(Closed) How have you changed from 16-21?

posted 9 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

The biggest change for me is that I have become more confident and outspoken than I was in high school.  I’m a lot less shy than I was back then too.  I’m 23 now.

Post # 4
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m much more secure in myself than when I was 15-17. I was bullied up until my mid-teens and that made me a very introverted and angry and self-conscious. Generally I’m a much happier person. My view of people has changed quite a bit – I used to think everyone was an awful person deep down whereas now I’m much more willing to give people a chance. I tend to throw around money less and think more about the long-term future. When I was 19 I started working full time in a high level position and so the responsibilities of that made me more responsible in all areas of my life. Especially with money, I think that’s where I’ve changed most.

Post # 5
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I changed a lot between my teenage years and now. My mom always says I was mature for a teenager with a good head on my shoulder, but geez, I don’t even know how to explain how i changed. I just grew up, even though I never did anything bad as a teenager. I played 3 sports, got excellent grades, and was a well rounded kid in high school. I went to college and it was a whole other world, with new situations and a new workload. I joined a sorority, got an apartment, had internships, accepted a real job offer….I really learned a lot about myself during those 4 years.

I think a lot of it depends on the experiences you go through between those ages and what sort of childhood you had in your teen years. Mine were very different, but i know my mom moved out at 17 and got her own place and was a manager. But i was still playing basketball.

Post # 6
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

When I was 16/17, I was an extremely submissive person. I was a huge people pleaser, and I basically let everyone else make decisions for me. I didn’t have much of a backbone, and I was scared to speak my mind about a lot of things. Now? I know that I am the only one who can make decision for my life, and I’m a LOT more outspoken and headstrong! I am also a lot more confident and secure in myself than I was at 16.

Post # 7
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m 29 so not really in the window you are talking about… but here are some of the ways I think I’ve changed over the years:

From high school to college:

  • Became more confident about my body and less shy
  • Spoke up for myself more
  • Started dating guys who were a better mesh with my personality

From college to now:

  • Started having higher expectations of the people I dated, put up with a lot less BS
  • Discovered what I want to do with my life, became less pretentious about intellectual crap
  • Realized that relationships are about compromise and none are 100% perfect
  • Realized that for me it’s better to have a few true friends than a crowd of acquaintances
  • Grew more comfortable with my own quirks and personality traits


The funny thing is, I get what you’re saying. In a lot of ways I still do feel like the same person I was at 16. I write for teens and feel like I have no trouble relating to high school situations or drama or remembering what it felt like to be in certain situations. I watch a ton of teen TV, read teen mags, and my favorite books are for young adults.

I’m the same person I was then…but I’m also much different, if that makes any sense.

Post # 8
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

WOW… my whole life is a complete 180 from when I was a teenager to now…..


When I was 15 I experienced a MAJOR debilitating depression due to my thyroid (didn’t find that reason out for YEARS) Because of this though I was very insecure and really introverted….. So when a cute older boy showed interest (he was 20) when I was 16 you better believe I went with it… and dropped out of the school that didn’t understand my problem anyways <

this is when I walked into hell and stayed stuck there for 5+ yrs!

Turns out my pick was an abusive alcoholic addict who DJ’d in the Electronic scene… yea I played the part for awhile… drinking/drugs/dancing  but when the abuse got out of hand I wanted out!

Unfortunately that didn’t happen until I was 21 and our son was 2 y/o (he’s what really gave me the strength to say.. umm no! I don’t want that for my family)

NOW at 25…………

I live in a city that I thought I’d NEVER live (that’s a God thing)… Going back to school for my BS in Biology with prereqs for PreMed.. and Am highly Invovled in my Church <—- Which is where I met my now FH! Who is absolutely AMAZING and loves me and my our son really with the love that Jesus talked about.

I never never never would’ve thought my life and I would be where I am today and now when I talk about it I can’t believe that just a few years ago…. “THAT” was my life and who I was.

I know my stories quite different than ya’lls but yea I’m VERY VERY different!.. and I THANK GOD FOR IT! =)

Post # 9
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t know how much I changed between 16 and 21 but I did change a LOT in my 20s. I discovered a lot about who I am, what is important to me and what matters most in my life. I changed my career goals many times. I realized that an unhealthy relationship is NOT better than no relationship and my happiness is not dependent or defined by the happiness of others around me. I learned a lot about friendships and relationships. Basically I grew up. Yes, you can be fundamentally the same person, but life experiences can change a lot about you and well these changes may not be large ones, they effect how you view and interact with the world around you.

At 21 I thought I was with the man I would marry. We fought a lot, but we had a lot of fun and I knew he totally loved me and always would love me. I thought that was enough. It took me years to realize things weren’t right and now I’ve found someone who does love me and just as important is on the same page in life with me and understands me. I shutter to think about where I would have been if I had married the man I was with at 21.

Post # 10
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The only change appearance wise is that I’ve gained a lot of weight, but that’s about it. Oh, and I used to dye my hair some nutso color every month pretty much, but now I’ve come to embrace and even love my natural strawberry blonde.

