(Closed) How "into" the TTC process is your SO?

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mine doesn’t want to know a thing about any of the technical stuff, any of the mechanics. Basically he initiates BD when he wants it, and I initiate when I want it or it’s time. Between us we’re covering our bases. This is why I NEED the TTC boards – I have no other outlet. He’s excited at the prospect of a baby, but wants none of the pressure associated with trying. He said if we aren’t in 6 months then maybe he’ll start getting involved and actively helping. For right now he wants to be surprised. He said a week ago that he had a dream I told him we were pregnant and he was really happy – I’m hoping it was foreshadowing!

Post # 18
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If we ever TTC for another baby and I have to monitor my cycles, I would keep the details to myself, at least initially.  If we had problems TTC I would want him to get more involved, but in the early days I think being so clinical about it would be a total mood-killer.

Post # 19
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

DH is pretty involved (for a guy). He knows when I ovulate and what ovulation means. But he’s much more laid back about the whole thing. This is our second time TTC. Last time was almost 4 years ago when we got pregnant with DD. I think he still remembers how dissapointed I got over all those BFN then. So I think he’s trying to stay calm about it this time around.

Post # 20
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee

I tell my hubby every detail, haha. He knew when I was ovulating, every symptom, etc and he even pressured me to POAS a early at 8dpo because he couldn’t wait any longer. He’s definitely not typical, but it is great to feel like we are in this together. He even started reading some parenting blogs and news feeds on his phone! <3

Post # 21
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee

@Sea_bass:  I do the SAME thing – tell him about the drama on the Bee, like when someone is venting about their husband, I say, “Would you get mad at me if I did this? Do you think this is right???” with an angry evil eye… hehehe. He’s so good though, he’s like “No honey, of course not.” Haha.

Post # 22
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

mine started off very disconnected from it all – he truly believed that all we had to do was remove the condom/pill and that would be it. he had no idea about ovulation or cycles (to be truthful, i didn’t have a whole lot more to begin with). After it started to take a while and I started using OPKs and then temping, I started telling him more about it, and now, 12 months later, he knows a lot more than most women!!

he didn’t neccessarily want to know – but I didn’t think it was fair that I was carrying this huge burden of knowledge and responsibility and he could just cruise the process.

this month, though, I decided to give him some control. I just said “I want you to be in control of our sex schedule this month, and my only stipulation is that you aim for every second day or so”. Things have been a lot more exciting this month, I think he is liking the power ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 23
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee

@ChuckNorris:  Haha, I do that too. XD But only when something sounds pretty outrageous like when someone’s  bridesmaid is being an evil witch or their SO beats them. 

Post # 24
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ChuckNorris:  haha we talk about the topics on WB too.  He finds some of it entertaining. DH knows I have been reading and learning all this cool stuff about women’s bodies and I sometimes share my wonder. He is an RN so isalready familiar with most of the stuff I tell him, some old hat, some a refresher, a few rare tidbits he’s never heard. He works general med surg floor and doesn’t like to get patients from gyny and all our hormones were his least favorite topic of study, lol. The other day I asked him if he wanted to see the stick that measures LH and he was curious and said why not.  So he’s not into it per se, but he’s not phased by any of it either

Post # 26
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Thanks for posting this. I got extremely upset last week at my DH because he is so calm about it all. He says he is excited and that it “will happen when it will happen”. Me, I’ve been taking Folic Acid, I’m reading the books, I’m tracking my periods, got off my medications many months ago, started excersizing more and i’m watching my diet more. I feel so much more involved then him. I asked him to read the first chapter of this baby book about TTC and he refuses. He says when it happens then he will read the book because then it will be relevant. I wish I was a little more relaxed like you to his calm demeanor!

Post # 28
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@PARISviaROME:  How long have you been TTC?  If it’s early days, I think it’s totally valid for your DH to prefer starting out with a relaxed approach (though I get why you are frustrated), but if you’ve been trying for awhile and it hasn’t “just happened” then I agree with @hamikay’s point above that if this is a shared goal, why should you have all the burden of tracking everything and doing all the research and scheduling sex?

Post # 29
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My DH wants to know almost everything… sometimes I share a little too much for him… but hey, he asked…
It does put a little more pressure on… but I like that he wants to know when I O *and as many of you, he doesn’t want to be made into a machine *and neither do I for that matter** so we keep it as it used to be before we went off birth control

Post # 30
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My DH was way into it, he’s an engineer by training and he totally went all project on it. He bought me a basal thermometer and downloaded an app onto his iPad that tracked my temp every day. He also ordered ovulation test strips for me to use in the days leading up to probable ovulation. It was all pretty easy to follow, actually, and luckily the timing worked so that we could try the day before he had to leave town for a business trip.

Well, we hit on our first try and I know all the data he collected is a huge part of why it happened so fast! Now I’m 7 months and he’s still way into the whole process, it’s really fun to watch how excited he is ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 31
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@PARISviaROME:  Sometimes a change in diet/exercise can throw off your cycle for a while, not that you shouldn’t be healthy, you totally should, but for some people if they’re actively losing weight it can monkey with the system a little. Maybe something to keep an eye on if you notice your cycle is irregular and talk with your doctor about to see what they suggest.

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