(Closed) How has your relationship changed after getting engaged?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

we fought a lot more.  i didnt really like being engaged.  and the first year of marriage hasn’t been a cake walk either.  good luck.

Post # 18
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Our relationship improved after getting engaged.  It took a lot of stress/tension away because our “waiting” phase was a little too long for my tastes and I was getting antsy, and he could tell.  After getting engaged, we became a bit more financially merged, like I put him on my credit card – stuff I wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing pre-engagement.  I think we’re both just more relaxed and secure in our relationship with each other. 

Post # 19
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

MY relationship changed with my fiance a lot since we’ve gotten engaged. We were together 5 months when we got engaged but have had 2 and a half years for engagement. Some of the change has been good because we’re very open and these changes have made  it all the more secure that we’re meant for each other. The bad changes really have depended on the day and situation. For us if either of us is in a bad mood in the beginning we’d find ways to pick at one another, either about family or habits we have etc. We’ve implemented rules to any arguements now and have a “stop button” tactic where we literally each talk a 5 minute walk to cool off so we can end the arguement.

Post # 20
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Our changed a bit… he says i’ve been alot happier and more stress free. But i think it had alot to do with the fact that i stopped working my second job after he did. Our relationship has always been amazing but now its even more knowing that we can talk about anything and the future we want together.

He actually talked to me yesterday about how he felt when his dad wasnt in his life… It was like we have reached another level of communication. Granted he is a pshyic major with emphasis on marriage counseling and he has always emphasized communication.

To me i guess its just alot more exciting to know that you will have a partner for the rest of your life and you wont be alone! Sick in love! 🙂

Post # 21
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The dynamic of our relationship has definitely changed, but I may have to be that bee that says it has gotten harder! I’m positive that it is due to our long distance relationship though. We were LD 4 months before our engagement and now for 6 months since we have been engaged with 4 more to go and I am ready to be DONE with LD…and between the stress of that and my fiance’s ass-kicking grad school schedule, the engagement has been tougher than I had hoped. It is reassuring to know that since we are now engaged, come easy or hard times that we are in this together for the long haul and that he’ll be my partner for life, but it is difficult not being with him in person to share our successes, failures, fears, hopes, and to work on wedding plans together, and to just spend quality time together hanging out. In that way the change from dating to being engaged has been a difficult, heart-breaking one.

Post # 22
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Mine hasn’t changed at all. We had been living together for over 8 month before he popped the question and I think that our relationship changed more when we first moved in together. 

Post # 23
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

mine hasnt changed, except i SWEAR he cleans less…. hmmm… LOL

Post # 24
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It’s weird, because my Fiance and I knew pretty early on that we were going to be together forever, and since that time have always acted like we are a single unit. Still, I was really surprised to find we have grown EVEN closer since the engagement. It is hard to define, really. I think it is because of all the wedding planning. Fiance is very involved, so it is a real team effort, and I like feeling like we are accomplishing a big project together. I am anxious to see what being married will do to my perception of our relationship-if I will notice an even closer bond. Maybe it’s all in my head!

I don’t know what specifically you mean by “bad changes”, but I can see where the engagement could be tough for some people. It seems like since getting engaged we have had to deal with a lot of family issues together. Nothing major, but it’s like now that everything is “official” both of our families feel they can give unsolicited advice whenever they want, which does lead to some stress. We have just tried to be a united front in dealing with any issues that have come up. I think good communication is what helps us deal with the stress. Hang in there- I am sure if there are issues they will resolve with time!

Post # 25
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We feel much more committed. Our relationship has grown so much closer and stronger over the past almost-year that we have been engaged. We have had plenty of fights about wedding related stuff but I think it helps us talk through the underlying issues (usually money or family) which is important! 

Post # 26
Member
3600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Towards the end of the dating phase, I was snappy pretty often. I knew that he had asked my dad’s permission (because my mom called me and demanded to know what I thought I was doing) 8 months before I got the ring, and I was getting tired of waiting. Aside from that stressor gone, nothing much has changed that wouldn’t have chnaged without the engagment. Our interactions and communications has continued to grow just like any healthy relationship.

That said, sexual temptation is MUCH more immediate. Being engaged has made us both just hormones in chacos.

Post # 27
Member
7769 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Mine didn’t change at all, we are happier- I think, because we are excited about what is to come.  So, maybe it has.  I think we are happier.  I know that Fiance got a lot of respect at work when he proposed, and everyone at school has been upbeat and supportive to me.  Also, family and old friends have come together in a huge way, when we were very distant and did not get along before (family members did not get along prior, is what I mean to say.)  It has been bringing people together- so it has been a positive change for us.  I definitely feel more secure and respected.

Post # 27
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

Ew. Ours changed immediately and in not a good way. I feel like I am single again. He’s more distant. He didn’t do anything on Valentine’s Day. He has started putting his family and friends before me. He was the one trying to convince me to finally get engaged, so it’s very odd. It’s two months before the wedding. Yikes.

Post # 28
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Hunting Hill Mansion

View original reply
ladykatie82:  This makes me so sad after reading through your thread about the friend’s wedding 🙁 I think you should do a serious relationship evaluation and I wish you all the best.

Post # 29
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

For me I keep falling more and more in love with him as time passes (and I was already deeply and madly in love with him from the first time I layed eyes on him).  The one difference I noticed after we got engaged is that now I feel that I’m more free to show affection towards him, i.e. he’s my fiancee so I can tell him all the time I love him, hug him, touch him, where before I was more reserved.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  gatordeb.
Post # 30
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We also feel more committed. I actually wouldn’t say our relationship changed much at all when we started living together as it was sort of a gradual thing… he started staying more and more at my place to the point that friend usually assumed we lived together, and then he just gave up his lease and moved his small amount of furniture into storage (my place is small, hoping to move someplace bigger soon). 

However, I feel like it improved after getting engaged. Nothing real, perhaps, but do feel more committed. Even though he was clear he wanted to marry me from very early on in the relationship, once I became certain I wanted to marry him (which took a lot longer than it did for him) I was anxious that something would change. It was stupid and most of the time it didn’t affect me/us, but I’d say I definitely felt more secure in the relationship after getting engaged. Probably this was also because we started wedding planning pretty much immediately!

As another poster said, for the first month I was on cloud nine! Which probably helped too. I would sometimes sit at work, just staring at my ring and smiling. Good thing I was working with a bunch of girls who thought it was cute 😉

The topic ‘How has your relationship changed after getting engaged?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors