(Closed) How involved are your bridesmaids?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@sealevels:  My BMs aren’t local (I only have 2 and they’re in CA, I’m in NC) so the physical things that they do are minimal.  This is fine by me because I’m super picky about my DIY stuff.  They are always brimming with suggestions though and are constantly asking to help.  My MoH is actually compiling my playlist for me, and my other Bridesmaid or Best Man is sending me pics of shoes, dresses, accessories, hairstyles, etc. 

Outside of the DIY stuff (which is a lot of stuff), I’m pretty laissez faire with the rest of the wedding.  I actually didn’t want/need to do a bachelorette thing, but my MoH organized a series of dinners at various gastropubs when I went out to visit them.  Honestly I feel like my girls go above and beyond.

Post # 4
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

They are planning the shower and the bachelorette party. They have free reign there. For my wedding, I have one doing my hair. We’re also going to try to make our own bouquets. I pretty much let them pick the bm dress, but they picked one that I had already loved. I had to pick the color because all 4 of us equally loved the grey and the purple (or so they said), so I surprised myself and picked the purple, because of the richness. One girl actively helps me look for vendors. 

No one can know what you want if you don’t tell them. They are probably just sharing ideas that they would really like. I can’t tell if my girls are just too sweet or honestly like everything I say, because they never have said anything bad about anything. Either way, I think I am OK with that.

The only thing I encountered was my Nana telling me to try more veils once I picked my dress, but I knew I wanted a birdcage so I just said so.

Post # 7
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My bridesmaids were my 3 sisters (2 older and 1 younger).  My oldest sister (MOH) has been in over 10 weddings so she was a super helpful resource even though she lives several states away.  She helped my pick a dress, color scheme, decorations, etc. My other sisters were also involved in planning, creating decorations, making programs but not to the extent of my eldest sister. I think the only reason they helped that much is because we are family. I had a 4th bridesmaid that was a friend who refused to be involved at all, but she ended up not even coming to the wedding. All this is to say that I think it’s typical to have uninvolved bridesmaids unless they are in your family. 

Post # 8
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I pretty much did everything by myself, with the exception of my one Bridesmaid or Best Man (my cousin) helping me string together a couple of ‘bunting’ banners. She was supposed to help with a lot more (bubble wands, programs, napkin rings, etc.), but she flaked on me a bunch. My other BMs offered to help, but they all live(d) out of town (one in the UK!), so I thanked them, but saved them the trip(s), lol.

They did, however, throw us a couples shower, and plan my bachelorette. I was cool with it. I’m pretty hands-on, and type A, anyway.

Post # 9
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@sealevels:  lol thanks, although a lot of my date has to do with my family being Asian and superstitious.

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