(Closed) How have you handled your emotions as the wedding approaches? *long*

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hi we’re almost date twins!  And I have a shower with my future in laws this Saturday – how funny is that 🙂

I have a lot of family issues going on – my family is hung up on my ex (from 3 years ago!), the no kids thing, and other issues. 

Basically, and I know some people feel different but this day is not about my family or his family – this is about my Fiance and I creating our own family, it’s about us not them.  When we get the why weren’t my kids invited thing I tell them honestly because there will be alcohol there and I don’t want a young child or a baby at an evening ceremony and reception.  In my opinion it’s not appropiate.  I say that I understand that most of the adults in the family will be there, and if they feel that they are unable to leave their (for some teenage) children at home or with a babysitter for a few hours to celebrate with their


(insert direct family relation here), then that’s their choice.  I’ve just had to get over it sadly.  I’ve had to realize that if people want to be there and they truly care they will be – those that don’t won’t. 

It’s a hard realization to come to, but honestly it’s helped me stress wise.

Post # 5
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

quite honestly both!  We have approximately 35 kids in the family between the two of us.  My family lives like 3 hours away and one of my step-aunts doesn’t trust her two (teenage – like 16 and 17) children to be that far away from her.  His family has a ton of kids.  We’re really close to two of his adult cousins (like outside of family events) so as they’re adults (21 and 23) they’re invited with SO’s.  So his other aunt doesn’t understand why her children (8 and 12) aren’t invited.  It’s just a nightmare.  But basically (and I’m not the most delicate person) I’m like “well they’re old enough to stay at home by themselves or with a babysitter – family and friends that really want to be there and care about us will do everything they can to be there.  We understand if you’re not able to make those type of accomidations to celebrate with us.” 

Like I said I’m not delicate with the issue.  I’m tired of dealing with it.  It’s just not about them, it’s not about your kids, it’s just not.  So either make child care arrangments or don’t – but stop bugging me because my patience is at wits end. LOL

Post # 7
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Super sorry about losing your job!  It’s so tough footing the bill (we are too) without that and family as added stress.  Big HUGS!

Like you I tend to have a very “strong” personality and many view me as a b!tch because I speak my mind and stick to what I want.  I learned really young in a really bad way that it’s impossible to please everyone and to be happy myself.  I’ve decided (and perhaps some view it as selfish) to put my and my FI’s happiness above anyone elses. 

I’m not a kid person personally (and neither is my FI)…they drive me crazy – so we don’t want them there.  I know that we would be worrying about kids getting alcohol or a baby screaming while we’re saying out vows instead of focusing on what the day is about. 

If you nor your Fiance really want kids there, then y’all should stick to your guns despite pissing people off.  But he definitely has to back you up 🙂  It’s really good that y’all recogize that might be an issue and are working on it!

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