Member- Saffishly
- 8 years ago
I always knew that I would be a mother someday.
As a little girl, I would always tell everyone “one day, I’m going to have a baby of my own!”, and people laughed. Of course they laughed. I was a child, talking about having a child of my own.. but I KNEW I’d someday be a mom.
Flash forward a few years to my teenage years, and I was volunteering all of my after-school time to help out at a community center with babies, and children 5-10. I was there every single day, including summer camp and march break.
Instead of doing normal things that most teenagers want to do, I was volunteering to take care of kids.
Flash forward a bit more to 17. I started dating in long term relationships, with the idea of getting married and having children. If the guy didn’t eventually want children, it was a dealbreaker, and I would not even give him the light of day. If he was not sure, it was STILL a dealbreaker, because I saw that as a possible no, so I didn’t want to waste my time.
I loved children. I loved them with every single part of my being. They were wonderful, adorable, magical, special, and there was nothing else in the world that I wanted more than to get married and become a mom.
Flash forward to December last year.
I was leaving my controlling ex boyfriend who had made my life hell, and I had nothing left in my life. I felt empty. Sad that my relationship had failed, thinking that I would NEVER find someone to marry and have kids with.
Flash forward to May. One of my best friends was telling me about a dating app (POF), as I had decided that I was ready to date again.
I then chickened out and changed my mind, but she begged me to try it out since she had met her boyfriend on there. I finally agreed to join, but said that I would NOT meet anyone.
Well, 2 weeks later I was talking to a guy (AN) and he asked me out on a date, and I agreed to go. He was a single father of 2 kids, the mother had left after mistreating them, wanted nothing to do with them, and is not in the picture whatsoever.
They are two little boys: (WY) who’s 4, and (LO) who’s 1.
I still wasn’t too sure how I felt about this. I always wanted to be a mom, but never thought about step kids. I always assumed I would have my own.
But I agreed to meet AN and our first date was amazing! (bonus points because he brought me a flower!) (:
He talked about the kids a bit and different things, we realized we had ALOT in common, similar goals, etc, and we spend 6 hours together walking around a park and then he brought me to work after, gave me a hug goodbye, and left. And neither one of us wanted to leave.
We schedualed another date, and we finally had our first kiss.
One more date and we made it official. We were a couple now! 😀
On our 4th date: he brought the kids! The first time meeting them.
We went to the mall, and WY was very shy and hid behind AN the whole time and didn’t really speak much.
Then AN asked me to go back to his parents house for supper.
So fourth date: meet the kids, AND the parents! Wow.
The night went extremely well, the kids opened up a bit more to me, and I felt that his parents really liked me!
I spent every 2nd night with the kids and at his parents house since then. Building a relationship with everyone. Things went quickly since then. The kids opened up more and more and now I am their full-time mother. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I was a bit terrified in the beginning: asking myself a whole bunch of questions like “what if they don’t like me?”, “what if his parents don’t like me?”, “what if I mess up?”, “what if I do a bad job?”, “what if Im not cut out to be a mom?”
But I told myself not to worry, and continued on.
So I went from (in December) having absolutely nothing and no friends, to being a 23 year old stepmom to 2 little boys, trying to build a relationship with my boyfriend, his family, and the boys all at the exact same time.
It’s been 3 months since me and AN started dating, but he’s the one I’ll marry.
I have also gotten so close with my stepsons, and have built a wonderful relationship with them.
So now I am juggling work, friends, family, boyfriend, children.. and I am doing an amazing job at it. I love those boys. I really truly LOVE them, and they love me.
They call me mom. I call them my sons.
They have accepted me into their lives, and I am loving every minute of it.
Whether I am now carrying a pretending-to-be-asleep 50lb 4 year old through public transit, or finding random objects in my schoolbag at work, or sliding down the slide at the park for the 100th time that day.. I’m loving it.
Temper tantrums, grass fights, sulking, and all.
I am already looking forward to them going to school, growing up, and all the years to come that we will all spend together, as a happy family.
My life has gotten ALOT more busy now, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I love those boys, and I always KNEW that I would someday be a mom.
And that someday’s now. (:
