(Closed) How important is a ring when a guy proposes?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Do you think a man has to have a ring when he proposes?

    Yes! I want my sparkly when he asks

    No, we can pick it out later together

    I don't care about getting a ring, as long as he asks me in the first place

    If it's being worked on still and stalls his plans, then it can wait

    Other (will explain more below)

  • Post # 3
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    In your situtation, I think not having a ring when he asks would be fine as long as you are okay with it.  I selected yes in the poll though because for me personally, I would want the ring at the time of the proposal. 


    Post # 4
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    While I would prefer to have a ring when I am proposed to, I don’t think it’s the most important element. That honor goes for the actual asking. Besides, plenty of couples choose not to have engagement rings. As long as you are comfortable with not having a ring immediately, it’d be a valid option. 🙂

    Post # 5
    4042 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think its sweet that your guy asked you about it. I don’t think you need a ring to be engaged.

    Post # 7
    421 posts
    Helper bee

    I told him the other day that I dont need a ring when he proposes, although I would like it. If he’s ready to propose then I want him to do it ring or not.

    ETA: I think he already has it anyway so this isnt a worry for me. If it were a matter of money or not knowing what to get then like I said id be just as excited with just the proposal with a ring later.

    Post # 8
    8468 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Wow… If you are OK with it, then you’re a better person than I am. I would have been floored if  no ring came with the proposal, especially since I picked it out! 

    Post # 9
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We kinda did it weird. He asked me a few years ago when we were in bed and even though I said yes we didn’t consider ourselves engaged at all. It wasn’t until a few years later he was on his knee with the ring we considered ourselves engaged and actually getting married. So, obviously for us, it was very important. If he couldn’t afford the ring, we couldn’t afford to get married.

    Post # 10
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I had never really been a huge fan of the engagement ring tradition (I’m quite the super duper feminist) and so I’d always told my bf (at the time) that I didn’t want one. However, right before we decided to get engaged (no proposal, again my request) my mom gave me the engagement ring my dad had given her. I was going to have the diamond reset into a RHR. But then we decided that since he wasn’t doing the major purchasing of the ring (because the most expensive part of it already belonged to me) it no longer bothered my inner feminist for me to wear it as an engagement ring. So after we got engaged we looked around and designed a setting together, which he then had custom made. I got my completed ring a few months after we got engaged.

    Post # 11
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If you’re ok with not getting a ring right away than go ahead with it.  The intent of marriage is more important than the ring anyway but for me getting a ring at the same time was very important to me.

    Post # 12
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My SO, now DH, and I lived together always with the intention of marrying at some point. We bought the ingredients for a ring and sent them off to a designer out of town. That poor man suffered 2 big accidents while he was working on our ring and my guy did not believe in proposing until he had a ring to go with it. It took 6 months to get the completed ring. I didn’t know it had been sent and my guy got it just as we were going away for a weekend to celebrate our third anniversary together. I was so shocked when he pulled out the ring and proposed! Definitely worth waiting for 🙂

    Post # 14
    1318 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    For me, a ring was super important. He absolutely had to have a ring! However, I wouldn’t have cared if it was a $20 ring or a $20,000 ring. I just wanted everyone in the world to be able to instantly tell that I was engaged to the love of my life. 

    Post # 15
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Haha, when he proposed I would have been fine with no ring or a simple ring (which is what I got, yay!).

    The one thing that wouldn’t have been acceptable is if he had gotten me something huge and jewel-laden. I would have turned and walked away out of embarassment. Though I’m honestly the opposite of most girls. I wanted a couch proposal, lol. Turns out I got the fireworks, disneyland one. XD

    Post # 16
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    If everything was spontaneous, I wouldn’t mind having a proposal without a ring.  But now that we have talked about it for a year and a half now and looked at rings, talked about it endlessly, etc. AND I’ve been kept waiting for many months and I have more months to keep waiting, so the ring is non-negotiable at this point. His excuse is “saving for the ring” so I’m not going to wait and not have a ring!

    In your situation, OP, are you planning on not announcing that you are engaged at first?

    Plus, if we got it a week or so later it’d be like two surprises all in one week and we could secretly enjoy being engaged for a bit with no pressure about dates, etc. from any one else like our families.

    Are you waiting for the ring before you announce anything or just to enjoy the engagement privately first?  If I were you, that may be a good plan because as soon as you announce your engagement you get 2 questions- Have you set a date?  And let’s see the ring!! So just be prepared for that!! 🙂


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