(Closed) How I got over myself and learned to love my ring

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2013

 

@MissTillie: great post! i felt the same way about my ring at first. then after a week of wearing it, i dropped it off at the jeweler’s to get resized. because it’s a big company here in sd, resizing took several days. i felt so naked without it too! lol

Post # 47
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

When my fiance’ and I first started looking at engagement rings about a year and 1/2 ago, I wanted at least a .75 carat diamond and NOTHING smaller. We were both very young then, and I wasn’t expecting proposal any time soon, so I figured he would have plenty of time to save for it. However, my fiance’ expressed to me sometme later that the ring I wanted was a little out of his price range. I was upset, but I began to look around for smaller rings. Over the course of a year, I fell in love with several different smaller rings and knew I would be happy with one. Then, when my fiance proposed, I learned that the diamond was .67 carat, close to what I originally wanted, and it was also his grandmother’s, so it is very special to us. I now could not imagine a more perfect ring for myself, it is of unbelievable quality, and it looks better than perfect on my hand! πŸ™‚

 

Ladies, it really is all how you look at it. I wear a ring many women would snuff off but i am 100% perfectly A-ok with it, and I like it so much better than their gaudy rings anyway!

 

Post # 48
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m very glad to see this post! My fiance also bought me a small ring, at my request, because I don’t typically wear large or flashy jewelery. My only requests were white gold, small, and unique! I’m a size 7.5, so my fingers are also pretty large, and my ring is a .25 carat Everlon from Zales. I love it! But after getting a few backhanded compliments like “how cute” and “aww, that’s sweet” from people looking at the ring…and after my housemate got engaged 3 days later with an ENORMOUS diamond in a diamond setting that easily cost 5x what my ring did…it’s easy to feel like your ring is a bit inadequate and lose sight of what really matters! 

Post # 49
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Valdrine: I love that ring, that’s the one I wanted initally but ended up with something a little different.  I fell in love with the symbolism of the love knot……so meaningful, regardless of what “carat” it is!

Just like everything else about ourselves (and our weddings?), I just wish we women would be easier on ourselves regarding what we have vs. what we “should” have, or what others tell us we should have compared to what they have.  An engagement gift (whether a ring or whatever, my friend got an engagement iPod and loved it!) is meant to be a physical representation of our commitment and love.  In this case, size doesn’t matter, or shouldn’t matter. It’s aallllllll about the intention.

When I got my ring (it’s a half eternity band), one relative asked if it is an engagement ring, and before I could even answer, my aunt said, “Of course it isn’t, it’s not a solitare!” I let it slide at the time to not cause a scene, but come on! 

 

Post # 50
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@valdrine

I love your ring! I think it is beautiful and looks great on your hand! Perfect, in fact!

Post # 51
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

That’s great that you’ve come to appreciate your ring–thanks for sharing! 

Post # 52
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@cdncinnamongirl and mammamia:


Thanks so much! πŸ™‚ And wow, that comment from your aunt…I’m impressed you let it slide! Good for you!

Post # 53
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is an interesting topic. I’m glad you all love your rings. One perspective that isn’t really brought up often is it’s not materialistic when you don’t like your ring and still marry your SO. I don’t care for my ring at all. But, I love my husband and that’s why I married him even though the ring isn’t what I wanted.

Post # 54
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Great post.. I felt similar for a while too. I told my Fiance that I wanted a round solitare, with a thin band with little tiny diamonds on it. He ended up picking out a white gold very high quality .50ct ring with four VERY tiny diamonds on each side of the centre stone. He took my “thin band” request very seriously, becuase he knew I really didn’t want a thick band. I guess I just hoped the band would be more blingy- and it didn’t help that my co-worker and very close friend had my DREAM ring!! I did love it, but I just always wished it was more sparkly on the band.. until I started getting many compliments from random people.. manicurist, cashier at the grocery store etc that they loved how classic my ring is- and classic is almost different these days! Plus I can get a super sparkly wedding band πŸ™‚

PS.. I think your ring is beautiful. It’s so timeless and classic, yet modern with the princess cut. I love the yellow gold πŸ™‚

Post # 55
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I love this thread and I love everyone’s rings! They’re ALL stunning, regardless of shape, size, or stone. πŸ™‚ x

Post # 57
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Awe!! Great story πŸ™‚

Post # 58
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Great story for me in my life right now =) Thanks for sharing!

Post # 60
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Great story! A good life lesson in general. Sweating the small stuff can bring us the misery we deserve if we do that. The thing to ‘sweat’ is the husband – not the ring, or other details.

I definitely find myself sweating the small stuff sometimes. I was even starting to ‘sweat’ the fact that my bf’s proposal isn’t going to be a big surprise…until I realized that the only thing marring the upcoming proposal is the bad attitude I was starting to get! So now I’m just happily anticipating πŸ™‚

I also actually love your ring, OP. It’s a classic, and very elegant.

Post # 61
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MissTillie:  I love your post! It is nearly identical to my experience, and gives me further clarity, pardon the pun. I felt like a pretty horrible person because, despite 3 insanely romantic proposals, I was very disappointed in my ring. Including the tiny accent diamonds, it’s a total weight of 1/5 carat, and is listed as a promise ring on the site of the store where he purchased it. But… looks-wise it’s exactly what I wanted. He had them change the band to rose gold and the solitaire to a blue diamond instead of white. He was proud that, although small, he’d made sure the diamond was of the best quality.

After all he went through to make the experience magical and the work he did to follow my wishes, I felt so guilty being disappointed. I wallowed in self-loathing for about a week, until one day I forgot to wear my ring. I felt as nekked as the day I was born and missed it so much my finger itched. On that same day he came over to my place, and we talked about his job hunt (he just graduated with a masters), and while he’s made great progress, he looked so forlorn and tired. I realized then that he’d done his very best for me, and saved up as much as he could to make me happy with a special ring. I look at it now and see a snapshot of the place we’re in at this moment in our lives, where we’re still struggling to save and build a life together. It’s my tiny Hope Diamond, my reminder that our resources may be meager, but regardless, our future is rich. And when the sun hits it just right, its unique colors blaze.

I think our society spreads a poison concerning engagement rings, where the stone size equals the amount of love behind it. Women cut each other down with comparisons and snide remarks. My embarrassment came from fearing those comparisons, which is an emotion I don’t want to indulge in, especially when I see how much he loves me. I’m very happy to find solidarity in this board!

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