Post # 1
Some background. I never wanted a wedding till I met my fiance. I genuinely believed that since he was such a creative spirit our wedding would be a joint venture and a ton of fun. However, particularly because he is obsessed with a karate show he is putting on in three weeks, his attention to the wedding has been limited (July 24 is the wedding so I can’t just wait till after the show to start planning). This has been really bothering me and I feel like I’m making his life a living hell. I don’t want to do this, but I really want him to participate in the wedding rather than put it off till after his show. So I was just wondering, how much has your fiance done for the wedding?
Made the favors for the engagement party, made the wedding invitations, has gone to browse stuff a few times with me, and helped build my bamboo canopy.
Post # 3
Mine did very little. Our wedding is on Saturday. We’ve been engaged since Feb 24 or so (so ya, very short engagement). He likes to focus on one major life event at a time and we were graduating on May 6, so prior to that, I couldn’t hardly even get him to listen to me when I needed to ask his opinion. He went with me (kicking and screaming) to see the chapel where we are getting married. Other than that, he did not go with me anywhere.
I made him a list of duties which included: getting his suit and his Bridesmaid or Best Man suit, booking the honeymoon, reserving a room for wedding night, looking up info on marriage license, and putting together the song list. He completed 5 of 6….hence, I spent my day today finishing up the song list. Although, in his defense, he did provide me with about 20 songs to put on the list. To top it off, he’d complain about where I’d want to spend money for the wedding.
Post # 4
My fiance hasn’t done much…I would love for him to be involved more but, honestly, he couldn’t care less about the actual wedding. He just cares that we are married. I had a hard time with this at first but I have accepted the fact that he doesn’t care about the details (he is still a guy). And he has expressed to me many times that he wants it to be whatever I have dreamt it to be and wants me to be happy with it. So, I let him watch Tosh. O or whatever show is on while I work on wedding stuff. Luckily for me, my mom lives close by and she is so excited to be a huge part of the planning process.
So for a list, my fiance has done the following:
Booked our honeymoon (after I found it)
Booked our officiant (his cousin)
Paid for the wedding
I think that is it though…
Post # 5
Mine doesn’t want to hear about it at all, he’s already sick of it! We’ve been engaged since Nov and not getting married until next year, but still, there are some things I want to get settled! The worst part is that he has an opinion on just about everything, but doesn’t want to discuss it because he thinks its too soon. Every time he sees me on the hive he just groans 😀 I’m trying to back off but I can’t help it, I love planning this thing!
Post # 6
@clody–that’s exactly what my Fiance says. He just wants me to make it whatever I want (within budget, of course). I was just talking to my mom about this today and she says my dad was exactly the same way when they got married 35 years ago….but for their 25th wedding anniversary and renewal of vows, he was all over it, handling all the details and totally excited. Weird, huh?
Post # 7
My Fiance has been very involved; I don’t know if I would have been able to do all of the planning by myself!
He’s made initial contacts (once I narrowed down the vendors), came with me to all of our vendor meetings, negotiated with some of our vendors and is generally interested and supportive.
It’s made the process a lot more fun and enjoyable for me and we are having a good time planning the wedding together.
Post # 8
My Fiance has gotten pretty involved and always wants to be a part of whatever wedding related thing I might be doing. However, I’m the one who keeps track of all we need to do and schedules all the appointments with our vendors. He’s more than willing to help out with anything I need but I get off work earlier so end up doing a lot of it myself.
Post # 9
My fiance and I discuss what we want…pretty much cheap and effective and Catholic. If it fits those criteria, it’s good 🙂
Post # 10
Mine doesn’t stalk these forums or anything, but he will occassionally look at a magazine. He was very into picking the venue, and we’ve split contacting the caterers. He makes up excel spreadsheets for everything, too. Now, when I start talking about wedding colors he gets a little confused, but he does seem to car eabout the flowers and invitations.. although we’re not at the point of ordering them yet… I’d say we are equally involved. I think I might be upset if he didn’t care.
Post # 11
Teddy helps as much as he can…he is in charge of the wedding website and he goes over all the vendors and stuff before we choose also…he especially went all out to find us the perfect wedding band (music). he even looks at bridesmaid dresses with me and tells me why he prefers this one over that one…he just knows that his input means a lot to me…so he tries really hard to help as much as he can!
Post # 12
My Fiance is quite involved. So far he has made the STD’s (we started making them together and didnt have time to finish so he completed while I was t work) He picked out the colors (white, black, and yellow), he has gone online to help me find creative ideas for favors and decor, helps me with all of our mock ups from centerpieces to STD layout, all of our personalized items. The sweetest thing he has done is one day after coming home from work walks in with a couple dry erase boards and hangs them where we tend to do all the wedding planning ( he said it was to make it easier on me and so we dont forget our ideas) I am pretty lucky to have a man so involved. I just love that he wants to be a big part of the planning process.
Post # 13
We are just starting our planning. I asked him last week after we had set the date and firmly decided on Virgin Gorda, BVI how involved in the planning he wanted to be. His answer, um I don’t really care. So I was like are you saying you just want me to plan it or you show up and he was like well ummmmmm (yes) in his don’t be mad at me voice.
So then I ask or would you like me to do all the research and present you with 2-3 ideas and then ask your opinion and decide from there? And he say’s, yeah that…. that will work for me.
He is so easy going that I know it won’t be a problem, of course he is the one who lives in the BVI’s so having him do more leg work would have been nice, but such is life.
Post # 14
We haven’t really gone gung-ho dive head first into planning as of yet, but he has been very clear on what he will have an opinion on:
& what he’s wearing.
Anything & everything else is up to me, he used the excuse of “You’re a woman, you have a better idea of what looks good, plus I don’t really care about little sparkly thingies I just want to know where the food is!”
Haha so typical. I’ve asked his opinion on about 294819847382974763475 different invitaion designs and his response to each one “That’s nice dear.”
Oh well, I guess he’s of the mind that resistance is futile? [jokes, always jokes].
Post # 15
I like this post!
Mine really only gets involved when I ask him to. He was really into getting engagement photos done, and he was involved in the designing of our invites as well.
In a small way, I don’t really want him involved in doing all the little details, because we have very different opinions on some things and he likes to discuss…. and discuss…. 🙂 I prefer to make a suggestion and then get his okay. 🙂
Post # 16
Completely and totally involved. In the beginning, he was too involved and it caused friction. We jokingly call him “GROOMZILLA.” But now I appreciate it because he is getting lots done and it’s going to be nice to see everything come together as a reflection of OUR investment.
contact with videographer (HIS idea)
framing pictures of parents, grandparents, great grandparents
printing escrot cards and table numbers
mailing save-dates and invites
spreadsheet keeping track of rsvp’s