How important is WHERE you live to your happiness?

posted 3 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
6246 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Anonymous1063 :  There is absolutely a mix of views wherever you go, but there is always the feeling of being in the majority or the minority. Even here, in the more urban areas, things are quite blue. Rural areas tend to skew red regardless of where they are. As for religion, I’ve not met a single person in the town I live in who does not attend church, let alone who is atheistic. Again, in a city about 45 miles away, it would not be unusual to be atheistic, but here? It is absolutely unheard of. And while I am not ashamed of my views, I teach and I’d rather the community not see me as unfit to be around their children (despite religion playing absolutely NO part in the curriculum). Our state is already anti-educator, having removed collective bargaining rights and taken away the healthcare we exchanged for higher salaries, so there are few protections for an educator now.

Heck, the more I discuss it, the less I like where I live!

Post # 32
10436 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

L606 :  

Yes, we have dogs with heavy coats (German Shepherds).  And, we always seem to end up with three at a time; hand picked, rescued, quasi rescued, whatever.  A couple have been long coats.

We don’t have kids, so the dogs are our priority. And they really do badly in the heat. Some of them really had to be pushed just to go out to potty. It’s really no fun for them.  At least GSDs are bred to be all weather dogs.  My heart breaks for the Huskies, Malamutes, and other cold weather dogs some desert dwellers insist on keeping.

Where we lived (Palm Springs), not being in Edison territory was actually a big home selling feature. It’s not just the high cost of electricity, it’s the constant threat of brownouts as well.

One thing that really surprises people is the humidity. I was always told it was caused by aerating so many golf courses.  I have no idea what’s causing it, but it gets extreme, eg 70%.  Imagine 112 degrees with 70% humidity during a power failure. They happen all the time.

The humidity also renders swamp coolers useless, which would save people a lot of money.

That scared me the most.  A summer power failure could literally kill my dogs.  It is very easy for a dog to succumb to heat stroke.

Yes, more than once we have found signs in the windows of businesses saying they would return in September.  Once the Snowbirds are gone, they don’t make enough money.

On the upside, traffic gets lighter during the summer. But, the heat is brutal on your car.

But, I imagine every desert community is different.  The Palm Springs area has really turned into a crap hole. Crime is also out of control. We had to live in a gated community with three German Shepherds. I could never recommend it.

Post # 33
115 posts
Blushing bee

It is a huge factor in my opinion. I am from the Midwest and miss it terribly, it’s where all my friends and family are and I miss having seasons and affordable housing. FH and I both have good jobs but where we live is so extreme that we will never ever be able to afford a home here. I also can’t stand the traffic and the weather. So yes, while I generally am a very happy person, I do believe where you live can have an impact whether it be a good or bad one.

Post # 34
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Incredibly important to me, the city, suburb, the street, the house. I am really affected by my surroundings. Not just emotionally but I have lots of allergies haha. I would never just move on a whim.

Post # 35
84 posts
Worker bee

I think about this a lot because I moved around a lot in my early 20s and ended up in northern Delaware.  I have now been here 7 years and it feels like home.  Did I ever plan on living in this tiny state? No.  Do I want to leave?  I would, but I have to admit…it would be hard.

I have never felt more apart of a community.  I’m currently going to school to be a social worker and perhaps later a therapist.  There is a lot of need in Delaware.  I love the northern part, the roads are beautiful and there are old remains of colonial homes.  I’m 2 hours from some beautiful beaches.  I can get to Philly in 30 minutes, NYC, Baltimore, NJ beaches, and DC are about 2 hours away.  And I can have breakfast in Delaware, lunch in Maryland,  and dinner in Pennsylvania which satisfies my need to always be somewhere different lol

I am from the midwest and lived in Chicago, Dayton, and Nashville and done multiple long term road trips across the country and I have to say Delaware makes me happy.  My bf, a DE native, has been obsessed with California lately but I highly doubt we could afford it (without sacrificing a rental house for a studio apartment, etc)

Post # 36
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

My initial feeling was that it’s more about the people I’m around than the place, but then the more I thought about it I just realised I have loads of requirements for where I want to live! I hate being in the city, but I also wouldn’t want to be in the middle of nowhere, so suburbs are about ideal – close enough to the city for convenience, but without the noise and crowds. 

I’m also not great with the weather, I hate driving in the rain or the snow. We live on the south coast of England, so we tend to get the best of the weather. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still England, it’s still mostly grey and drizzly most of the time (looking out the window now confirms that…), but it’s usually milder than in the north. 

I could probably adapt to living in parts of Europe, but I don’t think I’d want to live in the US purely because of the harsh employment laws. Though there are parts of the country which do look very beautiful and tempting.

