me hate SO and resent him. Now i feel better because I know he has the ring, I am glad to know that I am not crazy and that other bees go through the same emotional toture that our men put us through.

Post # 14
Member
629 posts
Busy bee

I feel like waiting has made me more relaxed in certain aspects. I used to have to be the one on top of planning everything. Now, I usually let my SO take the reins, just in case this is the time he plans on popping the question.

Post # 15
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

@memo:  we talked til im blue in the face ….i stopped talking about it. We had so many plans then it just went out the window. put off and blah blah… He recently brought it up. I think its just to put a feeler out as to where my mind set is.  He takes forever also to do anything.  He even admits it. 

Post # 16
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

It really won’t matter if he never does it.  I will always keep reading these boards and enjoying everyone else’s happy stories.  I can’t get enough ring porn.  The women on this website are really cool and supportive to each other and i like that.  I recommend my coworker to check this site out…and she likes it. 

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