everythingpink : oh god, i could write a whole novel on this wedding. here are just a few of the highlights though:
-email invite for a “black tie optional” wedding. uhm, no. (but apparently paper invites existed, since they were on the shot list for the photographer..)
-it was a monday night wedding, on the west coast. 75% of the guests were from the east coast. not only was it on a monday, but this all meant it was necessary to take tuesday off from work, too, as there were no flights (not even red-eyes) that could get you back in time to work tuesday.
-wedding was 4:30 in the afternoon. in the US, a black tie affair must start no earlier than 6pm. to add insult to injury, the “invitation time” was 4:30 – but the couple didn’t even plan to start until 5 (husband was the best man and i saw the day of schedule).
-the bride sent out an email to the groomsmen reminding them that all their dates should be in “long formal gowns!!!” again, no. black-tie optional permits women to wear a below-the-knee dressy cocktail dress. i don’t HAVE to wear a full length gown to your wedding.
-ceremony was outside on grass. wedding website said “no heels” for the ceremony, and then said “please bring a change of shoes for dancing.” 1) can’t be black tie if heels aren’t allowed. 2) if i’m not wearing heels to start with, why do i need to change my shoes for dancing…unless you want me to change INTO heels to dance? uh, no and no.
-on the wedding website it also said “Please remember that white and red and reserved for the bride only!!!” Ugh. Bride was Chinese, so I get both the white and red thing – but either all your guests get it too, or else if they don’t it would be helpful to supply the appropriate cultural context/explanation for it so you don’t just sound demanding. (There was no more explanation anywhere besides that statement). To top it all off – THE BRIDE NEVER WORE RED. She wore a white american wedding dress the whole night. I thought maybe she was going to change or something. Nope. Also, bridesmaids were never in red – flowers weren’t even red. No red anywhere in sight.
I could keep going…seriously..I was a very frustrating wedding that I would have gladly skipped except that husband was Best Man and groom is like family to him. So we kinda felt obligated to attend this thing.
ETA: I wore a pale blush knee-length beaded tulle cocktail dress with my white satin wedding wedges 😛 because i’m passive-aggressive like that sometimes and didn’t want spend $100 on a RTR gown for this thing.