Post # 38
209 posts
Helper bee

I’ve lived on both coasts in the US and have moved every 1-2 years as an adult. I’m sure that I could learn to be happy just about anywhere, and I’d love to live in a place where the daily rhythm is completely different for a short period of time just to try it, but I have to admit that I’ve grown accustomed to conveniences like my favorite grocery chain around the corner and being close to a small airport.

Weather is less important than being able to see greenery and easily get out into it.

Post # 39
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

 For me it’s a yes and no answer. I grew up a Navy brat and am married to a man in the Air Force. I have moved enough in my lifetime to know that it’s not so much about the place as who you are with. As long as I have my husband I can deal with being wherever. 

HOWEVER. I found several years ago now that I cannot be too hot or too cold because it makes my hands ache. So I spend a lot of time inside where I can control the temperature. I have also found since I moved back here (I lived where my husband is stationed 11 years before moving to Florida for 13) that my skin gets crazy dry and cracked here and it doesn’t seem to matter what time of year or how much lotion I use and I miss being near the ocean a whole lot.

I never thought I would say it, as most of my life my goal has been to get back to where we are now. But I want to retire back in Key West eventually.  It was better for my skin and the water there didn’t make me sick, and I just loved living basically right on the ocean. 

So yeah. In short. If my husband is there i can deal. But after he retires from the military? Well.. we are gunna have some compromising to do based on job availability lol.

Post # 40
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

It both matters and doesn’t. SO and I have requirements that we look for in deciding where to live, but we’re very open to considering a pretty international and diverse set of options.

1. Easy access to outdoors/green spaces

2. Job opportunities to afford our expected standard of living

3. Reasonable return access to our families (preferably both but given they live on opposite sides of hte world, access to 1 family is the minimum)

4. Cultural match / relative ease in finding ‘our people’ in the area

5. Reasonable access to our hobbies

That being said – we’ve both lived in places that do not check these boxes and made it work. We weren’t completely miserable but we also found ourselves looking forward to the next move. If you can find good people to befriend, that makes any living situation much easier to handle / enjoy.

Post # 41
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I think it has a good chunk. Places and location vary from person to person. I went through such a tough time with my career and work that I was ready to move to Washington D.C (my happy place).  I realized it was environments I was in that was causing me to dislike it (former job and former church). I have no feelings towards the city right now, but do want to leave the area on a better note so I am here for the foreseable future.  I have a house with no debt of any sort so I am trying to be here as long as I can. My husband has promised we can move to the Washington D.C. area once I get done with grad school! I have family in the area.  I am doing my best to enjoy what I have and know it is temporary.

Post # 42
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

Anonymous1063 :  I do think it is a factor. I live in New England but desperately want to live more south. During the winter, I am grumpy often and the only reason we stay up here is because literally all of our family is here (even though most hate the cold just as much!)

Post # 43
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

For me it’s very important. I grew up in a midwestern suburb, and knew from a young age that I wanted to get out ASAP. I moved to SoCal when I was 18 and never looked back. There are added stressors where I live for sure- traffic, overpopulation, high cost of living, etc.

Sometimes when I visit my home town I find myself missing the simplicity of it for a moment. Then I remember how utterly boring it is there, how backwards most people’s thinking is, the lack of diversity, etc. And I become grateful to live in a progressive, liberal area with all the shopping, bars/restaurants, and activities I could ever want. But boy do I wish the rent was cheaper!

Post # 44
721 posts
Busy bee

For me, it’s huge. I lived in a different city (3.5 hrs away) same state, for almost three years and was miserable. I moved there to be with my now FH, but I missed being near my family. I am very close with them and have some siblings who are quite young. Being that I went to college when the youngest was two, then moved away, I felt like I missed so much of their lives. Now, my FH and I live in a large city 30 minutes from where I grew up. I haven’t been this overall happy in years. We love where we live also because we can walk to shopping, dining, parks, breweries, etc. that was huge for us when looking for a new spot. I love the dynamic even more than I thought I would. 

Post # 45
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i grew up in florida, and as much as i gripe about the city i live in i cant see myself ever moving out of the state. I love visiting family up north and getting to experiene seasons and winter/snow. But i could never live in it. However im a big outdoors girl, and doing anything for a long time outdoors in florida can be unbearable because of the heat. Plus as the years go on, the more and more expensive this state becomes. We live in a starter home and would love to move into a bigger house one day, but the real estate market is becoming more and more expensive down here. 

So im always 50/50 when it comes to thinking that i could be happier somewhere else. 

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