(Closed) How Important was/is your 1 year wedding anniversary?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: if my husband knowingly and willingly missed our 1 year anniv to further his career/education...
    I would be hurt, there would be no excuse : (8 votes)
    4 %
    I would be hurt, but worse things could happen. Can't fault him for wanting to get ahead. : (49 votes)
    28 %
    I wouldn't care, it's just a day. We could celebrate a different time. : (34 votes)
    19 %
    I wouldn't care if we celebrated at all--it's just a date, and we go out on dates all the time! : (4 votes)
    2 %
    I care(d) SO MUCH about our 1 year anniv. It's going to be a huge celebration for the 2 of us : (20 votes)
    11 %
    I care(d) about our anniv, but meh...it's not the end of the world if it didn't go the way I hoped : (33 votes)
    19 %
    I care(d) marginally about our anniv...it's just one day, and moving the celebration is no big deal : (19 votes)
    11 %
    I care(d) little about our anniv. It doesn't define our relationship or marriage in any way. : (8 votes)
    4 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9670 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @MrsDrRose612:   I would be hurt by his attitude about it.  If your first year wedding anniversary is important to YOU that should be enough for him.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5787 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I cared about our anniversary but I had school commitments around the actual date so we celebrated a week early. It was still plenty special.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I would be bummed out a little, but I’d get over it. My friend’s husband actively sought out a deployment that resulted in him being in a war zone for the majority of their first year of marriage. Why? Because it furthered his career, enabling him to get a key promotion and improve their long-term options. He missed both of their birthdays, their first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, first V-Day, first anniversary, etc., etc., etc. Seeing the sacrifices they made in order to improve his career chances and their future options really put things into perspective for me.

    Post # 6
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I wouldn’t care.  It’s just a day.  His education/career are much more important to me than a day on the calendar.

    Darling Husband was at a friends bachelor party on our first anniversary.  He was away all weekend and got home early that evening.  We celebrated a few days later. No big deal.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Since my husband pretty much dropped the ball on our first anniversary, I WISH he’d had as good of an excuse as that. It was not SO important to me that I needed some big show out of him, but it would have been nice if he’d spent the entire evening with me, rather than going to dinner (that I planned) and then working the rest of the night.

    Post # 8
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If you’re upset about it, i’d say you don’t understand how important publications are.

    It would be no big deal to me. I’d probably be trying to go on the trip, too, because I love having so many adventures! We’re big into adventure travel.

    Post # 9
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    There were other trips he could have chosen, so yes, I’d be upset.  It’s not about the date.  It’s about the celebration.  One year together is a milestone.  My husband was so psyched about our anniversary.  We were going to go to the place he proposed, but I ended up in a cast, so we stayed in instead.  It was still wonderful.  It’s about the two of you celebrating.  If he was still up for that, that’s one thing, but if he blew it off and put himself above the both of you like it didn’t matter, it’s not ok.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5148 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    It’s just a day.

    I would be 100% okay with Darling Husband being away for our anniversary. Especially if he was working on something that would benefit us in the future.

    Darling Husband and I never tend to celebrate on the actual day anyway (whether it be anniversary, birthday, Valentine’s day, etc). We celebrate when it’s convenient for us; so if those fall during the week, we celebrate on a weekend. We never go out on Valentine’s day because it’s so busy, we go out another time. Etc.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1423 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Publications are a huge deal career-wise, so I can understand why he wants to go.  Is there something special about the trip that falls on your anniversary?  (a location he prefers, more likely to get a publication out of it?)  If there is nothing at all to be said for this trip over the others, I can see why you might be a bit upset.  But, if there is anything to be said for this over the other trips, I can totally understand him wanting to be away on your anniversary.  There will be lots of them, and you can always celebrate when he gets home. 

    I should also mention, we don’t make a big thing of our anniversary. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I cared, but due to unpredictable/unusual work schedules we’re used to celebrating “whenever”.  We actually celebrated our anniversary a month early this year AND last year, just because it was more convenient.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Yeah, I would be disappointed, but you can celebrate another day and it will still be special! The point is honoring the time you spend together, not just the actual DAY!

    Post # 14
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    This wouldn’t be a big thing for me.  We could always celebrate on another day!  Just do something twice as nice for your 2 year. 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Funny, because I read this this morning, and thought “I don’t think I’d be too worried about it,” and though our anniversary is on Monday, both Darling Husband and I forgot when he was scheduling a work trip, and now he’ll be out of town on our anniversary! I’d say I’m mildly bummed, since it’s our first, but we are planning to move it to the next day, no problem. I don’t think it’s worth getting upset over. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    It happened to us. It was a bummer, but we just celebrated a couple of days before our anniversary and aren’t any worse off for it. 🙂

    If he is in the medical field, there will probably be more anniversaries and other celebrations that you won’t get to spend together. It can really suck sometimes, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to still make it special. 🙂

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