Post # 1
I’m asking because I recently shared my possible first dance song with my Maid/Matron of Honor and she wasn’t very impressed. As in, she didn’t say anything bad about it, but she didn’t say anything good either. Fast forward to now and I bring it up on Facebook saying that I know it’s a bit cheesy but when I hear it I feel uplifted and sure of my choice. She responded by saying ‘it is probably the cheesiest song in the world’ but if it means something to me then I should go for it. Yes, it has some meaning for my Fiance and I, but mostly we just really like it as a song. She then went on to say ‘I would want to slow dance but I couldn’t deal with the a massive cheese number. We would both be cringing.’ So now I’m feeling like people are going to be cringing at our first dance and just feeling generally bad about the song Fiance and I earmarked as a first dance song the very first time we heard it. HMPH.
In this situation I think I wish she had been less honest and said something like ‘it’s a lovely song’ and just carried on with her day. Now I have all sorts of doubts about my song. For reference the song is Josh Groban’s version of ‘I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)’.
How honest do you want people to be when voicing opinions on things you have chosen for your wedding?
Post # 3
I don’t care what anyone has to say about my wedding. Nothing. Its my wedding. As long as my fiance and myself are happy, I am happy LoL
Post # 4
@Demi-chan: You should do what makes YOU happy. Pick the song you like, because it’s your day. Who cares what Maid/Matron of Honor thinks about the song, she’s not the one who has to dance to it.
Post # 5
@Demi-chan: if it’s an unsolicited opinion, i don’t want to hear it at all, actually. if i’ve asked, i want people to be 100% honest.
Post # 6
@Demi-chan: ps, dance to the song you want. Fiance and i are dancing to a song that is very odd as a first dance song, but its ‘our’ song, and we’re stickin’ to it. 😉
Post # 7
99.8% of first dance songs, no matter what people tell the bride and groom, and crazy cheesy and played-out. It just is what it is, and I’m sure everyone will say the same about ours. So don’t let that deter you.
I’m trying to think of a way to phrase this that doesn’t paint me as arrogant…but I really don’t ask for peoples opinions on much of anything. Maybe something truly serious where I need sound advice, but things like wedding details, no. And people don’t volunteer their opinions on my choices either at this point, because the response they are met with is usually cold at best. I simply do not care.
However, I am a massive hypocrite when it comes to people asking my opinion. I desperately do not want to hurt anyones feelings on things that are issues of personal taste, like decor or music or dress. It’s your life, do as you please. If someone had picked a hideous dress and loved it, I would lie through my teeth and tell them it’s fabulous. If they pressed me further, I would very, very gently give input. But right out of the gate? I will lie to spare feelings.
Post # 8
@badabing88: +1. I don’t ask for opinions on wedding related stuff because the only opinions that matters are my own and FI’s. In general, I make the best decisions that I’m capable of making and I don’t open myself up to judgement because I know not everyone will agree with me. I don’t want to second guess myself, so I just don’t ask. Unsolicited advice is generally met with coldness too.
Having said that, I do ask FI’s opinion before I make big decisions because he is my life partner and how he feels matters. Anyone else who just thinks they are the expert on my life? Not so much. I do have trusted folks I go to – mostly my siblings – if I need a dose of perspective, but I don’t discuss my relationship with anyone other than Fiance. If I do ask though, I want the truth (even if it’s hard to hear). When I’m asked, I give the truth as I see because I can’t lie.
Post # 9
I don’t volunteer any wedding information to anyone, unless they ask. Part of it because I don’t like talking about me me me, and partly because I don’t need to know what anyone else thinks. I’ll never post anything on here asking for opinions or what would you do type scenarios. If you like something, that’s all that matters. It’s your personal choice, and not everyone has the same taste/style.
Post # 10
When I was younger, I pussyfooted around issues and didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Eventually, I realized it didn’t help anyone out. It was poor communication.
I am very blunt. I am overly polite and try to be tactful, but when directly asked for my input on something, I will speak up. If my opinion is not invited, I’ll perhaps be nicer about it, but when asked for an honest opinion? That’s what they get.
I want the same from other people. I do as I want done to me.
Post # 11
@badabing88: I really don’t ask for peoples opinions on much of anything. Maybe something truly serious where I need sound advice, but things like wedding details, no.
This. Your wedding, your choice.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
People were not allowed to voice opinions on my decisions in the first place. I’ve planned complicated events before and I know how to throw a damn good party where my guests are well taken care of. Since I knew what I was doing, I felt no need to solicit opinions from anyone, and they all knew me well enough to know that their opinions were to be kept to themselves.
Post # 14
@Demi-chan: now I’m curious what your song is?
I didn’t really have this problem becasue I don’t really care what people think. most things I did not ask anyone’s opinoions on, except Fiance. He is the only one who matters in this. People did want me to change color scheme, I didn’t.
I did poll friends about which jewlery I should wear. All but SIL said the one I did not chose! Whaatever, it’s YOUR decision. Stop dwelling on what people think.
Post # 15
@MrsPanda99: I don’t ask for opinions on wedding related stuff because the only opinions that matters are my own and FI’s.
This. I did ask for my FMIL’s help dress shopping and picking flowers because I know fuck all about flowers, but it is for this very reason that we are choosing to keep certain details to ourselves.
As far as honesty goes, I want the truth but don’t be an asshole. IF I ask for your opinion, it’s because I want your thoughts, but be tactful about it.
Post # 16
Eh, I prefer brutal honesty. If something I picked out sucks, tell me it sucks. Then again, when I planned my wedding I didn’t use magazines, pinterest, wedding planner, wedding shows, etc.; it was easier just to think of my own ideas.