Post # 1
- Wedding: July 2017 - Eldorado Canyon State Park
When ring shopping with my boyfriend last month, I realized he and I have vastly different tastes in rings! His idea of a nice ring is his mom’s tiny (maybe .25 carat at most) yellow gold solitaire — a perfect choice for some people but not my style AT ALL.
Fortunately, he is also of the mind that it doesn’t matter what he likes, since he’s not the one who’ll be wearing it for the rest of our lives. Obviously, I’d love for him to love my ring, too, but it’s starting to look like our tastes simply do not align, so that may not be a realistic goal for us. Of course, if he were the type to surprise me with his own choice, I’m sure I’d be more than happy, but since he wants me to be a part of the process, I guess I’d rather err on the side of picking my dream ring, even if he’s not crazy about it, than go with a ring he prefers but I don’t love. It seems a bit of a waste of him sacrificing the surprise element to get my input if we don’t even end up getting something I like.
Have any of you Bees been in the same boat? What did you end up doing — going with his choice or yours? Do you have any regrets? For those of you who haven’t been in this situation, what are your thoughts? Obviously an engagement ring is more than just a nice piece of jewelry, it’s a symbol, but it IS a nice piece of jewelry, too, so I think aesthetics matter too.
Thanks, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts! 🙂
Post # 2
Thankfully my FH and I don’t have that different tastes, but I was leaning towards an emerald cut, with one diamond on each side (or something simple) and his taste was much more blingy and he hated all Emerald cuts, so that was out. Thankfully, he still liked white gold (which I really wanted) and he liked bigger diamonds, whereas I wanted something smaller, but honestly, I loved what he picked and everytime I look at it I’m really happy.
That said – if I was in your situation, I would somewhat compromise, see what cuts of diamond he likes, princess, pear, round, etc, some design elements he like, halo, solitare, and go from there? Definitely pick something you like though, because you have to look at it everyday, and it sounds like your boyfriend wants you to love it, so that’s great!
Post # 3
I feel it is important that my SO like my ring, too, so in every step we’ve done to design one I have asked for his opinion. If I like an element he’s unsure about I explain to him why I like it and that helps him like it as well. He appreciates what I like about something and that is as good as liking it to me. Seeing me excited about something and giving my input has made him happy about what I’m choosing, and asking for his opinion is helping me since I’m very indecisive.
Post # 4
It was REALLY important to me that my husband love my ring, which is why he picked it. But, we were different from you and your SO in that we have super similar tastes. I asked for something simple, elegant, and low maintenance and he did the rest. I love that he loves my ring. I love the way he looks at it when he’s holding my hand. It gives me the warm fuzzies. However, had our tastes differed, I’d have tried to compromise leaning more towards my preferences than his. Same for wedding bands. But I choose sentiment over aesthetics every time.
Post # 5
For my DH and I it was a little confusing and we had some communication problems. I truly wanted a RB yellow gold solitaire over 1ct, but never said that to him at the time, he knows I love older things and history… At first he said he wanted a vitange or old ring preWW1 and told me to start looking at Art Deco rings on Etsy… Finally I told him we should really go look at some in person, and i started looking at other shapes because he didn’t want to spend so much and I wanted the coverage but still a solitaire.
When we went to go look he was all “OHHHH BLINGY” and wanted to look at settings that were halos and had lots of diamonds on it. VERY not me. After looking a bit I found a YG solitaire I LOVED and they set a stone in it on my hand and he saw how much I loved it. Then he comes out with “I always thought a solitaire was I would buy for my wife but with the Art Deco you were looking at I thought you wanted more bling” LOL in the end we both wanted the same thing but it took a while to come out.
Personally I would try and met in the middle if he cares about the ring at all. My DH cares and I could never get a ring I loved and he hated for an e-ring (RHR yes). But if it dosen’t mean anything to him and dosen’t care just get what you want.
Post # 6
To answer the title question, it’s not important at all whether he likes my ring or not because he’s not the one who will be wearing it. When it comes to HIS ring though, its absolutely important.
Post # 7
We had similar taste (simple) in the e-rings, so it wasn’t an issue for us. However, since he was buying the ring, I would hope that he liked what he was buying. If our preferences were vastly different, I would hope he would be willing to compromise. A good partner should want to see his/her partner happy.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
We ran into a similar issue so we compromised. I chose the setting and he chose the stone. That way we each had a hand in picking it and we each felt our opinion mattered. DH and I also have very different tastes.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2015 - City Hall!
It’s very important to me.
Also it is so strange to me that someone wouldn’t care if he liked your ring but you must agree to his…. Selfish to me.
Post # 10
we have very similar tastes, but neither one of us does jewelry. So I had some ideas in my head for what I wanted and so did he. I definitely wanted him to like what he bought. After all, he’ll see my hands the rest of his life too. I originally wanted an aquamarine solitaire (we’re talking 5 years ago) but he felt that was boring and that diamonds were a necessity. So we went three-stone with diamonds for the sidestones. Both of us wanted silver with some antiquing to make it look less than brand new. It was a good choice, and I’m glad to know we both really like it, not just me.
Post # 11
For me very important! He seemed to like diamond rings but I much much prefer gemstone rings. When I showed him what I liked I included some diamond ones so he could pick them if he wanted. Thankfully he chose a purple sapphire which is both our favorite colour.
Post # 12
When we first got engaged he took me shopping and told me to pick any ring I wanted. I chose a 3 stone princess cut. Found out later he really didn’t like that style… at all. But he wanted me to be happy and didn’t say anything at the time. Well, when I found out that he wasn’t all that thrilled with it, it kinda took away my joy with my ring. For our 5th anniversary we decided to upgrade and we found a happy common ground: I let him choose the diamond (he chose a beautiful round brilliant) and I chose the setting. Now he loves to grab my hand and enjoy looking at “our” ring. Makes me happy too.
Post # 13
Him liking it never entered into my thought process. I’ve never been with a man who ever showed any interest in women’s jewelry. My Fiance doesn’t know the difference from one stone to another, nevermind all the different metals. I picked my own 🙂
Post # 14
I’ve never thought about if he loved my ering or not. To be clear, I had NO input whatsoever on my ering. He purchased the ring and asked me to my complete surprise. I knew we both wanted to get married, we hadn’t set any timelines or anything so it was a complete shock. He did a very good job picking out a ring that suits me. I have no idea the carat size, its a marquise cut soliataire, 6prong setting on a platinum band. Simple, elegant, gorgeous. I hope he likes it, as he picked it out, but I’ve never asked him if he loves it.
Post # 15
It was important to me that my hubby likes my ring too as I want him to be proud of what he got me. We both love solitaires so we had the bands custom designed around the diamond and they turned out beautifully and my hubby just loves looking at my rings on my finger and I love them too so we’re both happy. 🙂