Post # 1
What are your weekends like? Do you have a routine? Do you feel like a different person? Do you still have time for your friends?
I haven’t started TTC yet, but it’s funny how now that I have baby on the brain it’s like nothing else even matters. I’m actually excited for all the changes!
Post # 3
Darling Husband and I live in upstate NY and were pretty much stay at home people before we has Baby T. I run and mountain bike and Darling Husband likes to work out and does a sprint triathlon each year. We liked to go out to eat and to the movies too. We also hike and camp. We both work outside the home full time – Darling Husband is a gym teacher and coach and I’m a social worker.
Since having Baby T things are both different and the same. He’s 8 months old now. Our lives revolve around him, but we are still able to do most of what we did before. I haven’t mountain biked since getting pregnant, but I run with Baby T in the jogger. We still did day hikes this summer and fall with Baby T in the carrier. We went out to dinner a few times. We try to go earlier or closer to home to work around his schedule, but it wasn’t too big a deal if we stuck to more family friendly places and tried to avoid peak times. We haven’t een out to a movie since before he was born, which is one thing I’m really looking forward to sometime soon.
He is just amazing though. Darling Husband and I could have had plenty of opportunities to leave him with family and go out, but it’s more by choice. I don’t want to leave him just yet since I leave him at daycare everyday. I love playing with him and nothing beats snuggling with a sleeping baby. We flew to FL when he was five weeks for my sister’s wedding and have taken weekend long road trips a bunch of times without too many problems.
I spend a lot more time washing cloth diapers and botles than I expected, but Baby T eats and sleeps well, so we are really lucky. The biggest change is really the sense of meaning and purpose that has been added to my life. Baby T is everything to Darling Husband and I. We look at one another every day and just marvel at our little family and how awesome our kid is.
Post # 4
@mrstilly: I love your response! Especially the last paragraph…so sweet!
Post # 5
I think it depends on what kind of baby you get…and you don’t get to choose! We were very active people who were always attending professional and social events, but our life is 100% different now. Our 11-month-old baby has set himself up with a very strict routine and if we vary it by even a small bit (like stopping at the store for a gallon of milk) he goes beserk and screams for hours. It is impossible for us to do ANYTHING we used to. I feel very trapped and long for a break. Of course, we LOVE our baby, but nothing could have prepared me for how difficult parenting would be. I’m so glad we waited to have kids and we got to do some traveling before because we definitely can’t do it now. We recently took a trip to visit family (just a 90 minute flight away) and the entire week was a wretched disaster. It was so bad that some days we couldn’t even leave our hotel room, and at night we ate takeout in the dark in silence so as not to wake the baby. We won’t be travelling again anytime soon 🙁
Post # 6
@FreeRangeMom: That is very true. The personality of babies can vary so much, and you don’t get to pick.
I don’t know if Baby T is easy going because of his own personality, or if it’s a mix of him sensing ours and the environment. He was only a week old when we went to our first mom’s group and breastfeeding meetings, and we go out and about a lot. He’s our only child, so it’ll be interesting to see how our next child compares.
I know we are lucky to have an easy going baby and that contributes to our lives staying relatively the same.
Post # 7
@FreeRangeMom: I do believe so much of it has to with personality, and I think biology plays so much more into personality/temperment than we usually give it credit for.
I think the biggest change after having a baby was in my own personality. I’ve always been a very rational/intellectual type of person. I really like to think about things before reacting, and I have a tendency to kinda push emotions aside so I can reason problems out. Since having my daughter, though, I’ve become a lot softer and more emotional. In a lot of ways, this is a good thing. 🙂 My husband is naturally emotional and sentimental, so I think we’ve bonded on a new level now that I can understand his feelings a bit better.
Most of the changes in our lives have come from me changing, I think. Otherwise, we were pretty much homebodies pre-baby, and our routines/daily lives haven’t change all that much. We were blessed with a very easy-going baby, so we’re still able to do our regular outdoor activities, and we still travel quite a bit. I do miss going to the movies, like @mrstilly: said, but we don’t like to leave our daughter with babysitters, and we don’t have any family nearby that can watch her, so right now we just watch Netflix and pretend like we’re at the movie theater, lol. Other than that, we’re busier than before, but we have a lot more fun now, so I don’t usually miss those lazy pre-baby days too much. 🙂
Post # 8
@FreeRangeMom: Oh wow that sounds very challenging! I’ve heard from many friends that having a baby is A LOT of work, so know you’re not the only one. Thanks for your response!
Post # 9
Before giving birth to my daughter, my life didn’t make sense. I always went with the flow. I didn’t have any real plans in life other than to do well in my major and have a great career. I guess you could say I always had a hot temper, very loud mouth, loved clubbing and hanging out even though my SO is the complete opposite. Ever since Aria has been here (she is not 3 months) I now have direction. She gave me that boost to excel in my classes because I want to be able to give her everything she needs (1 semester left, yay!) Everyone around me has commented on my change and I know it’s true because I feel it and I know it. I am no longer a hot head or a smart alec. Aria has exercised my patience. I’ve also become more kind and giving and selfless (according to my family and friends) As far as clubbing and going out every weekend? My saturday nights now consist of changing diapers, nursing, seeing her smile and hearing her baby coos and I wouldn’t have it any other way
Post # 10
It’s harder to travel, you get less sleep, less time for you/hobbies/friends/husband, I had to reduce work hours and then quit to care for our son, less down time. I love my child more than life itself and laugh with him daily. I miss him like crazy when I’m not with him, but gosh it’s hard.
Post # 11
@beanieboo: What a good, honest answer!
Post # 12
I don’t think things for us are as drastically different as I have heard they are for others. The biggest change is that everything is so much more fun now, with a little more work. I do agree that the personality of your baby can make a big impact on this. I was never all that into babies and I honestly felt like it was going to change my life in all sorts of challenging ways, and that I wouldn’t be able to do anything anymore….but no one told me how darn fun it all is. My son is 17 months old and I feel like it just keeps getting better all the time. He is a pretty laid back kid and is a good sleeper/eater. We have probably taken him on 30+ flights, including a ski trip when he was 7 months old. He has been a trooper through all of it! He laughs a lot, he delights in all sorts of things that I stopped noticing a long time ago, he gives a lot more meaning and purpose to my days. He has a schedule but we find we can be flexible with it so while nap times DO get in the way, nothing is firm.
Yes, I get up earlier now and have more to do. But I still make time for my friends, my husband, my family. We get babysitters on the weekends and go out at night while he sleeps. I take him to babysitting at the gym when I go there. I am making career decisions around my new role as a mom. But none of these challenges are at the forefront of my mind – I really feel like the good stuff is what I see far more of than the work/challenges involved.
We have zero family around to help, but we are in our 30s and financially secure, which I think probably also helps. oh and our nanny is a godsend – she does our laundry and takes amazing care of not only our son but our home as well. This helps so that our family time is family time and not chore time!
We shall see what happens if/when baby #2 comes along 🙂
Post # 13
I think I just need to say again that personality means so much in how the baby impacts your life. You don’t know who you have until you meet them, and who they are shapes everything. And you don’t know how you’ll react until you have one!
We took our 15 MO to the gym this weekend and left him in the childcare room, and he cried so hard they had to come get me. We can only go out to eat at like 4 pm or in a super kid friendly restaurant. Plane travel is really hard since all he wants to do is walk around.
So I’d say babysitters and making time for you and your relationships is key, regardless of your baby! 🙂