Post # 1
Okay, I’m going to sound really shallow here. I live in the NYC. My boyfriend is a wonderful person and I enjoy the time we spend together. He loves me more than anything. . . And I never had an issue with this but suddenly I feel this grave sense of concern. But I’m just concerned that his income won’t cut it. His total income (salary plus investment income) is about $225k. My ex boyfriends were making 3x-5x this amount. I don’t want to think about this but somehow I find myself getting really stressed out thinking about it. . . My exes all had something (assholes, problems in the bedroom) that I couldn’t get past, why do I always have to find something?? Really Frustrating. Please help.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
Is he not able to pay his bills? Does he save and plan for the future? $225K is a pretty good amount even for your area as long as he is responsible.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
Hmm… DH and I have a much lower combined salary than what your boyfriend makes alone. We live in NYC and are doing just fine. Are you able to support yourself on your income? Does he make bad decisions with his money? I guess I just don’t understand what exactly you are concerned about?
Post # 5
@Naomi21: Do you have an income? What are you expecting his income to “cut,” exactly? With 225K — plus whatever salary you presumably make, you can do well in NYC as a couple. If you are used to being with guys that make a million plus dollars a year, I can see how maybe this is a change of lifestyle for you? Need more details.
Post # 6
What specifically are you looking for that he could not provide or you can not provide for yourself or on your incomes combined?
Or is it just that comparatively he makes less?
Post # 7
@Naomi21: You do sound shallow. Money does not equal happiness.
Post # 8
I don’t know what it is that I’m looking for exactly. I guess a nicer apartment. . . Not quite sure. I also make over 100K but just afraid for whatever crazy reason. . . I guess all of you are right. Just ’cause my other bfs made more it’s not like we did anything different/special. . . in fact, he’s done more special things for me than all of them combined. I guess you’ve made me realize I’m being rediculous. . .
Post # 9
Financial security is important to me, but that’s different than money. DH had just started a job when we got married, and I paid off his student loans even though I had no income at the time. I’m not done school yet, and we’re doing just fine for now on his salary. We can both live within our means.
What’s your income? 225k is well above average.
Post # 10
@Naomi21: i personally think thats a lot of money.. my DH doesnt make that(less) and we live fine. i mean we are not driving around in expensive cars, going on shopping sprees. but we are def not living without. i think you could get passed it..
Post # 12
@Boston Bee: Seriously! I’m thinking “troll”?!
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
@AB Bride: “Financial security is important to me, but that’s different than money” What she said is what I was trying to say. Does he do anything that makes you think you 2 wont be secure? Or is this just a general internally based fear?
Post # 14
This should go in the first world problems thread!
225k is a LOT. I cannot imagine being broke with that much of an annual income, unless you were HEAVILY in debt. FI makes in the 6 figures (about 50% of what you say your guy makes), and there is no reason to be financially unsatisfied. My fiance could make minimum wage, as long as he was completely happy with what he was doing.
Are you financially participating in this relationship?
ETA: sorry, I saw you posted that you do in fact.
Post # 15
Totally depends on what kind of lifestyle you are used to and are looking for. Are you going to be jetting off to Monaco every weekend, no, but if you’re smart with your money you’re not going to be going hungry either. If money is a concern for you, I would recommend that you build your own fortune. It is a huge concern of mine so I have built my own wealth. Money does not bring happiness but lack of money can cause a lot of stress. Be honest about what you need and go make it! Best wishes!
Post # 16
I’m wondering how you would feel if he thought this about you?
I think that yes, money is a huge issue, as it can be reflective of values, and how they choose to earn it/spend it/save it can tell you a lot about someone.
But really, assuming he doesn’t have any addictions, or extremely poor spending habits, that income should be more than liveable, even in NYC.
If income is really that important to you, by all means, find yourself someone who makes more money, but you know what they say about that “If you marry for money, you’ll earn every penny”.