Post # 1
I was reading an interesting article the other day about how one of the most important traits for predicting compatibility between two people is their political views.
At first I thought this was nonsense. I don’t actually care in theory what someone’s views are, within reason.
But when I think about it, the people I have had the best relationships with in the past were those with the same political views as me! Not because we had drawn out insightful conversations about politics (I kind of hate politics), but because political views I think speak to your basic values and priorities as a person.
What do you think? does it matter to you?
Post # 3
@freshflowers: I am, unfortunately, quite ignorant when it comes to politics. Fiance is the same. I guess we have similar views in that politics are not a big part of our lives?
I agree with you completely here: “…but because political views I think speak to your basic values and priorities as a person”. I think it comes down to this.
Post # 4
@PermaStudent: same, we are both fairly ignorant when it comes to politics. Just isn’t important to us, although we should probably become more educated on the subject!
Post # 5
I think it depends on how strongly either partner feels about politics. My husband and I are both moderately interested in politics and on the same relative side, although he leans a little more to the one side than me. It works fine. But I also dated a guy for a really long time who was the opposite of me and felt pretty strongly about it, and it still worked out fine (definitely wasn’t the reason we broke up).
I think that if politics is a big part of your life, then yes, you may be better suited with someone who feels how you do.
Post # 6
@freshflowers: For me it’s pretty important that they are the same or at least very similar. We watch the news and read quite regularly and if I comment on something I don’t want to always get into a disagreement about it. 🙂
Post # 7
I think its not so important that your politcal views line up. THe more critical thing is how you guys express and communicate them. Fiance and I have different political views but we have come to a truce of sorts and it works for us. But if we were both outspoken about it and fought a lot about it then it would never work out.
Post # 8
@freshflowers: My Fiance and I have almost identical political views, but he does like to play devil’s advocate every time elections come around. It makes for good debate.
The only difference between us really is that he is an “independent” and I’m a card carrying member of my party. If we were to take a political compass quiz, we’d end up close to each other, and he usually votes for my candidate anyway. During the last federal election, he voted another way, and I respect him for it.
In terms of our basic values, they line up for the most part, but this may have to do with the fact that we practically grew up together.
Post # 9
but because political views I think speak to your basic values and priorities as a person
I disagree with that to an extent, as people could have similar values and priorities but have different politicial views because they believe that different methods are the best way to achieve the same thing. That’s what occurs with Darling Husband and I on some issues.
I think I would have a tough time being with anyone who fell at an extreme position though. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened if someone was extremely involved in politics as well, I’m not sure if that would have worked well for me or not.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
You don’t have to agree on everything but it helps to have similar views on the big topics and be able to have civilized discussions about the topics you differ on. I am a dead center of the road moderate while my husband is the typical bleeding heart liberal (progressive). We have great conversations on politics because we differ slightly.
Post # 11
I think it is more to do with how those views affect your life and how strongly you feel about them. I am fairly moderate on pretty much everything, couple issues I’m not. Dh is mostly apathetic and has a few issues he feels strongly about and luckily they line up mostly. I do think it can be an issue when the political views are extreme opposite because let’s face it, the far left and the far right are both pretty nasty to each other and views that far apart are setting you up for conflict, especially on hot topic issues.
Post # 12
I would have trouble being with someone who was ignorant about politics and didn’t have views.
Post # 13
In Québec the politics is mainly polarized between people who wish we would become an independant country, and people who are against (or simply just don’t feel the need for independance). I couldn’t be with someone who would strongly feel about Québec’s independance as a country and militate for it. I really can’t stand those people and their stupid propaganda against the English (Canadians), against immigration and multiculturalism (which I believe in), all that based on the fact that somewhere in the 18th century France lost against England. I look at New Brunswick which is a good example for us of how both anglophone and francophone cultures have survived and it’s probably the most ”bilingual” of all Provinces in Canada, and it gives me hope. I don’t consider myself threatened by Canada or people who speak English like the people militating for independance try to do. They lack sense of intellectual criticism and I can’t envision being in a relationship with someone who would only repeat texts they learned by heart instead of thinking by themselves, and would always be pessimistic about the future.
I also couldn’t be with a conservative person who would be pro-war or against abortion, and I wouldn’t like to be with someone who feels strongly against homosexuality either. I don’t think it’s linked to a political party in particular, but there are values that I absolutely need to share with my SO. Those would be dealbreakers if not shared.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@freshflowers: I care a little bit about the views (I don’t think I could be with someone who doesn’t believe in gay rights, someone who is pro-life, etc.), but I think what’s more important is that I be able to get along with them and that their views don’t affect us at all. There are some things that my SO and I don’t have the same views on (religion), but we’re both extremely open-minded and welcoming of the other person’s views, so that’s what allows us to work.
Post # 15
It was extremely important to me. I don’t think your views have to align perfectly, but having an interest in the world around us was a big deal to me, especially in a partner.
Post # 16
@mrspinesol: I agree about not being able to be with someone with really radical views. take gay rights for example, I am ok with a variety of people having a variety of opinions. I think being with someone as my LIFE PARTNER who was very radically and vocally against gay rights would make me really upset.
growing up my father was never comfortable with the concept of gay marriage or anything like that. however, he was always respectful about it, if that makes sense. If you asked him his views, he wouldn’t lie. He would vote against gay marriage. But he also understood that there were a lot of people who disagreed with him and he didn’t have a problem with that. and if either of his children came out as being gay, he would internalily struggle with it I think, but no way would he have treated either of us differently.
I would be ok with that type of view on the topic, even though it does not like up with mine. as long as the person is respectful with their views and overall open minded