How has your relationship changed you?

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
4064 posts
Honey bee

I’ve become quite good at throwing parties with a large amount of people or dinners with just a couple or two. My husband is very social and I just kind of go with it. But as a more introverted person I need to chill after these get-togethers.


Post # 17
872 posts
Busy bee

bellabelle12 :  I’m an independent person, and my last two relationships were long distance. The first relationship was 6 years, and he lived an hour away. The second was 5 years, and he lived between 2 to 5 hours, depending on where his job took him. I saw each boyfriend on weekends or every other weekend, and I was perfectly fine with the arrangement. My fiancé and I have been together 6 years, and he lives 5 minutes away. It was an adjustment for me spending time with someone on a regular basis. It feels comfy and normal now, but definitely something I had to get used to. We are each other’s best friend, and while I’m still independent, I’ve learned to be vulnerable and depend on someone to be there for me. My fiancé does work long and irregular hours, so I attribute that to part of what makes our relationship work so well. I don’t stress over not seeing him as much as I would like, and he can relax knowing I’m not sitting home lonely while he puts in long hours. 

Post # 18
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We are both introverts, but I am better at maintaining social relationships and planning, so I think through watching me do that he’s gotten better at initiating social activities and reaching out to friends to see them. He’s also gotten a million times better at cooking and menu planning, and some of the other mental load things I used to shoulder the bulk of.

One thing that jumps out at me about how I’ve changed since we got together is flossing lol. I used to be pretty bad about it, but watching him floss every night got me into the habit and now I don’t go a day without doing it. It’s been great for my dental costs! In terms of emotional growth, I think I’ve become more secure in communicating when there’s something that’s upsetting me. I’ve always been the type to turn it around on myself if I’m angry or upset, and bash myself for feeling that way – even if it’s objectively justified. But my husband is so loving and supportive, I don’t worry that I’ll push him away if I tell him how I’m feeling. 

Post # 19
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

bellabelle12 :  I know people say nothing changes when you’re married, just the marital status (and in some ways that’s true), but honestly our relationship has changed a lot- for the better! We argue less, we’re both more understanding and compassionate toward each other, and he helps me to be more flexible and less selfish. We were working on all those things before we got married, but after we put the wedding rings on each other’s fingers, something just clicked. Maybe it’s the feeling like we’re both in this for life and really have nothing left to question or argue about (well.. almost nothing hehe)

Post # 20
1299 posts
Bumble bee

This relationship  has greatly changed me..

I now know what it is like to be loved unconditionally, and simply, without judgement. That is itself is truly a gift, one I did not know I was ever  lacking until I had it. 

I have learned to be completely tolerant. I accept my man as he is, without expectation or complaints. This is something that I learned from him. For the first time in my life I do not have to walk on eggshells, or fear being accussed, persecuted, and don’t have to live in a cloud of chaos and negativity. 

I learned, that I am safe here. I don’t have to protect  myself. I learned that true goodness and gentleNess in love exists, and that I am fortunate, valued and respected. 

These are things I never knew I was missing as I had never been exposed to them. So our relationship  has caused growth in  me, my outlook and in turn, improved me as a person.

Post # 21
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Love this thread 💕 

Being with my fiance has changed me in so many ways! I’ve become more patient and compassionate, less guarded and selfish. I’ve become better at love, not just with my S.O., but with everyone in my life- I’ve become a better daughter and granddaughter and sister and pet owner and a far better friend. I’ve become braver and more confident in myself. I’ve become more responsible and more engaged in life. I’m learning to live in the moment and appreciate the now, and to not sweat the small stuff. 

My fiance has learned to stand up for himself more. He’s also become more confident. He’s become more intellectually engaged and has expanded his interests and hobbies a lot.

We’ve both become increasingly adventurous with food, and we have traveled more than we ever did before each other. 

Post # 22
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’ve become much more self aware and better at regulating my emotions. I’ve also become more comfortable being a taker when it’s appropriate, whereas before I was solely a giver. My husband would have to answer for himself, but it appears that he is better at advocating for himself.

Post # 23
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

bellabelle12 :  I am too. I have notorious trust issues and he’s the only person I set them aside for. It’s nice to know someone has my back. He always watches out for me in the simplest and most heart-warming ways.

Also, I’ve started therapy. Like actually this time. I tried twice before and made excuses to stop, and I’m now further in than I was with the two previous stints combined. He’s helping me find ways to cope with my anxiety, I don’t have as many panic attacks, my PTSD is calming down, and I can sleep through the night (not alone yet, but still). I set boundaries, stand up for myself, accept help when I need it. He’s made such a huge difference.

I’ve ways been independent but now I’m not alone.


Post # 24
209 posts
Helper bee

I’ve learned to let things go; he has become much more focused on how to take care of our future family. I don’t know that these are things that changes because of our relationship, though; I think it’s more a about age and where we are in life.

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