(Closed) Do you care if you fit in at work/socialize with work people outside of work?

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 31
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

I could care less if I am, but yes, I am friends with many people at work. I have also been at the same place for 14 years, so I guess that part comes along with it. I may hang out on occassion with 1 or 2 of the girls outside of work, but that is def not all the time. I go to work to put my 8 hrs in and then go home. Being friends with the people there is a benefit, but not a make or break deal.

Post # 32
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Nope. I have close friends outside of work that I don’t get to see as muach as I’d like. If I have free time, I’ll try to work on those relationships. I don’t need new friends. That being said, I get along very well with a few girls here at work, we go for coffee, go for walks at lunch, but I do not see them outside of work hours!

Post # 33
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I get along well enough with my co-workers and I can joke around with some of them, but we interact more like acquaintances than friends. I learned early on at my first office job to not become too friendly with anyone. 

Post # 34
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I don’t do work friends. In my early 20s, I worked at a place where we were all young, best friends, and dating each other. There was so much drama and we were not respected in the work place bc of rumors, etc. I feel like it’s too hard to make work friends and keep them separate from every day life and not let drama creep in, so I just don’t bother anymore. I’m nice, friendly, and participate in work functions, but don’t really hang out with anyone outside work.

 

Post # 35
Member
3607 posts
Sugar bee

I want to be liked and on good terms with my coworkers, but aside from that, I have zero desire to socialize with work people outside of the office. I have to be there for almost all of my waking hours, so I want to use my time outside of work to be with my Fiance and friends and pursue my own interests. I really dislike work environments where there is an expectation to socialize with coworkers, and would probably find a new job if I were pressured into it on a regular basis.

Post # 36
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

I aim to be friendly at work but don’t go out of ny at to create friendships. Sometimes ive met great friends via work and I love them

personslly, I find too much close friends/cliques to be quite damaging in my current role there’s a group who have each oyhers backs and stir about others who aren’t in their group. It makes for a nasty culture of unease. 

Post # 37
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee

I guess this depends on your profession? I’m in tech and most of the people on my team are 20/30 somethings, so we’re all really good friends and I enjoy it. It makes my life easier (although it’s more sad when someone moves teams lol). They were all invited to my wedding, we do regular happy hours, we decorate the area and get cake for people’s birthdays/etc… Idk, after being a part of a team of friends I’d say it’s something that’s important to me now

Post # 38
Member
3534 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

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hemera:  this 110%

The first office job I had we all hung out outside of work, and there was drama so that turned me off to being buddies with coworkers.  I am friendly with everyone, will joke around and chit chat, but I’m at work to work and advance my career.  I don’t want the drama that can come with hanging out outside of work, and I don’t want management to see me as being in a clique, unprofessional, or unable to be advanced because of my relationship with coworkers.

 

Post # 39
Member
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Honestly, I could care less whether I’m friends with the people I work with.

I currently work in a small office (there are 3 others besides myself) and I would have to say that we’re friends – we grab lunch together on occasion and we see each other outside of work (mostly for more milestone events, like birthdays). But we also have a bit in common, so it just kind of happened naturally.

I used to work in a jewellery store and was not interested in being friends with anyone who worked there. There was a lot of clique-y and bitchiness going on, which wasn’t something that I wanted to be a part of. Before that, I worked for a big department store. I was friends with a few people I worked with, as in we saw each other outside of work regularly, but there were a whole stack of others I just didn’t get along with.

Post # 40
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

When I was in my postgrad training program, I was good friends with a lot of people in my cohort. Now that I’m done with that, I do find it a little more difficult to really socialize with my colleagues. There’s one girl who is in my same job position who started about the same time as I did. We are sort of friends. We have a lot in common, but there’s something that just doesn’t click as well as it did with my training buddies. I don’t know if it’s because we’re both so similar in our careers or what. I like and respect my colleagues, but it seems like there is so much variation in our life situations that it’s hard to really make the connection. I probably just have to be more “out there” to make those connections though. 

Post # 41
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I do enjoy being friends with coworkers. I agree with previous posters that this probably depends a lot on your field and the type of work you’re doing. However, it’s taken me a while to make friends at the different places where I’ve worked. I think taking the initiative is key, and making one on one connections is more important (at least to me) than being part of the big group that goes out to happy hour. 

Post # 42
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I feel like I already spend 50 hours a week with these people, so I want to spend my after work hours and weekends with others! It’s usually after I quit a job that I want to socialize with former coworkers I liked. 

Post # 43
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m friends with a few people at work. We talk regularly and see each other outside of work occassionally. These are also the coworkers invited to my wedding. 

A lot of the office staff from the main office/headquarters have drinks together on Fridays. They always invite me and the other attorneys if we’re in the office, but we rarely go as the staff is mostly younger and single and we all like to go home to our families.

At other places I worked, we never went out together. It seems like it’s more office culture related than anything else.

I think I feel most comfortable keeping my work life and social life private. I like to leave work at work. I think it depends greatly on the person. 

Post # 44
Member
258 posts
Helper bee

I’m close with a fair few of my colleagues.  It doesn’t particularly matter to me whether I am or not, I just happen to really like them.  In the past there has been a bit of drama but nothing crazy.  I am the only married one in our particular group of colleagues so I feel like the old mother hen (lol).  It is a lot of fun to hear about their dating lives etc.  My husband’s work colleagues are the same and I think we both get a lot of enjoyment out of the social sides of our jobs.

Post # 45
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t care at all.  I work in schools, and I’ve heard that my predecessor would go out and do happy hour with staff, we’re from an outside agency.  When she left I was even told how much they’d miss going to happy hour with her…which I took to mean I could invite them to happy hour and they would probably be into it.  But alas, I like to go home after work 😛 

Have you invited your work friends out? 

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