I’m a lot more relaxed. I used to worry and stress about everything. While I still do worry, it’s not a whole lot. I’ve mellowed quite a bit.

Now, I also have less friends. In high school I had a ton of casual acquaintances, but now I’ve got a few close friends and I’m fine.

I also care a whole lot less about what people think of my looks, appearance, or whatever. I used to spend so much time on my looks and making sure everything was perfect, because I was so worried about what other people thought of me. Now if I want to dress up, I do it for me. 

I’ve matured a lot when it’s come to relationships. I used to be pretty selfish in high school and even at the beginning of me and FI’s relationship. Now I realize that if I want it to work, I have to put forth effort and be giving too. I also came to discover that if I wanted to be in a happy, healthy and successful relationship, I had to stop changing who I was so that guys would like me. In HS, I used to just sort of morph into what the guy wanted. Now I’m just myself, and I’m lucky enough to have found someone who meshes perfectly with who I actually am. It’s worked out pretty well. 🙂

Post # 11
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

Like many of the other ladies, I have changed so much since I was 16 but I can’t really explain how!

I was the “perfect daughter” when I was a teenager. I was in all honors and APs, always on honor roll, volunteered through many clubs, never drank, smoked, or did drugs, never snuck out the house, etc.  I had a boyfriend but he was super clean-cut, came from a great family, and was a star athlete. But oh boy did I think I had the whole world figured out and no one could tell me any different!

At 22 I have the maturity to realize that I don’t have everything figured out. I’ve gone away for school and lived on my own and now I’m back at home finishing up. Those years really helped me mature and grow my confidence.

Fundamentally I am the same person I was at 16 (same values, work ethic, etc) but I am a much different person in how I handle myself and see the world.

Post # 12
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve changed a lot, but they’ve been gradual changes.  

Some of it does have to do with age – I’m much more confident and outgoing now. I don’t feel the same need to prove myself. 

Life choices- for some reason, I didn’t think I could become a psychologist when I took Psych in high school because of the science and stats behind it. Now I know that I’ll fail at times when trying, but that diligence and perseverence make it an attainable goal. 

Along with that, I’ve learned that I can handle stressful situations. Nothing opens your eyes more than being 18, having rent, bills, and other necessary costs slam down on you while entering your first year of college. It was hard as hell, but I felt proud that I did it (and still do.) 

I was also still finding myself. I knew my core values – openmindedness, caring, compassion – but I was struggling to align them with Christianity for years, and I really struggled. It wasn’t until 18 that I had the courage to admit to myself that I was an atheist, and 19 that I admitted it to people besides my fiance. 

Those changes all came while I was with my fiance (then boyfriend) obviously, since we’ve been together since 14 and haven’t broken up. We’re lucky in that our core personality traits are similar enough that we changed similarly. Our “ideal” lives have changed many times over, and each time we were able to be supportive and unselfish while still making sure we both had good career opportunities. The changes could have been the end of our relationship, but I really believe our communication and that we’re best friends ended up making our relationship stronger. That’s why I’m confident that we won’t “change too much” when getting married at 22. Of course we’ll change – but we’ll continue to talk openly and often about it, and think about each other as well as ourselves.

Post # 13
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am almost 29 now. I don’t think I changed much between 16-21, but I definitely did a lot of changing between 21-25. I’ve been pretty stable since 25 and hopefully will continue to be so Wink

Post # 14
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My morals and ethics didn’t change but how I approached the world and my spot in it changed drastically. I mean at 16 I was just learning how to drive – suddenly I could go places.  At 21, that’s clearly old hat as most have lived on their own, established themselves as independent of their family and history.  But I’ve done significant changing since 21 as well.  I mean, at 21 I was deciding who I wanted to be as a real member of my community, dating a boy who was also deciding.  It’s a good thing we broke up, because it turns out we had different ideas of our place in the world.  Nice guy, wish him the best – but I’m glad I didn’t go down his path with him because I’m much happier now having found a path of my own.

Post # 15
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

From 16-21 I think I really started to learn about the world around me more and what kinds of possibilities are out there in terms of meeting new people, new places, different cultures/beliefs/politics/ideas.

Althought my parents had exposed me to many wonderful things and places, I really began to explore and learn for myself (especially in college).

Up until around 16 years old, we are really shaped by the environment around us, but at 16 and up, we can make the decisions ourselves.


Post # 16
2236 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You really don’t think that you’ve changed from the age of 15 to now?  Either you mentally developed VERY young, or you still haven’t matured completely..

When you were 15 did you know what you wanted in life?  I can tell you when I was 15 if you told me in 7 years I’ll live in Pittsburgh, work for a conservative company, and have 3 dogs and 2 cats while being engaged to a guy that is 4 inches shorter then I am, I would have laughed in your face.  Sure, there are many fundamental elements that are similar, but goals change drastically from being a young teenager to a college grad.

If you really haven’t changed, then you are a rarity, and I don’t recommend you start telling 16 year olds that they should get married, because MOST people change drastically in the years after being 16.

Sorry if this sounds rude, I just honestly got taken aback by your post.

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