(Closed) How involved is everyone's FI in wedding planning?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Baltimore. MD.

Fiance is not very involved. I really don’t mind but it can get annoying when you really need some help and you aren’t getting anything.

Post # 63
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

our wedding is four weeks away and yesterday hubby asked what time the ceremony started.

Yell

Invitations were RSVP’d three weeks ago and Fiance came to me today and said “oh ive got six more people coming to the wedding.. that werent on the invite list,..” SIX REALLY?! how many more people have you invited and not told me about?

i really don’t think they care for details, its just how guys in general are. He cares about the food, and if hell be too hot in his tux, and the honeymoon. I guess thats all you can relly expect.

Post # 64
Member
2850 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MissJuicy:  

When my husband and I got married, he didn’t care about the details at all.

With our vow renewal, he is far more involved in decision making. I love it!

Post # 65
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You ladies with the “do whatever you want” fiances are luckier than you think.  My Fiance has wanted to weigh in on everything, often shooting down stuff I really like!

Post # 65
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Ohhhh yes.  I’m only having this wedding for him.  I wanted to elope, with an epic dress and a luxurious, extremely private honeymoon being the only “weddingy” things.

He said he wanted a beach wedding, so I’ve been trying to sort out the details in my head, and I finally came up with a lovely beach bonfire deal, with smores and barbecue and lantern releasing.  I presented this to him, and he said, “Oh, that sounds nice… why the beach?” I said, “Well, Lord knows I would never plan an outside function, particularly in Australia, but you said you wanted a beach wedding…”  He said, “Oh, did I?  I mean, I believe you, but I hate the beach.”  !!!  It turns out he meant he wanted a NUDIST wedding, and there is a NUDIST BEACH NEARBY. He was just really sleep deprived….

Why me, Lord?  This man is so hilarious, and also so crazy!

I told him, “Listen, you’ve been saying, ‘Whatever makes you happy’ a lot, and I don’t want to hear it any more.” He was like, “What?  I shouldn’t want you to be happy???” I said, “No!  But you know I don’t like weddings and I didn’t want one, and you need to pitch in!  Otherwise, I will parrot it right back at you.  ‘No, dear, whatever makes YOU happy.’  Then no decisions will ever be made, and we will never get married.”  He was silent a moment and said, “I don’t like the thought of that.”  I said, “Me neither.  So help a girl out!”

I swear.  If he doesn’t take more of an oar I WILL PLAN A NUDIST WEDDING.  YES I WILL.

Post # 66
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My Fiance and I only recently got engaged but here’s how planning has gone so far.

Me “So I was thinking about having the wedding here.”

Him “Whatever you want babe. It’s your day.”

Me “Babe, it’s OUR day. I want you to be happy too.”

Him “I just want you to be happy. So whatever you want is fine with me.”

Gaaaaaah! I love the man and I love that he’s being so open minded about our day, but just once, I’d love for him to have a strong reaction to something wedding planning related. I finally said “Babe I love that you just want me to be happy, but you know what would make me really happy? Is if you helped me plan this wedding so our day can really feel like our day.” 

I had this talk with him early on, so HOPEFULLY he won’t make that aggravatingly sweet statement again.

Post # 67
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
TunaCat29:  Haha wishful thinking! I’ve had that talk with my Fiance a thousand times and he always agrees to be more involved. He can manage to act interested for about 15 minutes after that, and then he’s done. 

The worst part is all my bridesmaids and my mom live far away, so I’m really on my own. It’s nice because I’ve been able to do everything exactly the way I want to without any criticism, but it would be nice to get someone else’s opinion occasionally. 

Post # 68
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
MissJuicy:  

Lol. this is my Fiance exactly. Except when I ask for his input his response is usually ‘How much does it cost’? Soooo annoying.

I’ve come to terms I’m planning alone, and in some ways it’s easier, I get to pick whatever I want haha. He gives me his opinion on important things sometimes… well… just the food, haha, but for the details it’s all me. Since we’re doing a lot of DIY, I’ve started giving him more tasks. I find that helps my stress level and makes me feel like we’re working together.

Post # 69
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Industrial/Modern

Mine wants to be fairly involved in the bigger stuff (overall look, venue, he wants to go to the tastings, etc) but the nitty gritty details are things he says he doesn’t neccessarily need any veto powers on. Luckily we have similar aesthetics! I have told him I wanted to surprise him with a few elements of the decor and he seems okay with that. 

Where I am having a problem is with the fact that he seems super uncomfortable about photographers and videographers. He’s really low key. Doesn’t like to be the “center of attention” as he puts it as it makes him anxious. *sigh* 

 

Post # 70
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
alexsquared:  

Ditto! I’ve had that convo with my Fiance a million times now, hence the desicion to give him tasks.

Currently I’m 20+ hours from EVERYONE, so I know how you felt. <3

Post # 71
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
paxie:  

Oh my, I legit laughed-out-loud with that one!

Our FI’s would be best friends, I get a lot of, ‘oh, I said that?’. Make me want to smack him… with love of course. 😉

Post # 72
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
TunaCat29:  There oughter be a law!  “Whatever makes you happy” needs to be banned unless the bride applies for a waiver at City Hall!

View original reply
winterwoodlandbride15:  LOL, this is a first for us…. he’s working a LOT of overtime(to save up for things) and then staying up late to talk to me, so he is sooooo tired…. but somehow I doubt this will be the last time!! My poor Big. 🙁  But I laughed, even as I was like, whaaaaat!  

The best part is he’s terminally shy- I’m pretty much the only one who’s even seen him naked, so the whole nudist thing would go over well.  Whereas I am fearless:  if this is what he truly wants, I’ll do it and dye my bits hot pink to boot!

Now when he makes terrible puns or asks for horrible wedding things, I can threaten him with what he “wants”: a nudist beach wedding!!

Post # 73
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
TunaCat29:  story of my life right now. Hahaha

Post # 74
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

0% involved lol

Post # 75
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I am beyond blessed that my Fiance wants to be a part of planning our wedding together! He has basically let me have my vision but he’s been there to help talk me through things, come up with alternative ideas and make help the final decisions on things. It’s a lot of fun planning our wedding together!

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