(Closed) How has your relationship changed after getting engaged?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Our relationship didn’t really change.. I would say our relationship changed the most when we started living together. Although for about a month right after we got engaged, I was on cloud 9!

What has changed about your relationship?

Post # 4
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It didn’t.  We were already living together, though, and right after we got engaged, we bought a house.  It’s been a pretty seamless transition.  If anything, it got better, because now I feel like we’re on the same page (in terms of where we wanted the relationship to go).

Post # 5
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ours changed a bit.  Maybe more in my head than any other way.  I was at a point where I was just waiting and waiting and waiting.  So when he finally proposed, that tension/stress completely disppeared.  And now I’m more comfortable talking about forever, whereas he’d always talked as if we would be together forever.  Because he knew he had a plan, and I wasn’t convinced.  Other than that, things are normal. 

Post # 6
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’ve just been blissfully happy! We have a lot more emotional intimacy. We feel more grown-up. We’re much more comfortable talking about the long-term future. We bought a house together (I haven’t moved in yet) and we wouldn’t have done that if a wedding weren’t in the works.

Fiance and I had had issues 3 years ago about the long-distance situation we were in and who would be the one to move to end it. I finally did, but only after a year of fighting about it. I hated the idea of changing my career or putting it on hold for a guy. Recently, he told me that he’d be comfortable moving to for my career later on down the road, which was the promise I spent a miserable year trying to extract from him! I don’t think that would have happened without the engagement and everything that came with it.

Post # 7
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

it was nice to talk about things in a definite way, instead of a more conditional way. It felt unnatural to say If all the time, when i felt like i should be saying When.

Post # 8
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t say that ours has much.  Maybe in some ways things are more like reality and adultlike, lol.  We are just growing up and getting used to the idea of taking care of each other for the rest of our lives.  We are very much in love and things are still amazing, it just seems more…real I guess…

Post # 9
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

It honestly didn’t on a personal level. Maybe we were just crazy optimistic, but we always used “when” instead of “if” once we were a few years into our relationship. We both knew we were committed to marrying the other, we just had to wait awhile for the engagement. Since we had already been living together, etc, our relationship is no different except for how other people see us/treat us. 

Post # 10
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@lilyfaith, we always used “when” as well. I don’t think it’s crazy optimism, I think it’s a good calm rational that you both want to be with each other and don’t want to beat around the bush 🙂

Hmm, FH’s and my relationship is the same. We still have date nights and we still argue every so often like any other couple. We’re probably a bit more candidly open with each other than we were before but only marginally I think.

Post # 11
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

We thought it wouldn’t change, but it did. We realized pretty early that there seemed to be a weight lifted off our shoulders about us, the future, our lives together. Having made that commitment, we were able to plan in terms of “when” instead of in terms of “if”. That was amazing.

Post # 12
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ours is different just because our time isn’t about “us” anymore its about “the wedding”. All our time/conversations revolves around wedding planning, I know we will go back to normal after the wedding but for now its a little hectic.

Post # 13
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it has changed because of the wedding planning and how stressful it can be at times. I am on edge a lot because his mother drives me nuts (and she never did before we got engaged) so I think that makes things hard at times. ACtually though since getting engaged I think we have fought less!

Post # 14
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We have actually become a little more loving towards each other…because now it is official that we are going to be married soon! I am also a lot more relaxed with him now that we are official…although I am stressing out about wedding planning!

Post # 15
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

AFter we got engaged, we started fighting a lot more… I blame it partly on the stress associated with wedding planning. After we got married, our relationship went back to how it was pre-engagement. Which was a good thing! 

Post # 16
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Our conversations changed. We talk more about the future now, especially financial stuff. Fiance is obsessed over our registry. The funny thing is, he is doing all of our kitchen wares research. He is so excited to have a fully stocked kitchen with plates, china, flatware, mixer, etc. that will last for a long, long time. He also has brought up heirlooms frequently. It is very adorable! 

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