(Closed) How important is having similar careers to you??

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
35 posts
Newbee

@OUgal0004:  Sorry, I don’t mean to thread-jack, but what does your husband do? My bf (soon-to-be FI) and I are in a similar situation; I am going to school for a business degree and he is training to become an aviation/airframe mechanic. Thanks for your help! (again, sorry to thread-jack!)

Post # 33
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I wouldn’t use the word dumb, but yeah….

A career/job is not that important factor for a long term relationship, I would be more concerned if you had different values, goals in life, that type of stuff.

By values and goals I mean whatever is truly important to you.

Post # 34
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I never thought I would want a blue collar guy… My husband works in a blue collar industry.  ’nuff said!

Post # 35
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@truetexanbee:  My Fiance is a Union Ironworker, and I am in healthcare administration!  I leave the house every day in a suit, and he leaves in jeans and grundgy sweatshirts.  He works outdoors – in the elements, and I am in a warm, cozy office.  He works with his hands, I work with my mind.  I have a Bachelor’s Degree, and certifications, and he has a High School Diploma and worked up to a Journeyman 🙂  

I am enthralled by what he does, and love to hear his day-to-day stories.  He is often perplexed by what I do, but loves to listen to me as well.  I thought I would want someone equally ‘educated’ as I am, via a college degree or higher, but I can tell you he is way smarter than I am, and equally educated in different ways!  And, he makes double what I make, of which my take home pay is not too shabby at all!!!  

Post # 36
Member
6117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@chicagoworkinggirl:  H and I are both in engineering/science fields.  That just means our inner nerds are compatible.

 

However, if one of us were an opera singer and gone 9 months out of the year – then I can see careers affecting the relationship.  We know a couple where one is an opera singer, but the H is a film music composer so I guess they just know what it has to be like to get work.

 

In my family, being from the Chicago area, all the men in the family are pipe fitters.  I would never date a pipe fitter because I see the culture.  Maybe it’s specific to southside Chicago and the Irish heritage, but my dad, my grandpa, all my uncles, all my male cousins are in it.  It’s like a cult.  They drink heavily even on the job, have no regard for general health (smoking, all overweight), die at the age of 52.  It’s dangerous (asbestos, heights, cold temps, 24 hours shifts).  For those reasons I would never date a pipe fitter.

 

That’s a pretty specific example based on personal experience.

 

But in your situation, I would just see how it goes. 

Post # 37
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@chicagoworkinggirl:  Not that important…I work in an office job for a pretty high end law firm. I wear heels and dress clothes to work downtown every day. My Fiance drives semi’s and hauls fuel for a living…

Post # 38
Member
5272 posts
Bee Keeper

I work in an office in insurance and my husband is an auto mechanic (owns his own shop). I like that we dont have the same type of job cause I dont want to discuss insurance all day! Plus it’s nice to have someone to fix my car for free 🙂

Post # 39
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I don’t think it’s about careers being different, it’s more about whether the two of you have similar enough interests in general. I don’t think it should make a difference what each of you do when you are at work. but when you get home and your conversations and activities are not interesting to each other then yeah, that could be a problem. 

Post # 40
Member
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You certainly can’t expect your partner to have the same career goals as you. I’d be happy if I worked in an office and my husband was a farmer! As long as he loved doing it and we could pay our bills. As long as someone has career goals, and a job (or at least are trying to get one, say they got laid off), that’s all that should REALLY matter on the job front. It’s when you getinto your personal lives that you really need to have a least something in common.

And how boring would it be if say, you were both lawyers. You’d basically never leave work because what else would you talk about? As it is, we both work in offices, and we NEVER talk about work, because it’s boring.

Post # 41
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

chicagoworkinggirl

my Darling Husband grew up in a town of like 50 people. he didnt even have roads… hes a commercial fisherman who never had sports in school, girlfriends, or dances. he has totally different views on life and society. But i love him and it makes him unique. it spices things up. plus having a different opintion leads to some good debates 😉  leaves room for him to teach you somethings and for you to teach him. i on the other hand work at a hospital. but when i met him i was going to college (where he dropped out) and i was working at a coffee shop so… totally different and i love it.

Post # 42
Member
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I wouldn’t worry about it! Besides it’s nice if you have differen’t lives outside the home, it gives you something interesting to talk to each other about. 

Post # 43
Member
3870 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My SO and I have COMPLETELY different careers and I would never have thought otherwise about pursuing him because of it. He works for UPS and opted to enter the world of “trade” work as opposed to me who is finishing my master’s and barreling right on through to my Ph.D and the world of literary flightiness. 

In my opinion, as long as he is a good person and a hard worker, I can’t see why you wouldn’t want to pursue it. Dismissing someone right off the bat because of different careers is a little extreme. 

Post # 44
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it’s overcomable. Some differences in occupations can be hard (aka opposite schedules) but it can also be difficult in the same occupation (if you both work tons of hours). Some of your general interests also seem different, but that’s okay. You’ll still haev friends and co-workers to discuss Forbes! I definitely think it’s worth a shot!

Post # 45
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think it necessarily is a big deal. However, although I don’t know him, to me it sounds like the only issue I could see is if eventually he is not stimulating enough and you get bored because you don’t have enough common ground in conversations. On the other hand, if he is at least shows interest in learning about your favorite topics and work and you about his work it could lead to a pretty interesting dinamic!

Post # 46
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t really see it as a big deal. He’s a master control operator for a local news station and I’m a social work student. It makes conversations interesting because this way we can learn things about one another’s field! He has ambitions of writing and filming his own TV series and I just want to work with hospice patients. We help each other work toward achieving our goals, no matter how different they may be.

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