(Closed) How involved is everyone's FI in wedding planning?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

this just happened:

Fiance: so i wrote out a save the date and gave it to K at work

Me: oh yeah

Fiance: Yeah he said that C his girlfriend already got one at her house

Me: You were supposed to take that one out of the pile before you sent them bc they moved intogether and dont need 2 save the dates

Fiance: I did take it out, it was in a different pile, i dont know how it got mixed in I guess a ghost just came along and put it back in the pile

Me: *Face Palm*

 

So Fiance tries to help, but will only do things I have instructed him to do, and when he does them its mostly half assed, but he still tries and thats the point

Post # 18
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Don’t be upset this is very normal behavior for all men. My husband had very little to do with planning and I didn’t let it bother me. He did his job of proposing, now I was doing mine; planning.

Post # 19
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Cabin

My DH was not interested at all!  I would ask his opinion, he would say, “Whatever you want!”

 He found the venue, when I exhausted all my choices and told him what I wanted.  And just agreed with everything else. 

AFTER the wedding, he told me he only said “whatever I wanted” because he wanted me to have the perfect wedding and exactly what I wanted.  But it was frustrating.  

So maybe your Fiance cares, but really feels like a fish out of water, they aren’t on this site all day ;-), we assume, or maybe he wants you to have exactly what you want.  

Post # 20
Member
1797 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think Fiance truly cares and wants to help but doesn’t get how FREAKING much goes into putting a wedding together. 

I’m pretty much at my wits end with this wedding, people always coming to me with questions, to solve problems etc. 

For example, Fiance says he bought the postage.  I say how many stamps did you get?  He says 2 sheets.  I say is that going to be enough?  He says, I’m not sure how many invites are there?  I’m like WTF you have access to the spreadsheet but I have to have the number in my head?? Are you nuts???!!!

So now, he’s really taking this seriously…stepping up.  He’s also working on getting a day of coordinator on top of our in-house coordinator so I don’t end up being the go to person all day of the wedding.

Post # 21
Hostess
5622 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

My fi isn’t extremely involved. I really try to keep him involved, but he just tells me to do what I like. When he DOES express interest, I go with his ideas, or try building off of them.

We eached picked a color for the wedding, I chose fuschia/hot pink, he chose black. So we made our colors ivory, black w/ accenst of fuschia.

Post # 22
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

The only thing my Fiance has done is argue with me about the Guest List, nix a million reception extrance songs, and tell me what kind of wedding ring he doesn’t want. Basically, he has no opinion until it’s a negative one.

It’s very frustrating, but just remember – he’s a guy. You could be getting married in a wave pool with a white bathing suit on and he’d probably be just as happy…if not happier. 😉

Post # 23
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My FH cares, but certainly not as much as I do. His favorite thing – cake and food tasting! Other than that, he smiles and nods. But he’s gone to and done everything I’ve askd him to, so I’m not complaining. I really enjoy planning and he knows that, so it works out.

Post # 24
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My Fiance is actually very very involved, although I think if I really had my heart set on something and he hated it, he would still just want me to be happy. Generally, I love how much he seems to care about our day. It definitely has been a great conversation topic for us. Occasionally, though, it can be a little annoying. For example, when we were deciding on invitations, he wanted to see samples of tons of them, and had very strong opinions! I am glad he is putting so much input in though. Probably the things he cares most about are: 1) photobooth 2) groomsmen and his attire 3) food. Fair enough!

@mrs-j-to-be:  Haha LOVE the mental imagery of getting married in a wave pool!

Post # 25
Member
3054 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My husband wasn’t really interested in most of the details that went into the wedding planning. He helped me pick out some songs, but thats about it. This did not bother me at all and to me it would be weird if he was as that isn’t his character (he was wanting to just elope and is your stereotypical manly man), I had girl friends to help me with such things and we had a lot of fun.

Post # 26
Member
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Mine is extremely involved (: He is interested in helping make decisions and is always very patient when we’re talking about wedding stuff. He does additional research and likes to view different portfolios (: It’s fun having a Fiance who is so into wedding stuff. He’s enthusiastic about DIY projects too. It’s funny because he doesn’t seem like he’d be into weddings 😉

Post # 27
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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We have some good men. When I think about it, you’re right. I’m really glad Fiance is as involved as he is. Even though I can’t get exactly what I want because he hates a lot of lace or doesn’t want the wedding to look like a doily shat on it, it’s still fun knowing that he genuinely wants to have the wedding be “us” and not “I’ll just be the guy that shows up”.

We’re going invitation browsing soon! That’s our next step and I’m actually really looking forward to it now. It was even his idea to go to a shop to look.

Although… he did nix Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn, so I think I might have to reconsider this whole marriage thing.

Post # 28
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Mine started out by saying just tell me how much money you need. He basically could care less about the details.Now that we have booked the venue he is very excited,especially about the candy bar.

Post # 29
Hostess
5622 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Fi is pretty verbal/excited about the food.

The open bar, candy buffet, the 8 tier cake, and now he wants a chocolate fountain with all kinds of dippables.

He wasn’t too fond of the the burlap pennant banners i’m making, but he’s warming up to them.

Post # 30
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

Not involved at all, I’m lucky if he remembers what day it is.

Post # 31
Member
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Fiance booked our DJ, hotel rooms, honeymoon and got his tux. I did everything else. I think he probably did as much, if not more, than most grooms do.

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